DD and friend had drinks spiked, now in ITU AIBU?

[Pissedoffmama]

My Dd had her drink spiked last night.
Im sitting in ITU.
I have sons……. But wtf goes on in men’s heads.
For completeness, her best friend, was also spiked, but is not as poorly.
police are being crap.
Just why????

@ProfessionalPirate I do not agree at all that the victims of these crimes should be held accountable.

Where did I say that they should be?

👏👏👏

Awful victim blaming by Suzy there.

Quite.

It might make Suzy feels better to think it won’t happen to her. But it still might.

Nonsense.

Why should i do what you say? What/who gives you the right to tell others what they should do?

I don't go into pubs/clubs/bars and don't have any children that do.

Are you always this bossy.on anon forums?

I know you don’t see it, @sunshinesuzey - but the fact that so many people on here have read your posts as clear victim blaming should makes you stop and consider. The way you are saying things, the words and phrasing you are using, DO look like victim blaming, even if that is not your intent.

Oh, so now you are a mindreader and know what I think or what will happen to me ?

If you're into fortune - telling do something useful and just have a look in your crystal ball and tell me the lottery numbers for this w/e.
TIA

And what is that?

What is the protocol they follow here, and did they follow it correctly?

Are you in a position to even know this?

Could it be possible they did do everything, and you're just not aware, as you are rightly concentrating on your loved one and hopefully trusting them to take care of their end?

I understand you're frustrated, but if the lines of enquiry don't produce anything, what can they do?

It can be a common misconception that just because there is CCTV, lines of enquiry, witnesses, etc., it will lead to arrests; unfortunately, it doesn't always produce enough results for the identification and arrest of offenders. Sometimes investigations can fall flat very quickly.

It can be very hard for victims to accept due to the trauma and upset at what they have experienced, which is very understandable, but it doesn't mean they didn't do their job and try.

I am not responsible for other people's comprehension or lack of it.

Meanings are in people not in words, their interpretation isn't my responsibility.

But the fact that so many people see you victim blaming should make you think maybe you are in the wrong, @sunshinesuzey. Because you are clearly victim blaming.

In your opinion.
If you choose to think that it says a lot more about you than me.

Where did I 'clearly victim blame?'

Please quote the post.

It's also quite tricky to watch a bartender like a hawk if you never go to bars.

I don't understand how this could happen.
I don't accept drinks off anyone I don't know.
In a restaurant I watch when the wine is bought to the table and how it is opened.
If I go to a bar, I watch what the bartender/barmaid does before and when they pour my drink.
Unless you leave your drink lying around there is no reason for it to be 'spiked'.
Dons tin hat !

——

However, I don't understand how it could happen if someone has their drink in their hand all night.

——

I wouldn't have a big enough drink that took all night to drink for a start. I would keep it held against my chest so I would be aware if anyone tried to get close to it.
And I would use one of these https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/405152991817?_skw=anti+drink+spiking+stopper&itmmeta=01KY7S82WD34XPNDNTE1G2TT4Z&hash=item5e55000a49:g:p94AAOSwsqxmtJte&itmprp=enc%3AAQALAAAA4GfYFPkwiKCW4ZNSs2u11xDVfOpiE7sQpGohH7Xw9TVmBYT4NMBn6PFDzYgjMaD29JkRCmLw%2BIUl4jIS8jK3KfN1iPr0JYxGLcXJs7VZGAXgyuePB59Wj%2B1Uhx%2BlUX2clDbv6aIDt1PeREbgxP58FRPuuVYTzWd45WGcyCCWBe3QnsPoUjCgW69RwrDTOxTYZO5Sc5ZBuq7MrcN%2BWtYbglvJBsbDIA9VTwVcliR9aIKuycOzROLpiHrGAA1x0rXg5mlrAOQwv19yYql5OKbS47vgC%2Feofzcz%2BWKSermO9IRY%7Ctkp%3ABk9SR8CuoPnxZw

These all look like victim blaming to me, @sunshinesuzey - though I am sure you won’t accept that.

Well this has turned into an interesting chat!!
For information, both young women are on the mend. My Dd is being discharged from hospital later today. They are both understandably shaken.
For those who asked, it appears it was a cocktail of Ketamine and diazepam.
As for the police, things have improved. Once the doctors agreed it most likely was a spiking!
This was the initial problem, outside the pub, the officers in attendance apparently accused the girls of being drunk/ on drugs and wouldn’t listen…. Wanted to check them for personal possession of drugs. I’m not exactly sure of the time lines here as it’s a little muddled as their memories are a bit fuzzy. At some point it was established they were not in possession of drugs
Cctv has now been looked at, there were indeed two men acting suspiciously around the bar, who followed the girls out, they disappeared when she collapsed.

People who poison spike may be targeting a number of people. It's just pot luck who falls victim. The perpetrator doesnt need to succeed every time.

Police possibly not very interested because recording the crime messes up their clear up statistics.

Until they get forced by the Home Office to record incidences they will continue to keep saying nothing happened.

Not sure why my post was deleted.

I pointed out the contradiction between @sunshinesuzey taking great precaution to protect herself from having her drink spiked (unlike the careless victims who clearly didn't) and her scepticism that drink spiking is even a thing (demanding to see stats as evidence).

The point is….. these were two young women, who don’t see each other often since leaving school, just having a catch up…. I mean WTF!!
All the chat on here I get… lots of differing opinions… I get…..
Everyone has the right to be safe

I'm glad your daughter and her friend are improving @Pissedoffmama and that the police are taking it more seriously. I hope they make a full recovery with no lasting effects and that the police find the culprits.

I think people dont like to believe they can become a victim of a crime.

I cant become a victim because I'm cleverer and do all these special things

Except we can all be victims and perpetrators can be people we think we know.

The only way you can guarantee not becoming a victim of spiking is by not going out anywhere. If you have to go out then you have to give 100% attention to your drink/food. This does have the advantage of making it highly unlikely you will be invited anywhere again.

In your post that I was replying to:

I haven't changed my opinion and still support a degree of personal accountability.

Accountability - aka be held to some degree responsible for the crime that has been committed against them.

OMG this is horrific. I do not understand how spiking is being treated as lightly by society as it seems to be. It is poisoning which we always used to think of as a really shocking crime.
No-one should be needing to watch their drinks constantly, and the police should be all over this.
There's something in our society's reaction to this that I don't understand. Is it that it is something that happens to young women having a night out and some sectors of society somehow don't think they should be out at all? Or what?
OP - I hope your daughter and her friend make full recoveries, and that they receive any other help they need to recover emotionally and be able to enjoy a full social life as they should be. And let's hope the police step up on this in a big way.

That’s like saying you’re accountable because you’re female!!! Or because you bought a drink!!
Absolutely ridiculous.
The only people accountable for crimes are the perpetrators!!
Get a grip

Indeed!
The more people who report this the more there will be a recognition of the scale of the problem. Patterns might begin to emerge allowing more targeted investigations. If nothing else the police and local licensing board should be refusing licences to any bars where it has become almost accepted. Not all bars I know, and some are excellent at being aware and keeping an eye out but for others it is a blind eye.