To not understand the cost of living crisis?

[tiggerbouncy]

Fully prepared to be told I’m being tone deaf here.

Before I start I want to caveat this and say I live in the North and I am comparing to other Northerners, as I know the South is a bit of a different ball game.

I earn less than the national average salary. I have recently had my biggest ever pay rise which has put me on 25k for 35 hrs a week. My partner is on similar but has a lower hourly wage (works more hours though). In total our household income is approx 45-50k ish?

We own our home (via mortgage) and we paid for the deposit with no family help.

We go on at least one or two foreign holidays a year and frequently enjoy meals out and day trips to different places.

We have two cats (one of whom has needed very expensive vet treatment) and soil them rotten.

A lot of my peers constantly moan that the cost of living being so high is trapping them either at home with parents, renting, not being able to go on holidays etc etc. Basically, I’ve had a few comments recently about our lifestyle being really hard to achieve and how it’s unfair we enjoy so much.

I just think that we have put our money into things we enjoy (ie holidays) and obviously don’t have children. But I genuinely don’t find like difficult? If our washing machine breaks we buy a new one, if the car needs work we pay etc. We both saved from having full time jobs out of sixth form in order to fund out deposit (again, big bonus of being northern I know!) but our mortgage payments are easily manageable etc.

I’m not suggesting that the world has our circumstances, but a lot of my peers either earn more than me or the same and moan they can’t do anything!

AIBU to think it’s about how you prioritise life and that “cost of living” isn’t an excuse for just being poor with money?

Again, I’m not saying that a single mum in London with 5 kids has the same options or anything like that, I’m meaning in our specific situation. Lots of people moan we earn nothing but to me it feels like quite a lot!

I also see loads of people on here moaning their 100k salary doesn’t go far anymore and they’re missing out on things. If I made 100k I’d be planning to retire in about 5 years!!

The "North" of which country?

Just thinking, no parents is also a financial gain like no children.
Many are dealing with care costs for aging parents and children.

For low earners living in the North really helps. Minimum wages are the same but houses are a fraction of the cost. Don't worry Burnham wants us all to move up North so house prices will be going up to level things out.

A lot of it is likely to be the mortgage. If you bought decades ago you'll have had an easier ride of it than people buying now, because house prices keep going up at a faster rate relative to wages. To buy the same property now their mortgage would be a lot more.

Renting can be astronomical too in some places and that's the real killer to saving for a lot of people.

People are being awful if they're telling you it's "unfair" you can afford your lifestyle, what's unfair about it? You're spending money you've earned! That's pure jealousy on their part.

I've found that a lot of people stay living in the family home too long. They've got all these criteria like refusing to rent, refusing to flat share, refusing to buy a one bedroom flat, refusing to live in the less nice area of town, refusing to live in a cheaper town, refusing to commute to work from somewhere they can afford to live.

They're getting cheap or free bed and board from parents, being treated as an adult that's closer to a housemate than a child living at home, having partners stay over regularly, often living in nice area and nice house, sometimes saving a little but basically living the life of their dreams all except for the place not being theirs.

So they think they "can't afford" to move out because what it is is they're unwilling to do the young, broke and scraping by phase of life. They think they should be able to bypass it because that's what they see on social media where youngsters either have very good jobs, family wealth or their channel blew up and they're making a decent living from it. Reality that they refuse to acknowledge is that they won't move out because they don't want to give up their current lifestyle which they've gotten used to by living with parents so long.

They end up doing one of two things IME, moving out and bitching that they have no money and can't get by (because they've gone for fancier options that they can't really afford) or continuing to live with parents and spend their money on things other than rent or mortgage. They also run up debts, everything from car finance to thousands on credit cards, the complain there's too much month left at the end of the money.

I've been incredibly broke before now, but I've still managed to go on foreign holidays, own pets, have a car, do an expensive sport etc because I've done everything on a shoestring and prioritised the things that were most important to me, doing without a lot of things that others would have considered essential. The one thing I made sure I never had was debt.

Everyone has different outgoings. But assuming not in lots of debt, a couple in the north of England on 50k combined should be able to save for a deposit yes. Some people don’t prioritise saving over living, and everyone is different. Some are paying out loads on car loans, buying lots of clothes, expensive holidays. When you’re on a good income, cheap area, no kids, and no debt, yes you should be able to afford to save 10k for a deposit. If you’re not in that situation, you’re not prioritising. Some people save what’s left over, but you need to budgeting and moving money into savings on pay day.

He would need to move or create jobs for that brain fart to have a prayer of succeeding

I've been a teacher all my life (47 years), but only 11 in the UK to be eligible for the TP. Retired on the state superannuation and TP, DH on Navy pension of 12 years plus state, a rental property and no mortgage, we can afford to eat meat once a week. Mince, not steak. We live largely off what we can grow in our garden. The reality is that life is becoming unaffordable. I simply don't know how young families today cope. We give support to a couple of families who can't afford winter coats and shoes for their kids, and my heart truly bleeds for the people who are suffering badly from the escalating food prices and unaffordable rents.It's all so unfair.

So you have two state pensions, several small private pensions a rental property and no mortgage. That gives you an income of £12k +£12k plus at least £6k. £30k between two.

How can life be so expensive for you? I have less than that, now retired, still have a teen son at home and don't struggle at all. Are you in the UK?

I think you have saved well and basically have cut your cloth accordingly with a bit left over for holidays/if the washer breaks. I can understand what you’re saying OP. It’s more complicated than that though. Sometimes people are unexpectedly out of work and they don’t have savings so they’re going to get in a pickle, people with children have costs that they can’t just stop/cut out, lots of people are working hard and on paper it seems like they earn lots but they don’t have spare money or can’t make ends meet. And there are lots of other examples.

