AIBU to serve afternoon tea rather than a full dinner?

[Afternoonteafor100]

Me and my two sisters want to throw our DM a surprise 70th birthday party. Nothing massive just a little party with family and friends to celebrate her big milestone birthday. She’s spent a lifetime caring for her younger sisters, escaping near death in Uganda, looking after and raising 3 daughters and now one little granddaughter and she’s never been the centre of attention. So we decided that for a couple of hours for one day it should be about her and celebrate her life.
well we decided on an afternoon tea theme with sandwiches tea and cakes , something light for a daytime birthday party and it’s cuaeee uproar with the aunties who think we should be serving full on dinner dishes!! Well we think that’s ridiculous but they are insisting that an afternoon tea light snack type of party won’t go down well with some of the other family members but how can I politely say I do not give a feck!! It’s about people coming to celebrate our mum not the free food!! It’s quite annoyed me

Sounds like a lovely idea. If they don't like it they don't have to come!

Sounds lovely. You carry on with your plans!

Sounds lovely! Do a proper job- tiered cake plates and so on. Really makes a difference. I’ve got very lightweight ones I can take out to events and it works a treat.

Absolutely sounds lovely!

My daughter did a lovely afternoon tea at her house with friends and family for my last birthday. Everyone said how nice it was and we all really enjoyed ourselves.

Brilliant plan. Just don’t foget the bubbly 😃👍

Are you of Ugandan heritage?

If so, you know full well there will be aunties expecting full rice dishes

Yabu, just do it. There are some great tiktokkers who show how to elevate even the most unluxurious dishes

Go crazy with tableware and cakes ❤️

Lovely you could also hire bone china teapot and cups and saucers. You can hire fancy three layer cake stands too in bone china. A lot of older people love these. You could serve a selection of tiny crust less sandwiches, mini sausage rolls, fondant fancy size and type of cake, macarons, scones with cream and jam. If you use a nice linen tablecloth it will be nice and classy.

Afternoon tea is a lovely celebration. If they want to have dinner they can arrange something.

Enjoy your event.

I have a full dinner and tea and coffee service in this pattern. It's Royal Albert Lavindar Rose.

I think the most important question is what would your mum enjoy the most?

Although in my opinion, afternoon tea is the most appropriate for a daytime gathering. A full cooked meal wouldn't be. But I am very white middle class and that's my cultural expectations. If you are of Ugandan Heritage, different cultural rules will apply, and it's up to you if you stick to them or not

If your mum likes afternoon tea, it’s a perfectly fine idea.

I hate it, but that’s just me.

I think it sounds lovely! At least 4 kinds of crustless sandwiches, mini pies, macarons, a big Victoria sponge, scones with jam and cream, tea of various types, fizz and orange juice, possibly small slices of a fruit cake?

Hi

Sorry we wont be doing full dishes. The event is to enjoy everyone's company with a nice light afternoon bite.
Please RSVP either way by X date
Thanks!

Sounds lovely OP. Don't give in because if others

Sounds lovely we did an afternoon tea party for dm 80th

Sounds lovely! I’d put on the invites ‘Join us for afternoon tea to celebrate….’ so it was clear what to expect. But there are no specific dishes that must be served at a party - they will be ridiculous if they decline an invite because it’s not meat and two veg or whatever!

I think the important question is, what would your mum like?
I personally love an afternoon tea for that sort of get together, it’s much more relaxed than trying to get hot plates to the table and serving everyone.

For my 40th I had a Garden Party with afternoon tea. We all got dressed up smart and had a fab time in the back garden.

We did afternoon tea for my DM and she (and everyone else) loved it. Unless the aunts are hosting/paying for it/cooking it they can back right off and mind their own business!

So she’s spent a lifetime caring for her younger sister, raising children, looking after grandchildren, escaping death. And you’re giving her two whole hours? Sounds a bit mean tbh.

Could you do some sandwiches in Ugandan flavours as a compromise (sorry, I'm not sure what they might be, but say some kind of chicken as one with relevant spices?)

E.g. I'd be more than happy with a Senegalese chicken yassa mini sarnie.

We did an afternoon tea for my mum's big birthday a few years ago. We bought everything in - sandwich platters and scones from a local cafe, we have an amazing continental bakery who made tiny bite size versions of their pastries and macarons and they also made the most wonderful birthday cake. We found tea stands in local charity shops and used tablecloths that had belonged to my grandmother as a newlywed before ww2. Everyone thoroughly enjoyed it - nobody went hungry at all. It was a wonderful, relaxed celebration. If you know your mum would enjoy it, it doesn't matter what the aunties want. If they are that bothered, they can prepare and host a full meal of their own.

A proper afternoon tea is very filling! I’d love that. If they don’t like it tough. I think it’s a great idea!

YABU if your Mum wouldn't enjoy it

YANBU if she would

Hope you have a lovely celebration whatever you decide to do!