To not understand the cost of living crisis?

[tiggerbouncy]

Fully prepared to be told I’m being tone deaf here.

Before I start I want to caveat this and say I live in the North and I am comparing to other Northerners, as I know the South is a bit of a different ball game.

I earn less than the national average salary. I have recently had my biggest ever pay rise which has put me on 25k for 35 hrs a week. My partner is on similar but has a lower hourly wage (works more hours though). In total our household income is approx 45-50k ish?

We own our home (via mortgage) and we paid for the deposit with no family help.

We go on at least one or two foreign holidays a year and frequently enjoy meals out and day trips to different places.

We have two cats (one of whom has needed very expensive vet treatment) and soil them rotten.

A lot of my peers constantly moan that the cost of living being so high is trapping them either at home with parents, renting, not being able to go on holidays etc etc. Basically, I’ve had a few comments recently about our lifestyle being really hard to achieve and how it’s unfair we enjoy so much.

I just think that we have put our money into things we enjoy (ie holidays) and obviously don’t have children. But I genuinely don’t find like difficult? If our washing machine breaks we buy a new one, if the car needs work we pay etc. We both saved from having full time jobs out of sixth form in order to fund out deposit (again, big bonus of being northern I know!) but our mortgage payments are easily manageable etc.

I’m not suggesting that the world has our circumstances, but a lot of my peers either earn more than me or the same and moan they can’t do anything!

AIBU to think it’s about how you prioritise life and that “cost of living” isn’t an excuse for just being poor with money?

Again, I’m not saying that a single mum in London with 5 kids has the same options or anything like that, I’m meaning in our specific situation. Lots of people moan we earn nothing but to me it feels like quite a lot!

I also see loads of people on here moaning their 100k salary doesn’t go far anymore and they’re missing out on things. If I made 100k I’d be planning to retire in about 5 years!!

I live in the northeast, like literally the cheapest place ever for someone to live, and even here you cannot buy a ‘nice’ starter home for 100-150k 🤦‍♀️

You don’t have children- so that’s the majority of your answer?

Why?

To be fair some of it is the obvious

1. No kids
2. Living in the north

But also

3. Having a partner

We also live North and totally agree at least where we are you could if you could save about £15k you could get yourself a mortgage on a little starter home, but on a £25k salary even on that starter home wouldn’t be a particularly nice standard of living. £140k purchase price with 10% deposit has monthly payments at about £700, stick council tax on top of that, utilities, insurances, TV/wifi, any car/public transport costs, that could easily be another £500, and then you have to put your food shopping in as well… you wouldn’t have much left from your take home pay at all just for the roof over your head and food on the table.

Ok, so you take home around £3,600 a month between you then? How much do you think someone on £100k takes home? I’ll tell you - £5,700. A decent amount but if you’re paying £2k in nursery fees, £2k mortgage, £600 season ticket, £400 council tax etc it’s surely not that tricky to work out why COL is an issue even for people earning higher than average salaries.

Do you really not moan about the cost of supermarket shopping, petrol, travel, insurance etc? Everyone I know does. Lucky you.

So your 1m2 of the UK? Right. Carry on.

So here a morgage of 350k would be 1700 a month and 20400 a year. Plus its over 2k a year council tax....

Kids, im paying 1k a year bus fayre.
About 400 a year lunches...

Suppose depends on how much your mortgage

If I lived by myself or with a partner I would be there saying "what cost of living crisis"

As it is I'm a single parent with two kids

This means I need to maintain a house big enough for two children

I need to buy all there clothes

I need to provide them with food...they eat a lot

Provide entertainment, day trips all add up

I also have them 24/7 and my ex refuses to work so no maintenance

It comes down to your personal circumstances,

My biggest cost is just having a house big enough for my kids to live in as well

(My ex has to do none of those things so their costs are a lot lower)

Children cost me the equivalent of a second mortgage a month, that’s where the shortfall is of your lifestyle compares to others

I got stuck on:"had jobs in 6th form and saved from there. " My 6th form wages paid for clothes and nights out. I'm in the north too.

But also, you've had the advantage of 2 wages from the start.

