To think this email from my exes solicitor is just absolutely laughable

[Esmeraldathe3rd]

DSs dad is on an increasing schedule of contact during our court process, started with supported and he's now on one-one. (Contact originally stopped because social services though he was a danger, before what he had alternate weekends plus some extras in hols)

Last weekend was his first full day. He was 3hrs late because he forgot about it. Now I get an email off his solicitor requesting we agree outside of court 5050 shared care or they'll take me to court over 1.unrelated and 2. Completely in my favour, financial issues. Essentially threatening me that if I don't agree it'll cost me. Also threatening to take MY allegations of rape against him, further, like how? You raped me, I agreed not to press charges, what are you going to do?

I just cannot imagine being so arrogant that I would be 3 hours late to see my son and then demand shared care?! CAFCAS is not reccomeding shared care. The judge scoffed at the last hearing when he said he was insisting on shared care. In what world would I agree to that?

And honestly why would his solicitor support that, they seem like the most incompetent people I've ever met, it baffles me.

Oh don't worry I have zero faith in them. But his proposal is absolutely ridiculous, utterly absurd, it would not be recommended by any judge, I don't even know where he would get this idea from. I have replied in a sub par manner from my own standard. The proceedings have taken a year to get to where we are. This next hearing will be our absolute final one, it is a full day, the judge is final that he will make a final decision. So I've been through it enough. I know it's a complete shit show, I know I can rely on no one but myself but honestly I've rather impressed myself and part of my surprise with the email from them is the idea that "what on earth would make you think I'd fall for that?!" I have consistently called everybody out, consistently been on the ball. My statements and court performance knocks theirs out the park. To underestimate me to such an extreme that you think you can threaten me into giving up. Over money of all things?! Pull the other one.

Have you not remarried? Does your husband not support you?

Yes and yes. But he's not allowed in court is he so what's that got to do with anything?

Thank to everyone who has offered support and advice. I just wanted to vent about the ridiculous less of it. Not argue with some randomer over my every life choice as though it's some kind of murder mystery game, there's no big "gotcha" just a person trying to keep themself safe from a mistake they made as a teenager and couldn't get out of for 10 years. So I'll be leaving this thread, I'm not here to quell somebody's boredom. Some people's lives aren't tidy and simple unfortunately.

Genius

I can understand you don't want to risk making things worse. I'd still give your bank a call - they will definitely have a vulnerable customer/domestic abuse team you can ask for.

At least regularly check your credit report - it should show the mortgage and any other debts you may have. In your situation I would sign up for a Protective Registration so he can't take out more debt in your name. It's only £30 for 2 years.

https://www.cifas.org.uk/pr

I'd seriously consider moving to a non-Hague convention country once this court case is over...

Let it go back to court and document everything. Keep emotion out of it and next time you're in court because he's caused it ask the judge to attach an order where he cannot keep taking you back to court

I just wanted to say how sorry I am that this man harmed you. It’s genuinely appalling that he can be given access to your precious boy. I am sorry that the system hasn’t delivered financial fairness either. You sound like an incredible woman and one day your son will understand how hard you’ve worked to protect him.

Duplicate post.

Sorry about your situation but how the fuck did a judge sign off on that financial order its very one sided

Either ignore the solicitor emails - you're under no legal obligation to reply to anything from a solicitor, and every email your ex gets them to send, costs HIM money.
Or reply once, with some polite version of "Cool, see you court, dick-stain."

I had a solicitors letter at work that I replied to

Their response

'It appears that our client has significantly misrepresented their situation'

I also had one from CAB about my ex wife where I replied why were they wasting their precious time over a pack of lies and I wont be able to talk to one of your workers in my professional capacity any more if you take her case any further.

BUT Solicitors need to be careful about what they say of a client and many cross the line