Do you have a best friend?

[frankiedays]

do you have a proper best friend as an adult? Or a proper group of best friends?
I hear people talk about their best friends all the time and I’m so jealous I don’t have that one person to properly connect with as a friend.

I did. She died suddenly five years ago. I still miss her. Her husband moved on very quickly after she died.

No, I don't have a best friend. Haven't had one really since I was maybe early 20's. I keep reading on Mumsnet about people going on spa days with their mates but that doesn't register in my world at all.

No. I did have from school but because I moved away year late I realised it was o let me making contact so I stopped and havnt heard from her since ce.

but I do have a good group of friends where I love. We do things together, weekends away, dinners out, theatre trips etc and it fits well with my work and family life.

Yes, we met a Primary School, in our 50s now. Been through it all together. I trust her implicitly, she knows all my past, alll my secrets, and would never tell anyone (and vice versa).
I have a second friend I’m very close too. Met when our children were in Reception, so 15 years or so ago - this is someone else I trust, and can talk to about anything.

I then have a wider group of female friend, people I’ve just met over the years .. who I go out for drinks / meals with.

I do have some Male friends, but much prefer the company of women

Yes, met mine in nursery school, still friends 40 years later. Part of a larger group of primary and secondary school friends. See some a few times a week others every few months. Meet up for big birthdays and go away on weekends away at last twice a year.

I have two. Met them through our hobby when I was 30. Of all the friends I’ve had in my whole life, they will be my forever friends.

Best friends do take a lot of effort and you have to put in what you want to get out. And you have to find your 'right' person!

I have a best friend.
2 other very close friends.
Then childhood best friend who is still in my home town and now a large distance between us Therefore don't see each other a lot but keep in regular contact.

I have a few best friends. One I've known since Reception class (so 30+ years), another I've known from living on the same street as a child. I also have a few others but have known them a long time too.

I always assumed this was the norm but have realised in recent years that's not the case. I'm very lucky to have some wonderful people in my life 😊

No. People dropped off the radar as we got older and went away to university. The remaining best friend seemed to disappear as soon as she got a girlfriend. We could never meet up on our own after that. They are now married...

I've two. Met them in sixth form, so known them for 25 years at this point.

Are they necessarily the people I have the most fun with? No, I have other friends who make me laugh more, or are more entertaining, or like the same stuff I do. They're not even the friends I see most often or talk to most freqently.

But they're the ones who I can count on being there if something goes wrong, who I can talk to about anything and vice versa. They're the ones who'll still be around in another 20, 30 years (as long as none of us pops our clogs of course!)

I did but she died last year. I’d known her for 25 years and if there was somebody on the completely same wavelength as me, it was her.
I’m lucky to have other very lovely friends but
it’s not the same.

I do but it’s not the same one I had as a child up to age 24 and the other one from 14 to early 40s.

I have two best friends that I’ve known since I was 14 and 24. I see them about once a month. They have met but arent in touch. I feel as though people that knew me before I had kids, know the whole of me, so are closer than more recent friends. Having a friend who knew my parents, came to my house after school etc, is literally irreplaceable.

My cousin is my best friend. We weren’t close that close as children and I probably had t seen her in 10 years but the relationship deepened when we re connected after she had her second child. Outside of her I have several close friends who i see regularly.

I'm not sure. Can you define what you mean by "best friend"?

Your perplexity means you don’t have one, and never have had one.

I wouldn't say I'm "perplexed". And I would definitely say I had a best friend in my childhood and another in my teens. For one thing, in those days we were very explicit about identifying our one and only "best friend" in pretty much the same way that we would our one and only "boyfriend". I don't think most adults do that? Unless it is the same best friend they've had since childhood.

My childhood best friends didn't last forever and I can think of one or two contenders now, but we haven't taken the best friend vows of childhood. And there isn't the same daily inseparability that I had with my best friends in those days. So I'm wondering what a best friend looks like in adulthood.

I think different people do have different definitions of what a best friend is. For example, some people think you can have more than one and some think that is impossible. I think some might describe the women I have in mind as best friends and others might not. I'm slightly unsure rather than perplexed (= utterly baffled).

Yes . We met on the first day of Infants school and we are 54 now.
X

No - I have quite a few friends, but no one is my 'best friend' and tbh I think it's a bit childish to have a best friend. I had a best friend when I was at school, but not since.

I did. I was married to her. She was my partner in humour, mischief, walking, talking, everything.

No. I had one for years but things turned toxic.

I technically have two best friends who I share everything with but they are my sisters.
I have a bunch of school mam friends that I meet up with occasionally and the older group from my teenage years and 20’s. That’s 4 times a year max.
I would like to have one again to do things outside of the family.

I have a few friends who I would say are bestie material and I love them and could talk to them about anything.
Hard to choose a proper best friend. I have had several quite intense female friendships and I don't have that at the moment

I don’t have one, but I have three very very close female friends who fill that role. One I was at primary school with 50 years ago, we only see each other once in a blue moon but it’s like no time has passed. I’m going to see her next week and am very excited - we only see each other when we happen to visit our parents at the same time (her mum and my mum are also good friends). One is a work colleague that I just clicked with - we have different jobs but same-age kids and are at similar stages in life. She’s so funny, makes me laugh so much . And one was my first and favourite mum friend. Our oldest children are the same age (and they are really good friends too), we went through the baby years together and she’s just great company.

A lot of my friendships have cooled and become distant in middle age as I find being that close to someone can be more hassle than it's worth. I find the term "best friend" is for kids to be honest.

I have my sister who's my best friend, I have very close friends, and I have several groups of friends, all of those kind of overlap.

I don't have a family (as in husband and kids) by choice, but my friends are everything.