Page 3 | To think this email from my exes solicitor is just absolutely laughable

Proteinpudding · 31/07/2026 17:55

Op, take this as a gift.
The ex has already got on the wrong side of the judge by the sounds of it, and this is just going to add to that, making your life easier in the long run. Please don't confuse the solicitor sending the letter with evidence that the solicitor believes or supports him, they're there to do a job. Usually they'll try an advise their client against something but it sounds like your ex isn't one who would take the advice!

Prawnlover · 31/07/2026 17:58

Why did you agree not to report the rape? Presumably the solicitor refers to him pursing a libel or slander claim?

Prawnlover · 31/07/2026 18:00

He lives in my house free of charge and I've made no issue of it.

this is one of the highest drips I have ever seen on mumsnet

TisEye · 31/07/2026 18:06

NotAnotherScarf · 31/07/2026 12:31

A true story to illustrate that solicitors are just there for the money

I was a claims manager we sent the customer vouchers to settle a claim. She changed her mind and sent them back in thd normal post . They got lost. As she didn't take any care and had no proof we said nothing could be done and closed the claim.

A solicitor wrote . I replied pointing out she didn't exercise reasons care and had no proof so there was nothing we could do and she couldn't make a second claim as insurance has an implied and case law supported rule that you always act as if uninsured.

Solicitor wrote back threatening legal action. On the same day we got another letter from a different solicitor repeating what solicitor one said in their first letter.

Clearly solicitor one told her I was right...but still took the money to write to me again.

I simply photocopied all of the letters and sent them to both solicitors with a brief note explaining i was right

So op just write back to the solicitor tell them to go ahead and pointing out that given your ex forgot contact its very very unlikely any court would find in his favour and that social services have already intervened in contact. Re the rate (and I am really sorry that happened to you) remind him that any action would take place in open court and that his name would forevermore be linked to a rape case.

I would also tell the solicitor that you know they are just representing their client but just because its a letter from a solicitor you are not concerned about the contents because you all know its absolutely ridiculous.

Don't ever be afraid of solicitors...they are human and most actually don't know all that much about the law

I love this.

It took until I was about 35 to realise that 95% of people - especially professionals - are winging it and hoping nobody notices. I firmly include myself in this.

OP stick to your guns, you know the truth, you know this guy is a bellend and the court will see that too.

It's all smoke and mirrors. Stay focussed on your children.

pizzaHeart · 31/07/2026 18:07

Likeiloveyou · 31/07/2026 12:49

I would reply to the solicitor several times asking different questions, a few days apart, so ex incurs additional costs each time solicitor has to contact you.

I love your style!

Gardenisablooming · 31/07/2026 18:07

Ex had his solicitor write to me demanding I remove my newly fitted blinds as he could no longer see into my home.
He tried to get me charged with assault when I shut the back door on him when he had wedged his foot inside..
I told the police quite earnestly if I had meant to assault him I would have used a pan.

Prawnlover · 31/07/2026 18:12

Prawnlover · 31/07/2026 18:00

He lives in my house free of charge and I've made no issue of it.

this is one of the highest drips I have ever seen on mumsnet

I meant biggest drip!

Aiming4Optimistic · 31/07/2026 18:21

How is he living in your house? Why are you not taking steps to get him evicted?

Original poster

Esmeraldathe3rd · 31/07/2026 19:46

Prawnlover · 31/07/2026 18:12

I meant biggest drip!

Show quote history

😂😂 I guess it's not really about that for me. It's the audacity of emailing me threatening me , demanding 5050 when you were just hours late for handover.

The house is complicated. We owned two houses, both were in my sole name. But we ran a company together so my money was his money essentially. And we were married so they're joint assets anyway. One had no mortgage and stayed as my own home. The other is worth twice as much but had a small mortgage on it in my sole name. From before we married. He has not at any point been added to either the land registry or mortgage. The financial order stated I kept the smaller one and that he had to pay off the mortgage of the bigger one for that to be transferred to him. The mortgage is paid from a joint account I now have no access to whatsoever. So he is obviously keeping this topped up so is essentially paying the mortgage off, just at a monthly rate which will clear in 2031 at which time I'll transfer it to him. I am in no need of buying another house ATM so paying to take him to court to force this is just a waste of money. It could burn down tomorrow, I don't care. I don't care if he stops paying the mortgage and they repossess it. Even if that destroys my credit rating. I don't need a loan or mortgage for anything so I really don't care what happens to it. I have informed the mortgage lender, they don't care as long as the mortgage gets paid. So I just find it insane that he's using that as a stick to beat me with over my actual child. Like ok, take me to court, pay the mortgage off and I'll sign the house over to you. Or don't take me to court, pay the mortgage and I'll sign the house over, who gives AF? Not me.

