I want to tell daughter in law to stop posing on photos

[woopdedoodle]

I know I'm being unreasonable, I know it's harmless, I know it's none of my business.

But if I see another family holiday picture where its all best profile, drinky with pinky cocked over her straw sunglasses tilted look at my boobs again I'll scream.

Or I can vent here and you can all talk me down before I say something everyone will regret.

I mean just relax, play with the kids, have fun .

The fact I was rung on day one of the school holiday cause she couldn't deal with them might be colouring my attitude to all the time spent styling, posing and collating perfect pictures must be taking. But I'm old school and my kids weren't accessories.

I do feel better now, thank you for listening.

This really is the truth of it. The younger ones in my family think the people doing all these ridiculous Insta lifestyles are absolute losers. They show us some of the photos from their social media and honestly, some of these people have lost touch with reality.

I'm grown up enough, thank you. I will choose to expend my energies on whatever I see fit 😂

Can't you just turn off the notifications

Not as embarrassing as "the man you raised picked this woman so that says something in itself" crap that you posted further up the thread

Just leave her be. What she posts has literally nothing to do with you. I've had extended family go behind my back to my DH complaining about what I post - guess what, I don't have anything to do with them anymore.

It’s fine for women to not spend every waking second around their children.

I’m sure the time spent taking a picture hasn’t drastically reduced the amount of time she spends with them. Children playing with fathers is normal.

Op what did you do/say when she rang saying she couldn't cope with the kids?

(Or have I missed that?-apologies if so.)

For those who want to know I'm 65,
And I really do just want to vent while not causing a family riff.
I'm not jealous, and I am very aware it's a need for validation.

I suppose that's my problem, there are issues, I know, I really do, I also know posing for photos like a lifestyle mag will not help. And I do worry about the affects or is it effects on the kids.
I will continue to babysit , smile , and say she looks beautiful. Which she is.
On the out side.....
OP is now cackling manically over her handy cauldron/jam pan , I do own a pointy hat, and am very glad some of you understand where I'm coming from.

Take pictures yourself of her when she's looking bored and unposed, tell her you're going to post them on line as a reality of your holiday, though I wouldn't want to holiday with such a pita.

Oh to go back to the days before socials. You may have come across the quote attributed to Hollywood actress Anna May Wong: "Every time your picture is taken you lose part of your soul." I'm going to risk being your Friday merchant of doom and say that some souls are so eradicated they've been driven to mental illness. All they know how to do is pose and stare at screens. The real them has disappeared.

Other issues aside, a phone call on the first day of the holidays to say she can't cope is worrying.

I wouldn't feed her ego by telling her she looks beautiful, if she asks for your opinion on her appearance then 'Hm, er, fine dear' might stop her begging for compliments.

I have a friend whose DD poses like this, she is a very hands on on mum but she looks ridiculous, her mum and sister always comment about how beautiful and sexy she looks. She is beautiful and has a lovely figure but spoils it with the stupid putting one leg across the other and somehow twisting.

Your social media page is your own space to share what you choose, as long as it isn't causing harm or extreme offence. You get to choose what you see, not what someone else posts. If someone's content isn't for you, you always have a choice: scroll past, mute, or unfollow.

If I find myself eyerolling, being critical of someone, tutting, etc I just click the unfollow button (or the mute button if its a family member!).

Fuck me I could not get wound up about someone posing and taking photos on holiday.

You’ve got to be a very pathetic person to let this affect your emotions in any way 🤣🤣

Dare one suggest that their father was at work, working to provide for the family? Does his job allow him time out to pose for vacuous photos while he palms his responsibilities off on another?

It's who she is. You know that. She's not going to change now. Best to do what you're doing (get along and be friendly) for the children

Drives me nuts when people pose and pout. They look ridiculous imo. I'm around your age @woopdedoodle. Maybe it's a generational thing?

Dare anyone suggest that women also work to provide for their family?

Where has OP given the impression of being fixated on it? She sounds quite the opposite tbh

OP I’m with you 100%. She sounds vacuous and exhausting. I hate being in photos and only ever take them of my DD who thankfully, only smiles.

I don't have any photos of my mum and dad on days out we all took. That's sadder than posed photos.

Im very privacy conscious and post no photos and never have.
But I think fixating on somebody elses photos is weird who cares if they are 'drinky pinky' whatever that is.

binning the kids off? what does that even mean?

I felt the same about a woman I went to school with who filled her Facebook page with so many photos of her doing pole dancing - or 'constant tragic attention seeking' VERY thinly disguised as 'exercise' as I preferred to term it - that I soon unfriended her so I didn't have to look at her crotch shots every time I opened the app.

I don't mind a selfie but constant preening over one's self-image is tedious and self-obsessed.

I don't understand the finger thing