My kids reckon they're moving out ASAP on whatever wages they earn. My first post uni wages were enough to keep me on a tiny 1 bed flat, with v little left over after bills. Rent was£400 per month. That was back in early 00s. When I moved in with future dh, we felt rich.

Then we bought a house and felt less rich.

Then we had 2 kids and are currently enjoying a couple of years of teen respite before uni starts for them. I have no idea how they'll afford to move out; if they can even find jobs.

You’re in a couple which makes a huge difference. One person on 50K has less income than two people on 25K. Your combined income is going to be approximately £3400 a month (depending on pension contributions and any student loan repayments). I earn 68K and my take home is £3900. Only £500 more than yours.

You’ve both clearly been ‘good’ with money and only had to save a small deposit to buy a house. You don’t have kids to pay for. Private rent is astronomical and often significantly more than equivalent mortgage payments.

Don’t be smug, you’re one illness or injury away from knowing what it’s like to be strapped for cash.

I need to provide them with food...they eat a lot

And the cost of food has gone up so much. I was going to buy a normal size pack of mince today but the supermarket I was in was charging £7.50. I could afford it, but frankly for that cost it isn’t worth it. But if someone has fussy children and that’s what they’ll eat, you have to get it.

I live in the south and am planning a move to
North Yorkahire (was supposed to be this year but the logistics didn't pan out).

Having done my research (divorced, 50, adult DD at uni, similar salary as work term time only)...virtually everything is cheaper in the North. Obviously I could half my mortgage (or even get rid of it entirely I was lucky/prepared to really compromise); council tax would be about 2/3 of what I'm currently paying; gym membership (not that I can afford one currently) £25-50 a month cheaper. When I've been visiting Yorkshire over the last few years I've found public transport cheaper and more reliable, parking cheaper in most places, eating out/takeaways slightly cheaper.

I live in an ok part of the south coast, but there's so much more to do at low cost in Yorkshire, and I think the outlook is different - I may be wrong as obviously I don't live there (yet) but overarchingly my experience is that people seem more content with what that have.

Fucking hell… I’m a single mother to 2 in the north east.. I am struggling and relying on food banks… some days I don’t even have a pound for a loaf of bread or pint of milk.. hope that helps

My mortgage has gone from £2-3k with the rise in interest rates. I live in a very ordinary looking mid-terrace house.

One nursery place costs me £2.3k. Three years ago it was more like £1.8k.

That’s the entirety of a £100k salary after tax, NI, student loan and pension.

It is a bit exasperating for just these two costs to have increased by £1.5k a month. A 40% increase.

Good for you OP, sounds like you’ve got a strong grip of your finances.

Are you happy in a starter home forever? If we lived in our starter home without children we would be rolling in it, but also pretty unchallenged and unmotivated really. If it works for you great, it’s likely not enough for everybody who have stretched themselves to achieve different goals in life.

Long may it continue for you both if it works and your happy.

Go north - that’s what I say 😃 Good on you OP, cutting your cloth etc etc …

Did you live with your parents while saving for a deposit?

I wouldn't be bragging about earning £25k like it's a lot. DS started his working career on 10% more.

My youngest is 18 and is starting a degree apprenticeship where they start, and yes I mean starts on £32k

My DH is on triple what your household income is.

I agree.
We live in the North West. I earn 32000 and my husband less (he is a 24 hour a week supermarket worker).
We rent.
All the bills are paid, we run 2 cars and are heading off for our 3rd holiday abroad this year at the weekend.
Do I grumble about the price of the weekly shop? Hell Yes. Do we go without? No.

I started to respond and I realised my mistake… I was taking your post seriously 🤣

You don't have kids... There is your answer.

My kids are older but we pay out £370 a month in clubs, bus pass and pocket money. Oh daughters tutor £140 a month.

Clothes, shoes I don't even know. Say about £100 a month. School uniform every term really. Days out, cinema, meals, theme parks (have merlin passes). Food, extra utilities... Birthdays, Christmas....

Lol not even considered holidays! Yeah...

I can understand the adverse reaction to your post. A lot of people are genuinely struggling. That said, I do think “cost of living” is sometimes trotted out as an excuse for being shit with money. However, that’s the odd person; most people (including those who earn substantially more than you) are tightening their belts.

You don’t have children and you live up north, that’s your answer.