OP posts:

Prawnlover · 31/07/2026 20:08

Esmeraldathe3rd · 31/07/2026 19:46

😂😂 I guess it's not really about that for me. It's the audacity of emailing me threatening me , demanding 5050 when you were just hours late for handover.

The house is complicated. We owned two houses, both were in my sole name. But we ran a company together so my money was his money essentially. And we were married so they're joint assets anyway. One had no mortgage and stayed as my own home. The other is worth twice as much but had a small mortgage on it in my sole name. From before we married. He has not at any point been added to either the land registry or mortgage. The financial order stated I kept the smaller one and that he had to pay off the mortgage of the bigger one for that to be transferred to him. The mortgage is paid from a joint account I now have no access to whatsoever. So he is obviously keeping this topped up so is essentially paying the mortgage off, just at a monthly rate which will clear in 2031 at which time I'll transfer it to him. I am in no need of buying another house ATM so paying to take him to court to force this is just a waste of money. It could burn down tomorrow, I don't care. I don't care if he stops paying the mortgage and they repossess it. Even if that destroys my credit rating. I don't need a loan or mortgage for anything so I really don't care what happens to it. I have informed the mortgage lender, they don't care as long as the mortgage gets paid. So I just find it insane that he's using that as a stick to beat me with over my actual child. Like ok, take me to court, pay the mortgage off and I'll sign the house over to you. Or don't take me to court, pay the mortgage and I'll sign the house over, who gives AF? Not me.

Show quote history

Your abusive ex is living for free in one of your properties? Mind blowing.

What does your husband think about that?

Prawnlover · 31/07/2026 20:08

So he is obviously keeping this topped up so is essentially paying the mortgage off,

you said he was living in it rent free?

Prawnlover · 31/07/2026 20:10

He lives in my house free of charge and I've made no issue of it.

But in actual fact… the consent order stipulated that this property will transfer wholly to him once the mortgage is paid off. And he is paying the mortgage off.

So… it is not your house and he’s not living in it free of charge!

Original poster

Esmeraldathe3rd · 31/07/2026 20:28

Prawnlover · 31/07/2026 20:10

He lives in my house free of charge and I've made no issue of it.

But in actual fact… the consent order stipulated that this property will transfer wholly to him once the mortgage is paid off. And he is paying the mortgage off.

So… it is not your house and he’s not living in it free of charge!

Edited

Yes it's complicated. He's ordered to pay the mortgage off before he gets the house transferred to him. This wasn't intended as a monthly payment, he was supposed to pay it off, over and done with. Not over a 10 year period. The mortgage payment is tiny, about a quarter of market rental value. . Until the mortgage is paid I am stuck with a mortgage and a house that affects my own finances. There is no agreement that he can live in the house in the meantime. He isn't supposed to get the house until it is paid off and in his name. He has no rights at the moment to be living in the house at all. The only reason he is able to pay for the mortgage is because the direct debit is still running from an account with my name on that he is able to pay money into. I have made zero issue of this. I have left him to it. The fact that he has then threatened ME with legal action over the fact that I haven't transferred the property to him yet, as a direct result of the fact that he hasn't paid the mortgage off is an absolute joke. I am not stopping him owning the house. But it is my house, that he has no rights to, until the mortgage is paid.

It's literally like you exchanging on a house, moving in before completion and then paying a few hundred quid a month and complaining that the sale hasn't gone through yet. It's absolutely bonkers.

I haven't complained about the house situation, but he has zero right to.

Like I haven't pressed charges on him raping me, because it's my word against his and I'm not going through that, but for him to hold that against me?! Like he's the one that can press charges because he raped me. Honestly, what the fuck?!

