I want to tell daughter in law to stop posing on photos

[woopdedoodle]

I know I'm being unreasonable, I know it's harmless, I know it's none of my business.

But if I see another family holiday picture where its all best profile, drinky with pinky cocked over her straw sunglasses tilted look at my boobs again I'll scream.

Or I can vent here and you can all talk me down before I say something everyone will regret.

I mean just relax, play with the kids, have fun .

The fact I was rung on day one of the school holiday cause she couldn't deal with them might be colouring my attitude to all the time spent styling, posing and collating perfect pictures must be taking. But I'm old school and my kids weren't accessories.

I do feel better now, thank you for listening.

My cousins are beautiful and make sure they are with added extras, always perfect hair, personal trainer, bit of botox and filler. They have the same pose in every picture which shows then to the best angle, and the same weird mouth shape where their tongue is on the roof of their mouth to give a more chiseled under chin, I think it's called mewing but can't be sure lol.

It's a shame as there are so many pics of them where their kids are laughing uproariously and they're like zoolander but it is what it is, and they're great parents tbf. Just look copy and pasted into every pic.

it has absolutely nothing to do with you how she stands in a photograph. Your irritation is your own problem and of course you shouldn’t burden her with your snide irritations relating to that.
if you aren’t a safe space for her to vent to when she’s feeling overwhelmed with the children, you should definitely find a way to let her know where she stands with you.

👏👏👏

Your son is obviously married to the „vacuous poser“ so that must count for something. Do you really think her children are accessories to your DIL? I think it’s fair to say you’re from a much older generation and she sounds quite young but your also two very different women.

@Marroon You must be one of those posing 😂

It’s a need for constant validation. It’s depressing. It shows how insecure so many young people are, which is the fault of all of us, not just the young people who do it.

It's not my vibe but your judgmental attitude isn't my vibe either.

"My kids weren't accessories".

I hate that smug 'I'm a better mother than this woman' or 'I'm so much loftier than people who use social media' nonsense as much as you hate women posting selfies.

Horses for courses and all that.

How embarrassing for you when you’re doing the cringy poses you obviously do

This is embarrassing.

Someone having a differing opinion doesn't automatically mean they do 'cringey poses'.

A little maturity goes a long way.

I think you should ask her to send you some photos of the children see what she picks out. See if you can try to understand why she feels the need to take staged photographs rather than take spontaneous snaps of her children. Does she think these are nice photos of her, what else does she take photos of, is photography her hobby, does she organise them into albums, dies she ever deleted any, does she use filters , or is it simply because all her friends do this?,

Are you in the north west footballers wives belt? I think we may know the same person 😂

I know people in their 40s who do this! Every single photo with the kissy face and filtered so much their skin is as smooth as my 11 year old.

What drives me mad is when intelligent, independent women pose for photos with their toes turned in, head cocked to the side with a soppy smile. Trying to look coy? Dunno.

The ops second post said she was 40.

At least she's not pouting in every photo (I hope?) because that gives me the absolute rage.

This sort of photo is irritating, OP - but I have a sneaky feeling you wouldn't be so bothered if she was a caring person and not a self-absorbed wanker?

What makes you say that? A mother who had kids at 18 and 20 would have school aged kids at 24 and I would still consider that young.

It’s annoying definitely but I can’t help but think that this sort of thing is all about validation and self esteem. People who are secure and confident tend not to feel the need to constantly post about themselves and what fabulous people/parents they are. If you reframe this as an issue of low self esteem you might find you feel differently about it and about her.

I think its sad that in 20 years times so many kids will be looking back at family photos all with their mum doing silly sexy pouts and poses, peace sign, all filtered and all identical. The dog ear and tongue one is the worst

No carefree pictures at all.

My DH cousin is 28. She does the "one leg a little forward and toes pointed" pose on every photo. Her sister is dying of terminal cancer and she wanted a photo of her, my dh & her sister whilst she can still stand. DH is an only child but his cousins were like his sisters growing up. I stood back to take it and his cousin said "AMY (not her name) don't be doing that stupid fkin thing with your foot or I won't be in it" 🤣

Then you will have something else to complain about.

Ordinary people getting access to creating their own fan clubs must have an appeal, I suppose...

Live and let live op!

What you’re seeing is a small snapshot of their holiday. Your step-son is the ‘fun dad’ in these pics but is he pulling his weight in other aspects of the holiday? Did he plan it, buy the kids clothes, pack for the kids, do online check-in to make sure they were all sitting together, pack all the kids devices (charged and with pre downloaded things to watch!) for the plane, unpack at the other end? Does he make sure they have sun cream on, sit in the shade at peak sun hours, ensure they are drinking enough water and eating something semi sensible every so often? Or has / is she doing all that and taking a small break while they play in the pool to take some pictures of herself that make her feel good?

Who knows, but judgement reigns on MumsNet and you seem like a treat as a MiL. If her posing is all you have to worry about I’d say you’re doing pretty well in life! Leave the poor woman alone.

She’s 40

The two things are unrelated. Yes, it’s annoying to look at when people are like this but of course you can’t say anything, just vent in here or to likeminded friends / family. The childcare issue is completely separate. People that struggle to look after the kids are still allowed to pose and be a bit fake, if you don’t want to take care of them then say no.

I write this as someone that finds my own immediate family’s posts on social media seriously vomit inducing by the way.