Letter from HA about loud music?

[autumnbeee]

So basically I received a letter from my HA about loud music causing a disturbance to other residents here.

I am the only one who received it.

I suspect my NDN reported me as I don't think who else it could be?

Surely they could have just left a polite note or approached me?

I assume this will be on my file now?

I grew next to a neighbour like you. She ruined a huge chunk of our lives with her loud music, parties, people coming and going - you get the picture. It's had a very negative affect on my life.

No one has attacked you and I find it ridiculous to say that. You wrote a comment and I responded line by line showing you that for example ‘music’ can be quietly enjoyed in your own garden without upsetting anyone else, or it can make you into an incredibly shite neighbour depending how it’s played. Line by line I showed you how everything you said can be made worse. That’s not an attack, that’s a response.

And no one accused you of making any noise.

Every time you refer to me “you” it’s directed at me?

like I am somehow the bad neighbour because i don’t mind my neighbours noises.

once more, several on this thread have had a zero tolerance to any noise / want silence / it can’t cross the boundary.

that is what I was responding to, not people who understand balance of normal life noises. And I’d consider myself one of those.

i don’t need to be shown how it can be made worse, I’m not stupid, and that is not what was being discussed in my post or interaction.

It would be nigh on impossible to come up with a decibel level that would be acceptable for everyone. Growing up (and bringing up children and grandchildren) it was the norm for noise to be in the background so you couldn't tell what the tune was unless you stood by the hedge and cracked your ears open. A gentle hum of music, children, dogs was expected - anyone shrieking/screaming or discernible music was unneighbourly.

Silence is probably too much to ask but yes, background hum level sounds completely reasonable.

If I’m playing music with my windows open, I go out on the balcony to make sure it’s only just audible out there. If I wanted to listen to it on the balcony I’d play it very quietly or use headphones.

Not that I haven’t been tempted sometimes to blast the Vagina Anthem out on repeat at full volume because I can hear other people’s noise. But that wouldn’t be fair on the quiet neighbours.

I’m responding to what you actually wrote: that objections to intrusive noise feel “miserable, controlling and unfriendly,” followed by a list suggesting that children playing, babies crying and garden tools would all effectively be banned. If you don’t personally make noise in your garden, then clearly my questions about how you would respond to a neighbour don’t apply to your own behaviour.

The open-door example came from the wider discussion about music, it wasn’t presented as something you had specifically said.

But honestly, get a grip. Disagreeing with the argument you posted isn’t “attacking” you. If your point was only that one particular poster had demanded absolute silence, then address that specific comment. Your post read as though any request to limit noise was controlling, which is what I challenged.

What I actually wrote was it feels controlling to say that noise can’t go past a boundary

that’s not quite the same thing as how you’ve rephrased i

again I didn’t mention requests to limit noise at all, you are being disingenuous, saying things that weren’t in my post. I was very specifically responding to a boundary comment and listing noises that would be restricted by that, which in my neighbourhood are common.

And telling me to get a grip is really rude and unnecessary.

That makes sense, though I’d say that having a decibel restriction doesn’t need to be acceptable for everyone, in the same way that any time restrictions for commercial work on a Sunday probably aren’t acceptable for all.

Fair enough. If you were responding solely to the literal claim that no sound of any kind should ever travel beyond a property boundary, then I agree that would be unreasonable. Ordinary neighbourhood noise inevitably carries.

However, your examples appeared to equate objections to amplified music with objections to children playing, babies crying and necessary garden work, which isn’t a fair comparison. The relevant distinction is not whether a sound crosses a boundary, but whether it is avoidable, excessive, persistent or unreasonably intrusive.

I wasn’t being disingenuous, I interpreted the broader implication of what you wrote. You’ve now clarified that you were addressing only that specific boundary comment, so there’s little left for us to disagree about.