OP posts:

Prawnlover · 31/07/2026 20:31

Esmeraldathe3rd · 31/07/2026 20:28

Yes it's complicated. He's ordered to pay the mortgage off before he gets the house transferred to him. This wasn't intended as a monthly payment, he was supposed to pay it off, over and done with. Not over a 10 year period. The mortgage payment is tiny, about a quarter of market rental value. . Until the mortgage is paid I am stuck with a mortgage and a house that affects my own finances. There is no agreement that he can live in the house in the meantime. He isn't supposed to get the house until it is paid off and in his name. He has no rights at the moment to be living in the house at all. The only reason he is able to pay for the mortgage is because the direct debit is still running from an account with my name on that he is able to pay money into. I have made zero issue of this. I have left him to it. The fact that he has then threatened ME with legal action over the fact that I haven't transferred the property to him yet, as a direct result of the fact that he hasn't paid the mortgage off is an absolute joke. I am not stopping him owning the house. But it is my house, that he has no rights to, until the mortgage is paid.

It's literally like you exchanging on a house, moving in before completion and then paying a few hundred quid a month and complaining that the sale hasn't gone through yet. It's absolutely bonkers.

I haven't complained about the house situation, but he has zero right to.

Like I haven't pressed charges on him raping me, because it's my word against his and I'm not going through that, but for him to hold that against me?! Like he's the one that can press charges because he raped me. Honestly, what the fuck?!

Show quote history

But fact is - you said he’s living In your house free of charge.

He categorically isn’t. He is paying he full mortgage on a property that will be wholly transferred to him once mortgage paid off

Prawnlover · 31/07/2026 20:33

Very odd consent order

I took on the mortgage when my husband and I divorced and the property transferred
to me then.

why on earth wasn’t the property transferred
to him as time of divorce rather than this silly thing that he ONLY gets it when mortgage paid off. Makes zero sense and
not in your interests or his interests.
illogical

Agapornis · 31/07/2026 20:47

Your name is still on the bank account, but you don't have access to it? You need to contact your bank's domestic abuse service - or make a GDPR complaint as they hold information on you that is incorrect.

Original poster

Esmeraldathe3rd · 31/07/2026 20:54

Prawnlover · 31/07/2026 20:33

Very odd consent order

I took on the mortgage when my husband and I divorced and the property transferred
to me then.

why on earth wasn’t the property transferred
to him as time of divorce rather than this silly thing that he ONLY gets it when mortgage paid off. Makes zero sense and
not in your interests or his interests.
illogical

I couldn't just transfer a mortgage from my sole name to his. And he was unable to get his own mortgage. He didn't want the house sold and split and was adamant he would be able to buy me out of it. That was nearly 5 years ago.

He is essentially buying me out of the house, just he's buying it at the value of the mortgage. Imagine you joint own a house one of you agrees to buy the other out. And then just doesn't. Just continues living in the house as though nothing happened, leaving the other stuck in limbo. Except he doesn't own any part of the house until he buys it. I own the house. The agreement is that he WILL own it, once he buys it. But he hasn't bought it, so he doesn't own it. But I'm not being a dick about it I just can't transfer a property that has a mortgage on it. There is literally nothing I can do about it.

But I'm not arguing about the financial order. And I don't know why you're fixating on my financial order from years ago. I didn't include this information in my OP as it's not what I was talking about.

OP posts:

likelysuspect · 31/07/2026 21:00

Esmeraldathe3rd · 31/07/2026 12:09

DSs dad is on an increasing schedule of contact during our court process, started with supported and he's now on one-one. (Contact originally stopped because social services though he was a danger, before what he had alternate weekends plus some extras in hols)

Last weekend was his first full day. He was 3hrs late because he forgot about it. Now I get an email off his solicitor requesting we agree outside of court 5050 shared care or they'll take me to court over 1.unrelated and 2. Completely in my favour, financial issues. Essentially threatening me that if I don't agree it'll cost me. Also threatening to take MY allegations of rape against him, further, like how? You raped me, I agreed not to press charges, what are you going to do?

I just cannot imagine being so arrogant that I would be 3 hours late to see my son and then demand shared care?! CAFCAS is not reccomeding shared care. The judge scoffed at the last hearing when he said he was insisting on shared care. In what world would I agree to that?

And honestly why would his solicitor support that, they seem like the most incompetent people I've ever met, it baffles me.

Solicitors just take instructions. They do their job

I mean lots of people are deluded, your ex sounds like one of them

Sit back and just let it all play out.

