I want to tell daughter in law to stop posing on photos

[woopdedoodle]

I know I'm being unreasonable, I know it's harmless, I know it's none of my business.

But if I see another family holiday picture where its all best profile, drinky with pinky cocked over her straw sunglasses tilted look at my boobs again I'll scream.

Or I can vent here and you can all talk me down before I say something everyone will regret.

I mean just relax, play with the kids, have fun .

The fact I was rung on day one of the school holiday cause she couldn't deal with them might be colouring my attitude to all the time spent styling, posing and collating perfect pictures must be taking. But I'm old school and my kids weren't accessories.

I do feel better now, thank you for listening.

For all the people saying "what harm does it do?". Have a read of the current hen party thread where the OP is being asked to get her arse out in a thong bikini on the hen do. According to the bride it "par for the course" and she's being so very silly to not want to do this. This is the selfie brigade on special occasions.

What's your issue?

That she's taking 500 selfies a day instead of playing with her kids?
Not taking photos of her kids, just photos of herself?

Or simply does she happen to strike poses on photos because she wants to look great on them, the same way some women put on make-up before going to the beach or the pool. I have heard disparaging comments about make-up on holidays, who the hell would even care about that!

Same with the photos.

It's not just the young ones that do it. I have a friend in her 50s that is exactly the same, so much so that I have distanced myself from her now (along with other reasons!).
Every single evening out, lunch, coffee meet up had to be posed for to post on Instagram. It became ridiculous. She would always try and insist that we all had the same cocktail so she could do one of those stupid cheers boomerang things. My Diet Coke with a slice of lime spoiled the 'look' somewhat.😂

Oh for god sake, just mute the Facebook page 🙄
You are judging her for a second of her day (taking one photo) when you haven’t seen anything else of her day! Maybe she has been playing with the kids all morning and took a few mins for a break whilst her husband took over and she took a selfie, and god forbid she smiles and poses for a nice picture 🙄
YOU have the problem so stop judging and stop watching her Facebook page

You sound a little resentful ? Or dare I say jealous

It is indeed unstable, which is why they will be hanging into an adjacent piece of furniture (out of shot, of course. )

Ignore, ignore and don't look.
It's like a sickness with some people who have to post everything they bloody do and think on social media .

One person I noticed the other day even.informung everyone the other day she was on her period. Just no. Stop over sharing. Get help.

Pathetic and the truth is nobody really cares about her meet ups and drinks etc apart from her and the people who are there.

Do we know the same person?!?!? Because I know someone who did this on her holiday whilst also announcing she was going for a run very recently it was absolutely cringe

I know someone who posts nothing but skimpy workout videos and photos, suggestive cleavage filled pictures, bikini shots, videos of herself singing in the studio (shes in her 40s and is not a singer) and filtered pics all day every day

In real life shes absolutely miserable and screaming out for validation

Its sad really.

When did women stop believing they are worth more than Facebook likes and comments

This kinda thing confirms my beliefs step families are often (not always) hell

I have to laugh at the voting and the comments. If it was a daughter in law complaining of her MIL, she'd be ripped to shreds. Yabu and stop moaning.

👏👏
Agree
Can't imagine being like that to my grown up child's partner!
So bloody what if she poses on IG or FB some pictures?
Just be a grown up and mute her or just roll your eyes and scroll on.
You don't sound like you like her. Feel sorry for her, you sound hard work (and bitchy coming to an online forum to slag her off behind her back and behind an anonymous username(

We've just had got back from holiday and I was cringing at the amount of women pissing about like this for photos instead of just smiling and then getting on with having fun. It was literally embarrassing to watch in some cases!
And I'm completely with the pp who said about the shots where they're looking away into the distance as if unaware then grabbing the phone, checking the snap and then demanding it be taken again....and again....ffs 🤢

God yes I'm with you. Ofcourse you can't say anything, but know others feel the same 😉

Damn, this is extreme jealously. Calm down OP (and others in this thread too, by the looks of it!).

Posing in pictures oh no. Must be terrible people!

What in the world.

Surely these are types of thoughts that only really come up when we dislike a person (to any degree) or are in possession of lingering internalised misogyny, based on some of the things you're picking on.

I'm sure she does play with her kids throughout the day as the primary carer of them, and doubt that the few seconds it takes to snap a picture meaningfully eats into that. I'm not sure why you would need to say anything at all about something somebody is doing in their own life that isn't any of your business and doesn't affect you or why you would be so riled up you'd need to be talked down. Childcare is a separate issue, if you don't want to help with the children, then don't. Where is the father over the school holidays?

Don't get me wrong, I've got zero interest in taking pictures of myself and never do but it's fairly normal isn't it, these days.

Nooooo don’t say anything !!!
You’ll destroy your relationship, it’s a different generation - I wouldn’t even comment if it were my daughter never mind DIL.
Grin and bear it!!!!

Dreadful. Just don't read anymore .
.

Aw hun, worried that not everyone posting hearts on your IG posts or saying 'stunning' on your weirdly posed photos really thinks you're as stunning as you think you are?

Must be tough.

Post something today about 'haters just need to scroll on' and 'I'm being my authentic fabulous self, haters need not look'

But sadly, most people think you're embarrassing yourself but just ignore the Karens hun, carry on posting pics of you staring into the sunset in your outfit from Shein. You're a Kween!

This is embarrassing.

that sort of thing does my head in too.

It's insecurities, she is struggling with life and getting the perfect pictures on social media helps her give the illusion that she has it all together. Since realising this I've found these kinds of posts a lot less annoying. They come off as confident and self assured but they are often the opposite of that.

I get it @woopdedoodle

The fact that you have come on to MN to vent means that you know you can’t/won’t say anything to DIL. You just want a space to vent about something that really annoys you.

Perhaps there is a part of you that feels that the dgc are young for only a short amount of time and your DIL wastes precious family time with silly selfies. I get it because rightly or wrongly, I might feel the same if it were my DIL or SIL.

I don't think you're really upset about the pictures specifically (and if you are, just stay off socials for a bit-if she complains she's not getting your likes, say you needed a detox).
It's fine to set boundaries about babysitting for your family, and if you really feel she's not looking after the kids, obviously you should follow that up.
There have always been performative mums, but pre social media, it wasn't as obvious. I have things the other way round, with an in-law who loves posting pretending they're the world's best (not specifying which relative) but hardly sees us and never babysits even in emergencies.
I just say I don't want my kids all over socials, but you can't really do this (safeguarding aside). All you can do is think about the experts warning us that this generation are ging to be really angry with their parents for all their posts.