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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you have a best friend?

119 replies

frankiedays · 03/08/2026 22:24

do you have a proper best friend as an adult? Or a proper group of best friends?
I hear people talk about their best friends all the time and I’m so jealous I don’t have that one person to properly connect with as a friend.

OP posts:
Ozmumofboys3 · 04/08/2026 01:07

Yes I have 2. One now lives on the other side of the world to me and we’re not as close as we once were obviously. We went through college, early adulthood and having our babies together and are always there for each other. I’ve known my second best friend for about 10 years now, our eldest kids started preschool together and we became close. We share absolutely everything and just totally ‘get’ each other. I can’t imagine not having her in my life.

I’ve always been one for a small amount of close friends, I’m not one for wild nights out and far prefer lunches and coffees out than night time drinking. As well as my best friend I probably just have one or 2 other friends tbh. I’m absolutely fine with that, I went through a stage of wondering if I was odd to not be more social but I’m totally fine with it now. I have my partner and kids and a couple of friends and I couldn’t be happier 🙂.

Pieceofpurplesky · 04/08/2026 01:11

I have a group of amazing women as friends. Best friends would be my friend from secondary school - we met on day 1 and were sat next to each other. A university friend who married a relative. A work friend. A 'mum' friend.
I have lots of other close friends and cousins. I am really lucky in that I am surrounded by strong, supportive and sincere women (and a couple of men).

Blodyneighbour · 04/08/2026 01:12

No, but sometimes wish I did. In fact I sort of crave a person like me, like a twin or something. I have nice sisters who I am close to now.
I had best friends when I was younger but found that when they got older they always wanted favours that weren't reciprocated

Theka · 04/08/2026 01:15

No I've never had a best friend as an adult. I don't particularly want one tbh. I don't know when I'd find time to socialise with them, my life is about family, work, and sports. I have acquaintances that slot into my days because I see them at work or sports or doing stuff with dcs. But I wouldn't want to try to make time to meet up with someone when I wasn't going to be somewhere already. I'd find the emotional burden of proper friendship a bit of a drag as well. I just hang out with people when it's convenient but I've never stayed in contact with people from school, uni or work, once I've left it. My emotional bonds are with DH and my family, I see myself as part of a single unit with them.

rainsbows · 04/08/2026 01:15

Nope. I’m 38 and would love some genuine friends. I feel quite lonely really.

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 04/08/2026 01:15

Yes. The position of best friend was filled in September 2004 when she didn’t snitch on me for going into the PE shed at break time. It was our first week of school and we’ve been friends ever since. Got into a world of trouble over the years. I went to Scotland for uni and she worked, she would come up on weekends and holidays and moved here a couple of years ago.

I already have a sister, so I won’t say she’s “like a sister to me” because I like her way more than my sister. She is my soulmate and I am very very lucky to have such an amazing best friend. Also shout out to my husband - he isn’t my best friend (like I said, position filled) but he’s an alright second.

Growlybear83 · 04/08/2026 01:19

I have two very close best friends who I could share anything with, ring at 3 am if I was in trouble, and who I trust with my life. I’ve known them both for about 40 years. I also counted my mum as a best friend too when she was alive. Ive got a couple of other good friends, but we’re not as close as I am with the other two.

MsAmerica · 04/08/2026 02:17

Yes, two - one female, one male.

Well, if you're jealous, why don't you make a concentrated effort to seek out possible friends?

Seacatt · 04/08/2026 04:50

My best friend sadly died in a road traffic accident when she was 39.
I was lucky enough to meet another best friend when we were both in hospital.
Sadly she died suddenly.
I miss them so much.

Rudicoolcat · 04/08/2026 05:17

I did, but her funeral was yesterday.... Feeling heartbroken.

Zanatdy · 04/08/2026 05:23

Yes, one specific best friend, friends for 45yrs. Other close friends and lots of other friends. I am fortunate to have a lot of friends.

treacledan71 · 04/08/2026 05:30

Two long term best friends that have known for 45 years. Always kept in touch. We do live very local but all work different shifts so don't always see each other but talk alot on whattapps and one particular on phone. Feel like they are sisters really. Do have quite a few other friends too in different groups mainly met through work over the years and work at a very large place now and friends though there. Don't really socialise with these work friends as distance outside work but meet lunch chat on teams etc. I am a but of a home bird now. Would say though probably one of my work friends chat more re every day life because connected more each day.