Prawnlover · 31/07/2026 21:01

But you said
“your house” … it isn’t really considering you were married, joint asset and the consent order stipulated that it will be wholly transferred to him once mortgage closed.

and he is not living in it free of charge. He is paying the mortgage

Aiming4Optimistic · 31/07/2026 21:01

You do need to get further advice on this financial situation though because it's all linked and is part of the bigger picture of him using the law to bully you. I don't get how him paying a tiny mortgage is him buying you out of the house - if it's worth a lot then he's not paying you your fair share. If both properties were solely owned by you, I don't get why he had an entitlement to either of them, married or not. You should get him out, sell the house and then pay him whatever his fair share is, not his share plus your share!

Prawnlover · 31/07/2026 21:04

Aiming4Optimistic · 31/07/2026 21:01

You do need to get further advice on this financial situation though because it's all linked and is part of the bigger picture of him using the law to bully you. I don't get how him paying a tiny mortgage is him buying you out of the house - if it's worth a lot then he's not paying you your fair share. If both properties were solely owned by you, I don't get why he had an entitlement to either of them, married or not. You should get him out, sell the house and then pay him whatever his fair share is, not his share plus your share!

But that’s not what the consent order stipulates

QuaintBeaker · 31/07/2026 21:05

Esmeraldathe3rd · 31/07/2026 20:28

Yes it's complicated. He's ordered to pay the mortgage off before he gets the house transferred to him. This wasn't intended as a monthly payment, he was supposed to pay it off, over and done with. Not over a 10 year period. The mortgage payment is tiny, about a quarter of market rental value. . Until the mortgage is paid I am stuck with a mortgage and a house that affects my own finances. There is no agreement that he can live in the house in the meantime. He isn't supposed to get the house until it is paid off and in his name. He has no rights at the moment to be living in the house at all. The only reason he is able to pay for the mortgage is because the direct debit is still running from an account with my name on that he is able to pay money into. I have made zero issue of this. I have left him to it. The fact that he has then threatened ME with legal action over the fact that I haven't transferred the property to him yet, as a direct result of the fact that he hasn't paid the mortgage off is an absolute joke. I am not stopping him owning the house. But it is my house, that he has no rights to, until the mortgage is paid.

It's literally like you exchanging on a house, moving in before completion and then paying a few hundred quid a month and complaining that the sale hasn't gone through yet. It's absolutely bonkers.

I haven't complained about the house situation, but he has zero right to.

Like I haven't pressed charges on him raping me, because it's my word against his and I'm not going through that, but for him to hold that against me?! Like he's the one that can press charges because he raped me. Honestly, what the fuck?!

Show quote history

I imagine that what they are implying is that you have made a false allegation, hence not pressing charges.
This has potential for a charge of perverting the course of justice or wasting police time.

I don't think anything would come of it if they tried. But that's probably what the threat is about

Prawnlover · 31/07/2026 21:06

QuaintBeaker · 31/07/2026 21:05

I imagine that what they are implying is that you have made a false allegation, hence not pressing charges.
This has potential for a charge of perverting the course of justice or wasting police time.

I don't think anything would come of it if they tried. But that's probably what the threat is about

Show quote history

Or a slander or libel claim

QuaintBeaker · 31/07/2026 21:06

Aiming4Optimistic · 31/07/2026 21:01

You do need to get further advice on this financial situation though because it's all linked and is part of the bigger picture of him using the law to bully you. I don't get how him paying a tiny mortgage is him buying you out of the house - if it's worth a lot then he's not paying you your fair share. If both properties were solely owned by you, I don't get why he had an entitlement to either of them, married or not. You should get him out, sell the house and then pay him whatever his fair share is, not his share plus your share!

The court has decided what his fair share is though. Maybe OP got the other house and the business?
We have no idea.

EvieBB · 31/07/2026 21:17

mindutopia · 31/07/2026 12:32

Just ignore it. You have a plan in place already. Solicitors will write any letters they’re asked. That’s how they make money. We have a dad at my dc’s school who has his solicitor write a letter to the parents of every child who upsets his precious child calling it harassment and threatening all sorts of legal ramifications if our dc won’t be friends with his. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Okay then. It’s just billable time. Ignore.

Wtaf?!!