I do think living in the north has huge financial advantages - I’m not even In the south but a 4 bed detached in a “nice” area here is £450k minimum. My sibling in the both east a larger house in an equally nice area is £100k cheaper minimum

that being said OP you are ridiculously naive about the cost of living when you don’t have kids. In your current wages the both of you wouldn’t be able to afford the childcare fees alone

I agree with you.

(and lots of people on here aren't good at reading posts).

I think a lot of it is having a frugal mentality. Some people are just terrible with money.

I'm in the South East and I know those that always moan about COL but they're so frivolous with money. Buying lunch every day, lots of take aways, coffee out, constantly buying clothes etc... But they think this is a normal way of life.

Go back 40 years and coffee out was a treat, lunch was a pack up, take away was a luxury, clothes were actually far more expensive so we're bought to last years.

I think if a lot of people looked at their spending and evaluated what was frivolous, they'd have far more spare cash.

Mentalities have changed. People are far more 'want' than they used to be.

I think the problem is that the press and media talk in absolutes, so everyone is struggling , everyone is cutting back, all businesses are struggling. Meanwhile I’m trying to meet my husband for a brew in one of the many cafes in my town on a Tuesday and cannot find a table as it’s so busy.

we are also told we need more stuff so cars for example, I rarely see a really old clapped out car being driven by a teenager just having passed their test. My local gym mine is one of the cheapest cars and its frequented by quite young people all with expensive cars , I earn about £95k and an in an old fiat 500 but I don’t get excited by cars thank goodness.

So op is probably right about her and her social circle but not right about the loads of people who don’t have fancy cars or spend frivolous amounts on crap but who are struggling. But saying that two things can be true isn’t very popular, much better to be toady and get a big reaction.

Single parent of teens. Lower income than you. In the last couple of months my bills shot up - £40/month for car insurance for a learner driver, £40/month for gas/electric.

My food bill used to be £70 a week a couple of years ago, now I'm lucky if it's under £100.

Petrol has shot up. I'm a taxi service for my kids and work increased the number of days in the office, so I'm using more petrol.

You are what is called DINK - double income, no kids. You have no idea.

Why are you coming on MUMsnet, talking about how your life is easy because you have no children? Oh it's a goady post.

Before we had kids I felt rich too. Also NE.

3 kids later, bigger mortgage to put them all
somewhere. Bigger car. We are crippled (only in the past couple of years before those who start with the why did you have so many children comments)

A holiday can cost £5k in the school holidays for a family of 5. That would be a huge chunk of your wages. Its not easy.

You can in Hull but there might not be the jobs.

I agree. I’m surprised the op has such a narrow view of the world, or even the uk. Even the north.

my daughter is buying her first home, in Manchester, which according to burnham is the north, it’s a mid terrace property, the price is 600k. Yes it’s a choice and they can afford it, but really low cost areas tend to have limited job opportunities and low salaries to match.

on the ops and her husbands wages, they can only afford to live in locations like they do, can’t afford child care, and if one of them quit work to stay home, they’d be skint.

they can’t move away, without finding signficantly more lucrative employment, and so are effectively trapped.

Because MN is not only for people with children. And the OP’s point is about her friends who also don’t have children.

Maybe your friends didnt start saving so young or spent thee savings on uni so there start point was a couple of years later.

It makes a big difference being in a stable couple too with an aim. Perhaps some of your friends are not actually wanting to tie themselves down just yet so say 'cost of living" over im not sure i eant a financial tie to him yet ...

Renting can trap you into not being able to save as well so even a couple of more years renting can just change the landscape there as rents go up.

But yes ultimately people with same income, no kids, same area can just have different priorities and small differences in lifestyle make a difference. You can both be running a car but one car costs more to run, both go on holiday but that location is twice as much, both eat out but that restaurant is more expensive and they had pudding, both wear clothes but that brand is more and you bought two. On face value the lives are hardly different at all.

I live in the north. The cost of living is felt massively in every day things such as the food shop.

You live in a relatively cheap part, housing wise, of the UK. You’re both in receipt of a reasonable income for that area. You haven’t got children.

It’s not rocket science 🤷‍♀️

Try living in some Southern areas, on that income, with a couple of kids - then you will understand why some people struggle.

I do get what you are saying op, I lived in the midlands and two people on minimum wage at 35/40 hours a week can make the mortgage payments on a typical 2/3 bed terraced house even a semi on an ex council estate. It’s a different situation where I now live where that budget only gets you an over 60’s retirement flat with horrific monthly charges. That said my dd is buying a house currently, alone in her 20’s with no help from me, saved up the deposit and earns a decent wage, not in London though not crazy city salary either, far too niche to discuss.

I am working class and live in the north. Dh amd i earn around 75k between us and are comfortable. As are most of the people we know . We earn enough to pay our bills, do an abroad holiday a year, fix anything in our house, have hobbies, do a few mini breaks a year. We try to save a few hundred each month. My children who are in their twenties own their own houses and can afford to go out and have holidays hobbies etc

That’s not to say that’s the case for everyone .

@Boreded you can in the ne, you can buy 2-3 houses in some places. Jobs … not so much

Can’t be fucked reading the thread or even your further updates because you don’t have children. Most people are flush with cash when child free. Children cost a fucking fortune. You also have cats, they cost naff all. Your mortgage will be lower than rent. You do live in the north where costs are lower. You pull in 45k ish between you and can just prioritise yourselves with it. Of course you don’t feel the pinch. You’re tone deaf.