PolkaDotPorridge · 04/08/2026 05:52

Not anymore.

lmnabc · 04/08/2026 05:59

Yes, my sister

coolcahuna · 04/08/2026 06:20

I did have but it turns out that I thought she was a best friend but she didn't put as much store on it. I have decided to stick with the close friends that I have and not worry about the whole best friend thing.

Likeiloveyou · 04/08/2026 06:21

I am lucky enough to have close friends who I have shared everything with for the past 45 years.

It has made a huge difference to my life, knowing they are there in the background if I should need help, especially since I became a single parent.

However, I wouldn’t single out one of them as a “best friend”.

PermanentTemporary · 04/08/2026 06:32

No. Like @minimuffs2651 i have some really really good friends but not one ‘best and always’. I think it’s probably a quirk of mine tbh and I am apt to have slightly asymmetric friendships where I would like to be closer than they would or vice versa - I’m currently working that one out in therapy.

In general I am ok with not having a single best friend. The friends I do have are absolutely beyond wonderful.

Rainbows246 · 04/08/2026 06:42

I have a group of 6 very close friends and a few others. Out of the 6 i would say two are my best friends. One i met at school and one ive been friends with since i was 19 and im now 47.

Im not in the pockets of any of my friends we dont message constantly or have group chats unless organising things, sometimes it’s a while before i physically catch up but are always there for each other.

Epoisses · 04/08/2026 06:52

I have a friend Ive known 15 years who lives about 4 hours away who I consider my best friend. We chat intermittently on messenger every day. Shes my LPA person alongside dh and dd.
I also have a 2nd in command best friend who also lives 4 hours away.
I'm late 60s...they are late 50s.

Darkdiamond · 04/08/2026 07:05

I have a nice friendship group that I meet up with regularly and could rely on in times of need. I also have one best friend who isn't part of this group but who I have been friends with since we were 12, and we are now mod forties. We have never had a bad word between us and I feel like she is the only person who really properly knows me, moreso than my husband even. I feel like she is more like a sister than a friend. We don't see eachother often but when we do, it's like we were never apart.

Iocanepowder · 04/08/2026 07:06

Yes i have 2. Met them at work and uni coming up to 20 years ago. I have moved a few hours away from them but they are still my best friends.

Sartre · 04/08/2026 07:08

Yep. We’ve known one another since we were 3, best friends since around 10. He’s gay and he’s lived quite a wild life, the sort you’d read about in fiction to be frank. My life is very dull in comparison! We don’t meet often but when we do it’s like we enter another realm together and the outside world doesn’t exist. We love listening to one another and having a laugh, he’s great.

Lentilcakes · 04/08/2026 07:19

Yes I have two, known both since I was 15 and they’re friends with each other too but not as friendly as I am with both of them. They wouldn’t see each other in their own but we socialise in a small group sometimes.

We’ve been through loads together and had some great times and both bring something different to the relationship- one I can be 100% myself with. There’s nothing she doesn’t know about me and we are more like family I would say, she can drive me mad too in that way, but we just get each other, although our lives are very different.

The other friend and I have more in common, our DCs are a similar age and our DHs are good friends too. We’ve holidayed together a couple of times when DC were young and she’s very supportive when the shit hits the fan. She’d be my 2am call!

So yes, I’m lucky, but I don’t really have family (apart from dh and dc) so I do put a lot of store by my friends and nurture the friendships. I have some other close friends too which is great, most are very longstanding as well.

redballerina · 04/08/2026 07:27

No. I have 4-5 friends and there’s one that I like slightly more than the rest but a) she has friends she’s closer to and b) even though I like all of them and have a moaning session with them at times, there isn’t one I’d tell my my most personal secrets/issues to as we’re not close enough.

Wynter25 · 04/08/2026 07:42

Yes have a few