Not to want to wash my hair over a sink with a bloody sieve?!

[RulesControlTheFun]

Ok first world problems, but DH, DS, DD and I are staying with my elderly aunt and uncle. They have a massive house with modern bathrooms but DA had just told me that I cannot wash my shoulder length hair in the shower as it will block the drains, “But it’s ok as you can wash it over the sink and catch all the hair in a sieve”! FFS!!!

If I try to do this the water will go everywhere (the basin is tiny), the shampoo and conditioner will go in my eyes if I bend forward, and if I try to kneel backwards it will give me severe neck pain (and water everywhere again).

I normally wash my hair every three days which should have been last night, and we don’t go home until tomorrow. And we’re in the middle of nowhere without a car, though I’m going to have to insist on a diversion on our day trip to buy some dry shampoo.

I’m really annoyed she didn’t tell me this before hand as at least I could have washed my hair just before coming. And what about my 11 year old who has really long thick hair? Mercifully she’s not due to wash hair until tomorrow, but if it had needed washing sooner we’d be stuffed.

😩

1 - my amazon, even with prime, rarely actually does send things within 1 day anymore
2 - "delivery tomorrow" could equal any time tomorrow. If they are leaving at lunchtime, what's the point in it arriving at 6pm?
3 - the environmental impact of ordering one tiny 99p item, to be driven thirty miles only to be used once, is ridiculous

Just leave a day early or don't wash your hair for one extra day, or wash it anyway and don't tell them/say it got a bit wet when you were showering.

You don't think you're being a liiitttle bit overdramatic OP with the 'mercifully' and 'we'd be stuffed?' in relation to ....gasp....washing your daughter's hair 12 hours later than normal? Are your lives so incredibly regimented?

Just get a hair catcher which fits over the drain

That’s crazy. I would just skip washing my hair for the night. Curious to know how old your aunt is. My elderly aunt currently has her son living with her, hopefully for him, on a temporary basis. He is not allowed to leave his room at night and if he needs to go to the loo, he must use a potty as if he leaves his room, “ He’ll wake up the dog!” My cousin is 53. She also has rules around bathing. If you stay at her house, you are assigned a time when you are to bathe. She has modern plumbing so it’s not due to a small water tank or anything like that. It’s just anxiety and control, I suppose.

At least you’re not forced to use a potty in your room OP. Lol !!!!!

You can't possibly stand in that!?

brush your hair thoroughly before washing to remove as much loose hair as possible, wash, condition, comb the the conditioner catching any loose hair that comes out, pick up any loose hair in the drain afterwards. Simples.

buy them a bottle of drain unblocker as a Christmas present this year.

She's a bit crazy but honestly, YABU. Just be grateful your relatives don't live in a place where the toilets are a whole in the ground in an outdoor shed, or where the electricity only comes on at certain times etc
Or even just that you're family is obsessed with camping.
I've lived in places where washing hair over the sink was the only option. You're being precious. For 2 days! If anything it will just make you appreciate the shower more when you get back.

Have they got any talcum powder that you could use as a dry shampo. But and extra two days without washing your hair won't be that bad. And you'll know next time to wash it that morning/bring dry shampoo.

I’ve noticed that my mum always leaves a bottle of drain unblocker out on the bathroom counter if I ever stay over 😂

That bucket arrangement is absolutely bonkers and dangerous. Soap on the plants is not a problem, it will probably keep aphids off.

I've never had long hair and was quite surprised when I had visitors with long hair quite how much it sheds. Everywhere, not just the shower. Having said that I wouldn't dream of saying anything. I always wash my hair in the bathroom basin. When I had it refitted I got a tall tap for that very reason.

Just turn the plug and the whole thing comes away so easy to clean.

Just have your shower and put the sieve in the shower, ignore them.

To a certain extent I see where they are coming from but a couple of hair washes is not going to block the drains - most of the hair will just sit in the plug hole and you can remove when you are finished
Have you got a decent sized Tesco nearby? if so see if they’ve got any drain savers (if that’s what they are called) in the £1 cheap bits section.
I put one over the plug hole when I wash my hair and it definitely catches every bit of hair. I also have one sitting over the plug hole in the kitchen sink and it’s amazing what it prevents from going down the drain

It can UNbecome an annual visit.

and be clear with her, if we come and visit, we will stay somewhere else without unreasonable and dangerous restrictions on how we wash

if you’re never invited back - result!

Absolutely bonkers! Showers have drains to catch the hair, you just have to clear it out regularly! Take the sieve and put it over the shower drain if they’re that precious!!

I’m not arguing your DA is right. But….

You can wait one or two days more wo washing your hair.
Esp with longer hair, there are plenty of hairstyle that will allow you to look ok.

I put used washing up water from the kitchen sink on the garden. That is okay.

But yes, this sounds like a very weird request for a guest. I wonder if this is one of those times when it is more polite to be direct. Apart from anything else, the standing in a bucket is actually quite dangerous.

Be extremely unemotional and matter of fact. You need to wash your hair and standing in a bucket feels uncomfortable and unsafe. You are surprised that they’ve been able to manage this.

Next year, if they invite you, stay in a B&B on the grounds that you can’t manage their shower situation. It may genuinely not have occurred to them that this will put people off.

I think I would care a lot more about having to stand in a bucket than not being able to wash my hair.

Completely bizarre! Just wash your hair in the shower and pretend you used the sieve.

Exactly,there is a shower trap !

Utterly bizarre to make you stand in a bucket-how slippery is that?!

I have long very curly hair and do have to hoick hair out of the sink, where I soak my hair then put on leave in conditioner. Never had an issue in the bath where I might occasionally wash/condition/comb. For the sink, I have an extra long screw (!!) to get out the hair.

I echo not staying there again, it’s just too painful, but presumably you can go another day without washing your hair if you want to abide by their rules? You sound a bit stuck in a routine, although tbf, I rarely need to wash mine, it would never become oily or anything.

Give your hair a good brushing before showering. Always and wherever you are.

Even modern showers can clog, when the shower in my bathroom was draining very slowly I tried the liquid unclogging stuff that helped a bit but I also tackled it with a loo plunger. OMG, I thought I had captured a rat, a huge clump of black stuff, I needed to get my gardening gloves and a couple of plastic bags! As a result I use the unclogging stuff every six weeks or so. I have the shower traps and find they're not very effective and there's only me using the shower.

Ignore her. Wash your hair in the shower. Clean out the drain afterwards. Say that you used the sink.

Time has passed since then. I’m sure in 80 years they’ve grown used to modern plumbing.

Just wash your hair in the shower. Don't volunteer the information but if asked say you are very sorry but you forgot. It doesn't have to be convincing, you don't have to do anything at all and certainly don't need to get into a debate about the details. It's so simple, it's just about being charming about it and not responding to any expectations that you explain or justify what you do.

There's only me using our en suite shower and it does get clogged after a while. I pull as much as I can out of the trap bit once a week, but I've found a long twisty, flexible thingy with plastic barbs on that you insert down the drain and twist around. It comes out with an amazing amount of hair and congealed soap on.