Was DP’s best man speech a red flag?

[Molsmol8]

We were away for a lovely wedding this weekend - DP was one of two best men, and he had responsibility for the speech. I should qualify this by saying nearly everyone in attendance seemed to be laughing through most of it, so it’s possible I will be told to ‘unclench’, so I’ve got my hard hat ready!

’Highlights’ included:

-Referring to someone his friend once pulled on a night out as a cross between Vicky Pollard and Jabba the Hutt.

-Saying he knows his friend has always liked things in his bum and turning to the bride to ask if she has a strapon in the bridal suite.

-A story about him shitting himself on a night out.

-Saying his friend is punching and questioning whether he has a ‘huge cock’.

His defence after was that he had tried to make things as uncomfortable as possible for his friend and that he knows he will return the favour one day so wanted to give as good as he’ll get. It just felt a step too far for me, but as I said, I seemed in the minority.

DP said it’s par for the course for best man speeches and that it doesn’t reflect his wider views.

Suitable jokes for a lads night but not a wedding reception where there were possibly grandparents and children.

They don’t.

I'm all for a bit banter and tongue in cheek comments but id have been furious if a speech like that was at my wedding. Too far for me.
The worst my ex ever said when he was BM was how the bride always like a dummy when she was little and how it had never changed!

Dreadful.

I hate the culture of ‘lads’ - it’s such a toxic idea of friendship. It’s completely possible to do a best man’s speech which is funny, heartfelt and pokes fun at the best man without being vulgar.

Bums, cocks and shitting yourself 🤨

If the bride and her family were fine with it, then I can’t see the issue. However plenty of posters will tell you to LTB.

You don’t have to stay with him if you don’t like his humour but he didn’t do anything inherently wrong

Are you the DP!? 🤣

Just ugh ..

I think this isn’t just a him issue, it’s also with the company he keeps.

If his entire social crowd is that immature and vulgar (in their 30s 🙄 and at a special event) what are they saying day-to-day?

How long have you been with him? And has he waved any other red flags?

Absolutely classless,not even remotely funny at all, totally cringeworthy.
I hope most guests were embarrassed for him. And if there were elderly people there,I bet they found it just plain rude.
Iam not a prude in any way but there is a time and a place for this kind of talk,and a speech at a family wedding is not the place

The grandparents could well be in their 60s and perfectly capable of listening to that kind of thing without expiring through embarrassment

Disgusting and embarrassing.

Vile poor Bride and her family and poor you.

So disrespectful

That is absolutely awful. If a best man's speech is to be risque, it should be risque as viewed by a very elderly aunt, ie one very mild joke or aside that goes above the heads of any children present.

And if the friends and family found it amusing, they must all be as rough as he is.

Low intelligence and lack of imagination. Get rid. You don't want to be sitting at your wedding breakfast listening to his best man 'return the favour'.

Bleugh ...

Fucking gross. I don’t mind a piss taking and can absolutely laugh at some really inappropriate stuff but that would absolutely give me the ick.

Not cool, imagine how akward for parents, grandparents etc. I hope the speeches weren't being filmed, wedding video ruined! I imagine unless the wedding was full of 18 year olds the other guests were laughing through discomfort! I would be seriously considering if I wanted to be with this man

I’m 58 and would have wanted to leave the room.

I an close to that age and we had years of listening to comedians like Bernard Manning and Chubby Brown, who put crude into another lane.
Am I without humour? No. But it’s about knowing your audience. At the stag do dinner or whatever? Go for your life, Wayne. Bring all the evidence.
But leave it out at the wedding. There are actual ways of being funny and ways of just bring boringly crude. Jokes about huge cocks and shitting yourself are just lacking in humour. They get a cheap laugh, agreed, but they just lack imagination.

That was the toned down version because there were kids present?!

Is this the sort of speech you'd like at your own wedding?

Ugh. A bit of innuendo and teasing is fine in a best man speech. This goes way too far and isn’t clever or subtle.

So for example saying something like “we were all impressed he found such a gorgeous bride. We assume he has a very large… hidden talent” would be fine (IMO). Saying he’s punching and must have a massive cock is not.

Not sure I can think of decent versions of the rest.

I think people were laughing because they felt uncomfortable and needed to hide their disgust!
I have been to countless weddings and I’ve never heard a best man’s speech so vile and in such bad taste and I’m no prude either!
Do you really want to marry into this OP??

His lack of judgment and consideration for elderly guests and the brides parents would really put me off there.
and the obvious misogyny and homophobia - ick. You’re not going to marry him are you? Cos your wedding will be the same…… that would be a no from me.