I want to tell daughter in law to stop posing on photos

[woopdedoodle]

I know I'm being unreasonable, I know it's harmless, I know it's none of my business.

But if I see another family holiday picture where its all best profile, drinky with pinky cocked over her straw sunglasses tilted look at my boobs again I'll scream.

Or I can vent here and you can all talk me down before I say something everyone will regret.

I mean just relax, play with the kids, have fun .

The fact I was rung on day one of the school holiday cause she couldn't deal with them might be colouring my attitude to all the time spent styling, posing and collating perfect pictures must be taking. But I'm old school and my kids weren't accessories.

I do feel better now, thank you for listening.

Well, I don't like this sort of posing and more generaly the current trend for Insta-obsessiveness.. However, unless you are the one taking the photographs, I don't think you can tell her how to appear in them (and even if you are, you can only make suggestions),

I think the issue is a much deeper than a few 'holiday photos'. It's the fact that these people are totally fixated on projecting an image/lifestyle to other people that they just become so incredibly boring and insecure. Their fixation interferes with real life hence the kids become a nuisance to them, except of course when they're using the kids for content of course.

See my husband looks like he does all the fun stuff. But that’s because I take the photos he doesn’t so there are not photos of me and the children playing.

If I didn’t take photos none would get taken.

Snap, I watched Bridget Jones and thought she's fat, it wasn't okay to have an arse in the nineties. I look back at the photos of me then and think wow I slim and thought I was fat!!

I get it, I find it really cringe. I have a couple of people on social media and their posts just rile me (for different reasons from this) and I found muting them was quite therapeutic and not quite as aggressive as blocking or unfriending or whatever it is called.

To bin something off... is to ditch it.
Common turn of phrase that a quick Google would have clarified for you.

@Suszieq "you sound (as do others) very jealous and archaic and you need a bigger world …or some hobbies to focus on."

The OP needs a bigger world when her DIL is Insta-obsessed! I mean, that's a bit rich. And at 65 years old I doubt very, very much that she's remotely jealous or has any desire to project some kind of "perfect", pouting image. As for archaic, there are loads of people who feel exactly the same as the OP. As you can tell from the vast majority of comments.

it was sarcasm, Einstein. 🙄
The OP has not explained the situation around the holidays, so the commenter has ZERO idea of whether the kids were 'binned off' (and we can bet the house that phrase wouldnt be said about a man)

You really have no idea that her kids are “nuisance” to her.

If the OP was concerned about her husbands son’s kids due to their mother she would have started a thread about that. But she hasn’t. She started the thread about “posing”. Absolutely pathetic.

Yes I do. It will be interesting to see how you twist this. I will predict you'll blame the husband.

The fact I was rung on day one of the school holiday cause she couldn't deal with them

Blame the husband for what exactly? WTF you on about? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

It's your choice, but I think the DIL has a better idea.

Her kids will have photos of their mums, yours won't.
Might as well take photos, but making sure you like them?

It's possible to take a reasonable amount of photos, quick snaps and that's it. It doesn't mean taking 800 selfies and neglecting your children.

I am too old for selfies 😂, but I take them with my kids. They are not happy about it, but they sure wouldn't tolerate more than 1 or 2

It wasn't sarcasm...if it was it was a piss-poor attempt. .I think you need to look that up as well.
I'm pretty sure a bloke WOULD have been accused of binning his kids off actually...
DiL called OP struggling with the kids on day 1 of the school holidays. Hence binning them off 🙄

Oh the leg thing. How stupid is that!

Don't get me started on the 'cheeky' either. Time for a 'cheeky 'drink' drives me insane.

Different generation. Sounds totally normal and sweet. If she can't call you when she needs help then who can she call. I do think this your problem.

Have you read the OP?

The issue is explained pretty clearly. What don’t you understand?

I can't understand why seeing ONE photo of a young woman can be so irritating 😂

It's not just about the photo, is it.

It sounds like you don't like her and that's ok. Judging her by one moment in a photo though is a bit harsh.

You can unfollow someone on facebook and still be friends. Then you can choose whether or not to see her content.

This kinda thing confirms my beliefs step families are often (not always) hell

The fact that you haven't muted her or unfollowed her quietly and without fuss just shows you enjoy the drama, OP.

She sounds like a fully paid up member of the OMG generation. How ghastly. I hope your grand children have more about them.

I love all the people claiming this woman must be an awful person, an awful mother, advising OP to never help her ever again. Literally batshit.

I think on an anonymous forum it’s ok to admit that there are petty things that you find irritating.

Clearly, in the grand scheme of things, someone else’s obsession with creating perfect photos is inconsequential. You can accept that but still find it irritating 😂

I think it’s a reflection of where society is at today, the need to look perfect even if it’s fake - hence the popularity of filters.

If I were feeling kind OP, I’d tell her that my favourite photos of her are the natural unposed ones. I’d tell her that when she’s captured when she’s unaware and playing with the kids, it shows her natural warmth and beauty far more than any posed photo. It might make her think, doubt it, but you never know.

But if all of this is just taking place on her own FB page, then I’d just mute her so you don’t have to see the photos pop up and can go and catch up at your leisure. I find that’s way less annoying than being bombarded with posed, filtered photos every time you open the app.

I find that the people who post the picture perfect instagram pictures actually have the worst time behind the scenes in reality. It's all fake.

Well, duh! That’s why the OP posted, isn’t it?

She is in a family relationship with someone she finds deeply irritating. It’s a crucial relationship so she can’t do what most of us would do with an annoying person and just walk away.

Not the most earth-shattering problem in history, as OP readily admits, but one that’s winding her up!