WIBU to divorce due to DH quitting his job whilst I’m a SAHM?

[Ilovechristmasssssssssssss]

We have young children under the age of 5.

I’m a SAHM whilst DH works (which we are both in agreement with). He has a high earning role, but has been increasingly unhappy with the politics of the job.

He came home and announced that he is quitting tomorrow. Nothing lined up but says he will ‘make it work’. Worst case scenario we will have to sell our home and downsize.

Despite him having a well paid role, we have zero savings as our outgoings are high and due to some other factors. We have a minimum debt payment of £3,000 per month (DH brings home approx £10,000 per month).

I am considering telling him that it’s over between us if he does this. I am fed up of picking up everything family-wise for him to just throw our lives into turmoil like this.

well surely the answer is for you to get a job and let him pick everything up family wise?

what's the backstory to why he's got you in so much debt you're paying 3k a month in repayments?

My immediate earning potential doesn’t cover our outgoings. He’s a hands off dad who wouldn’t know where to start.

yabu
you divorce a man with no job and debt and what are you left with?!
uou sit down and talk and work up a plan
you may well have to get a job

He needs to stay in work while you look for a job and he looks for alternative employment. And yes, I’d seriously consider divorcing a man who doesn’t have a plan for how to feed his own kids!

and honestly if DH announced this I'd be thinking wtf, how has it got this bad, let's talk, let me support you, let's work this out together
not fuck you, I'm leaving.

so honestly sounds like the relationship is already done.

leave regardless of his employment status,

We have been through this time and time again. I’ve offered advice, suggestions etc.

These are my thoughts too.

So how would divorcing help

Let me know where these jobs are that she can walk straight into that pays 5-10K per month I’d like one of those too 🙄

Quit or been sacked? 10k a month is a huge amount even if you are paying 3k of it in debt repayment. What on earth does 7k a month go on?
he’s your DH something more than meets the eye is going on here. I would want a serious chat asap.

It wouldn’t help the immediate situation. But he’s showing he’s someone I cannot rely on. Do I want to move forward like that or go it alone?

Did he quit, impulsively, or was he pushed?

Where is her plan to feed her kids ?

There’s nothing strange going on. I’ve just given a brief overview. He’s not been happy with office politics for a while.

Did he say why tomorrow? Do you talk about his job - do you know what is going on?

it sounds like an extreme reaction from him (to leave with nothing lined up), and an extreme reaction from you, (to threaten divorce as your first response to the news).

Is this extreme situation out of the ordinary for you both, or do you often end up in drama? You mention big debts - how did these come about? That sounds like a stress inducing amount to need to be paying back as a minimum each month. Are you both bringing that debt down now?

DH’s ONE job is to provide and feed the kids. I pick up everything else related to our family.

£10k take home a month and no savings?

Why dont you swap then

This 100%
WTAF is a marriage where you’d up and leave the instant one party is struggling that much that they would rather quit a job and be homeless that do the job. There’s something serious going on here and yes I understand he sounds like a twat for the threat but it just requires some communication.

So you leave the financial situation to him? What’s your plan if you leave him then.

So maybe you can work as well why does he have to do it?

Where will you live and how will you feed your children?

Sounds like a getting out before he’s pushed scenario.

Yes I do know what’s going on. There’s nothing that warrants an immediate reaction like this (in my opinion). Just a difference in opinion between people.

No this isn’t usual. But I suppose I’m at my wits end with his ‘work issues’ and offering support for him to just turn around and do this.

It’s nothing like this. They wouldn’t want him to leave.