Not to want to wash my hair over a sink with a bloody sieve?!

[RulesControlTheFun]

Ok first world problems, but DH, DS, DD and I are staying with my elderly aunt and uncle. They have a massive house with modern bathrooms but DA had just told me that I cannot wash my shoulder length hair in the shower as it will block the drains, “But it’s ok as you can wash it over the sink and catch all the hair in a sieve”! FFS!!!

If I try to do this the water will go everywhere (the basin is tiny), the shampoo and conditioner will go in my eyes if I bend forward, and if I try to kneel backwards it will give me severe neck pain (and water everywhere again).

I normally wash my hair every three days which should have been last night, and we don’t go home until tomorrow. And we’re in the middle of nowhere without a car, though I’m going to have to insist on a diversion on our day trip to buy some dry shampoo.

I’m really annoyed she didn’t tell me this before hand as at least I could have washed my hair just before coming. And what about my 11 year old who has really long thick hair? Mercifully she’s not due to wash hair until tomorrow, but if it had needed washing sooner we’d be stuffed.

😩

Exactly-was wondering why it's ok in the sink but not shower! Yes OP, people should tell you about their rules in advance. I'd probably just use dry shampoo till getting home.

Yep, I would probably stay in a hotel / B&B. What is tricky is when someone’s hosting days are over BUT they don’t realise it and absolutely will not hear of you staying in the hotel.

I can understand getting into habits of not wasting any water and eating very small meals if it was just the two of them - but if they were hosting, did they not realise that this wouldn’t work for the visitors? Did you / anyone tell them that you needed to eat more food and offer to buy more?

My DP and DPIL did grow up with external toilets, tin baths in front of the fire etc. They aren't massively wealthy now. They'd be mortified to ask a guest to wash their hair in a sink. DP have had issues with heating that have taken a while to fix and they have boiled water for DC baths when they could very well manage with showers because DC prefer a bath! It's a personality/control thing and it's rude.

I definitely have the type of hair that looks grim on day 3 after a wash. There's no style that hides the grease. I'd be super annoyed not to be able to wash hair if I had to leave the house.

OP, I've loved this whole thread. I hope that the relatives are good company or that you're in for a good inheritance out of this.

Ignore. I have alopecia. If I shower, hair is going down the drain whether I actively wash it or not. I'm not fannying about with a sieve just to clean my body.

They sound rather like characters in a Nancy Mitford novel!

My mum's old neighbour died after slipping in the shower. He slipped, knocked his head on the sink and broke his rib on the side of the bath. His broken rib punctured his lung and then he got MRSA in hospital and died.

You're right, she did say new plumbing etc. Although maybe it was such a hassle they don't want to repeat it!

Re water shortage; my point above was that I believe water is pumped all around, for example from Suffolk to Essex, and that we all waste a lot of water - we do.

Why water shortages occur is a different issue (and I don't disagree with you).

And I agree, you don't treat guests like this: my posts were trying to see the other side.

If it’s okay to ignore the host’s rules then that means we can all go back to wearing shoes in everyone else’s house. Cool

You or hubby could try and snake the drain for them?

She’s being very inhospitable .
just wash your hair , tell her you washed it over the sink and clear the shower drain of hair once you’re all done .
I try to wash my hair every 3rd day so if I knew someone was going to be like that , I’d wash and dry my hair before I left to visit them then wait till I was home .
so that’d mean only short stays

Crikey. That’s both nuts and very poor form by your host

I would leave with a sad look on my face ☹️😞😒

If you really can go several days without washing your hair, then why wouldn’t you wash it before you go?

See I would respect the rules of
someone’s home. But I wouldn’t stay more than one night max anyway, regardless of the house rules.

Yes absolutely, but it would have caused great offence if we’d offered to stay elsewhere.

My hair would look like an oil slick after 48 hours. There’s no way I could wait another day to wash my hair. I’d shove a towel over the plug hole and crack on.

I agree, but you have to decide what your limit ids for these kinds of rules and

stick to it, being flexible doesn't mean just passively accepting.

One of these (not much use to you now!)
https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=oxo+pop+up+plug+drain+strainer&rh=p_123%3A232605&dc&qid=1785603985&rnid=91049098031&ref=srnrp1231&ds=v1%3AzaIFBVvQSPMWrfu3Di1PmU27VYJOr2rn7l3q8gYoQ7o

Honestly, I would quite happily never come here - I only do it because they invite us every summer, and ask us a year in advance (!) to fix the date to make sure it happens.

But as above they have form - eg when my kids were younger they refused to let us eat in their village cafe because they said the kids would be too noisy and disruptive. Honestly: my kids are and always have been very well behaved (and I’m not one of those parents who lets their kids run amok and is blind to how naughty they are!).

Its also a real trek to get up here from where we live so it’s hard to come for any fewer than 3 nights. If we drive it’s a 5 hour trip (and DS gets badly car sick). So we do it by train which takes about 3.5 hours but it means we don’t have a car so are dependent on DA and DU to drive us around.

If I were to suggest we stay in a hoteL DA would be very upset and offended - they like to think they are hospitable hosts even if they’re not.

We lived in a house where the drains clogged ridiculously easily, it was like a horror movie, we went through so many different decloggers and plumbers couldn’t tell us what was wrong. It’s only one more day- leave your hair or use some form of a plug hole cover thingy!!!

Thank you, I’d not seen one of these! It would be ideal but for the weird shower bucket system, meaning theres no reason why o can’t wash my hair in the shower. I’m still baffled the sieve/sink system was proposed!

Because the day before I was up until midnight ironing and packing, then I had to take my son for a hospital appointment in London the morning we travelled up here, then I went into the office in the afternoon, then straight to the station for a 6:30pm train 🤷‍♀️

But mainly because it never occurred to me that I wouldn’t be able to wash my hair here - if I’d known this I’d have washed it at midnight the night before!

“OP, I've loved this whole thread. I hope that the relatives are good company or that you're in for a good inheritance out of this.”

Ha, thanks - I’m glad some good has come of it! But in answer to your questions - they’re ok company (but annoying in ways other than this), and my inheritance is small as their will leaves pretty much everything to charity, which is their prerogative. Hey ho!

This