AIBU to ask what you’d do if your DH revealed he was actually an international gun for hire, and not a salesman?

[Hypothesis]

I ask you to imagine this. You’ve been with your DH for about ten years. One kid. You have a great income and lifestyle; a beautiful house, nice things, lovely car. It’s primarily funded by DH’s job in international sales. It takes him away from home for weeks, sometimes longer, but the material benefits are tangible and obvious. He also tells you one day that he’ll give it up and you’ll live a comfortable life.

Then the bombshell - you find out the sales job isn’t a sales job. Your DH is actually an international assassin. He has a vague moral code - he only takes out adults, only takes out men, only takes out those he considers are criminal or immoral (in his eyes) - bad guys basically. However, he remains a gun for hire.

AIBU to ask what you’d do?

And yes, I’ve been watching Day of the Jackal.

Wake up and continue living in the real world.

Tch. Some men will do anything to escape the domestic load... 🙄

Probably look at the large list of fantasy books I'd still love to buy, my list of book and music merch, my hair extensions and acrylic nails...and I'd say the following:

I wouldn’t marry someone in international sales in the first place so maybe this is unlikely to happen to me.

I’d wonder how he can be an international assassin but can’t put the milk back in the fridge when he’s finished with it or remember what time the kids ju jitsu class is. 😂

Well I’d be pretty pissed off, seeing as DH is inept at any physical/DIY jobs so I have to do everything around the house. So I’d be wondering how successful he is as a paid assassin, seeing as he can’t change a lightbulb, find his favourite hoodie in the closet where it’s always been, turn the hob on or install a new doorbell.

He’s hot, right? Otherwise I wouldn’t be with him. Given the circles he mixes in I expect he’d be good for interesting drugs. Ok moral code. Fuck it, I’m in.

It would give me the ick. Not just the murdering but the whole wearing a polo neck and assembling a gun from a leather case. Taking himself very seriously.

That doesn’t turn you on?! Okay I’ll agree with the polo next, they look bad on everyone but the rest of it?

Lol.

Our former tenant told our senior property manager he was implanted with US microchips. Also a sales man who claimed he owned the business but really he didn’t.

married a woman from Asia from a dating site and planned to bring in/sponsor her family to work on ‘his’ farms only they weren’t his and he was falling out left, right and centre with the farmers.

Behind in rent with us, and then he told his new bride and our PM his USA grain factory burned down and was uninsured, so his fortune (haha) was lost.

feel free to use it in whatever you are writing… but he actually exists.

He doesn’t move in circles. He’s a love wolf, his habitat is the shadows. No one knows who he is, they just know his professional name - the Badger.

Love wolf or lone wolf, or both?

The hitman stuff wouldn't be over the phone, it's all arranged via the dark web, keeps everything anonymous that way.

You're in danger - this sort of thing always comess back to haunt him. Someone will end up kidnapping you and your children. LTB

I wouldn't expect to have a 'nice" life funded for me. I value having a happy home and wouldn't want to do all the parenting whilst my dh was away from home for long periods so that kind of set up wouldn't work for me irrespective of whether he was a salesman or gun for hire. I wouldn't want to live a life where we were always looking over our shoulders and him doing such a job putting our family at risk would not be ok. Mostly I just would't want to be married to a murderer however he justified it. I wouldn't feed my family with money earned from ill gotten means. It would come back on you in some way.

It was a typo but yes, he’s both.

DH can’t cope with modern technology like using Google maps or setting up a new smart phone, never mind getting into the dark web.

This is the man, who threw his mouse on the desk, calling it some not very nice names, because it didn’t work! I asked him if he’d checked the batteries? It had never occurred to him that wireless mice need to get the energy to run, from somewhere!

The incompetence is a cover...

I have a couple of names… one is female but she’s a secret paedo so maybe he could stretch his code

Not a love wolf! That is a cover. Does he howl at a full moon? Is he hairy?

I’d be fine with it to be honest. Particularly if I got to go on some of the trips.

Give him a list Of my own World and climate destroyers, and then leave him crack on with his job. If he’s already been doing it for years He’s obviously good at it.

My husband spent 20 years as an armourer in the RAF. We would often joke - in the privacy of our home, only - about the people who made it on to “the list”. In fact, given the multitude of weaponry he saw on a daily basis from individual small arms such as a pistol or a longer SA80 type that had repeating capability all the way up to aircraft missiles that could take out half a neighbourhood, we had a couple of lists with varying degrees of severity.

There’s always that one last job, and the squeezers that mean he can’t refuse. You might get a film script out of it, though it’s been done to, er, death.

Assuming this isnt your life. What a bloody stupid question.