Hi everyone, I really need some outside perspective on a family situation because I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.
My parents kindly paid for a family holiday abroad for us all (them, myself, my daughter "DD", my sister "DSIS", and her kids). The whole fallout on the holiday actually started because DSIS’s daughter ("Niece") was caught out in a lie about me. Rather than handling it sensibly, DSIS completely exploded. She spent the rest of the trip causing scenes, storming off, moving sunbeds away from everyone, and bad-mouthing people. She even started bad-mouthing my own child.
Despite how provoking and malicious that was, I refused to engage or react. I stayed completely unbothered, ignored the drama, and focused entirely on making sure DD had a great time playing in the pool (along with any other kids who joined us). The only thing I ever said to the kids was a simple suggestion to play nicely or find something else to play when they were bickering.
When we got home, my mum sent me a huge, scathing text dragging both me and DSIS into "two grown women acting like playground children" and accusing us of selfishly ruining the holiday for her and my dad. Mum said they were left with a big bill to pay, said they were done doing things for us, and told us we should both feel "totally ashamed" of ourselves.
I was heartbroken. I am nothing but supportive of my parents, constantly go out of my way to help them, and they even call my husband their son. I deliberately stayed out of the drama to keep the peace, yet I’ve been thrown under the bus as if I single-handedly ruined the trip. I even told them I’d pay back every penny of the holiday once my pay rise comes through later this year, as the cost is clearly being used as a weapon.
Since that initial text exchange, DSIS has offered a quick apology to Mum, and now everything is magically forgotten. Mum is expecting me to just apologize too and fall in line, completely sweeping under the carpet the outright insults, false accusations, and utter lack of support when my own child was being bad-mouthed. There has been zero recognition or acknowledgment of how unfairly I’ve been treated. I have tried reaching out to mum about how I feel and was ignored, and mum is now going on with our relationship as if nothing was said or done both on and after the holiday.
The easier thing to do would definitely be to move on, pretend it never happened, and ignore how deeply hurt I feel. But is that actually the right thing to do here? Or am I just accepting the role of family scapegoat?
AIBU to stand my ground and refuse to pretend this is all fine? How would you handle this?