Was DP’s best man speech a red flag?

[Molsmol8]

We were away for a lovely wedding this weekend - DP was one of two best men, and he had responsibility for the speech. I should qualify this by saying nearly everyone in attendance seemed to be laughing through most of it, so it’s possible I will be told to ‘unclench’, so I’ve got my hard hat ready!

’Highlights’ included:

-Referring to someone his friend once pulled on a night out as a cross between Vicky Pollard and Jabba the Hutt.

-Saying he knows his friend has always liked things in his bum and turning to the bride to ask if she has a strapon in the bridal suite.

-A story about him shitting himself on a night out.

-Saying his friend is punching and questioning whether he has a ‘huge cock’.

His defence after was that he had tried to make things as uncomfortable as possible for his friend and that he knows he will return the favour one day so wanted to give as good as he’ll get. It just felt a step too far for me, but as I said, I seemed in the minority.

DP said it’s par for the course for best man speeches and that it doesn’t reflect his wider views.

awful, poor Bride , poor you

I couldn’t be with someone who did this. It’s vile. Those poor parents who had to hear it. Save that for the Stag if you have to.

The best ‘Best Men’ speeches are warm, witty and full of affection. Dump.

Gross, and outdated anyway.

You must move in different circles to the rest of us then.

Grim. It's one thing to joke about how Dave the Groom got food poisoning on someone's stag do and another to start talking about anal sex and strap ons.

Yuck. Hope there weren't kids or grandparents in attendance!

I expect Grannie found that all hilarious 🤔

The speech was awful, totally inapropriate, especially if there were youngsters in earshot.
Just as a matter of interest, how did the bride react?

Good god. And all said in front of Great Aunt Edith and Grannie? Unbelievablely crass and unnecessary

I couldn't be with a man like that

Poor you!

That’s absolutely mortifying

Yes, a huge red flag.

Then you have a very questionable friendship group!!

This is absolutely NOT standard! Unless your standards are gutter level of course.

The other guests would likely be pitying you for being his girlfriend after that knuckledragging performance.

Ouch. That’s grim. Vulgar. Not funny. Laddish. Misogynistic and all round poor taste. We were at a wedding once where the best man did similar. He was very pleased with himself, thought he was hilarious. Majority of guests just thought he was an immature idiot. Who would want to hear that at their daughter’s wedding? You aren’t overreacting OP. He’s shown who he is and tbh he’s no catch. Throw him back.

I know Hugh Grant pulled off the best man speech in Four Weddings with a few risqué asides, but these roastings have turned into full-on Bernard Manning territory.
Absolutely vile and he needed to get in there first?
God knows what went on in the stag do.
If the was the bride I’d have simply got up and walked out. A bit dramatic but on a special day like this, when the bride in particular puts in so much work, why should she listen to it?
People don’t lost their humour as they get older, I am close to 60 but I wouldn’t sit and listen to this. There will have been older relatives there too. Even small weddings cost a fortune now, so much prep happens, it doesn’t have to be perfect but this is reducing a lovely family event to a tacky comedy club open mic night.
I couldn’t be around someone who behaved like that, either. Self-centred and careless. No know we all have different tastes but weddings aren’t the place.

He’s revolting and if DH’s best man had been making a speech like that at our wedding it wouldn’t have been allowed to continue. We had lots of DH’s military colleagues there and not one stepped out of line or said anything inappropriate and it was something my MOH was terrified about.

That poor bride must have been horrified. Ditch him and his mates that found any part of this funny, they sound awful.

Not in our friendship groups it’s not.

He’s mid 30’s - some children were present, and he said he toned it down and made sure not to swear as a result.

Oh! Ick!

The permanent ick

If it's permission you need you have it

Disgusting, lowlife, trailer trash.

There was a thread on here fairly recently from a MIL who was still seething from the best man's speech months after the event. I guess many from your event might feel the same.

It's so awful that the day that has been planned for months or even years, and at considerable expense, can be ruined by such moronic crassness.

How did everyone involved not shrivel up and die of embarrassment?!

It's the kind of humour I'd expect a 15 year old boy to find funny. In a fully grown man the jokes are so far into ick territory they've met cringe and there is no coming back. I could not have sex with a man who thought those kind of remarks were funny.

What a gent! 🙄 He still has no insight or concern about how much of an immature idiot he was and how uncomfortable he made a lot of the audience feel. If he’s making you feel like you have no sense of humour and are being uptight that too reflects on him. Massive red flags 🚩 and would be dumping him asap.