Social conventions you thought everyone knew

[Asuperblyfeauturedroomandexcellentboiledpotatoes]

The thread started by the lady who's father recently died and people turned up to his funeral in joggers got me thinking.
What is something you thought was basic social etiquette, a rule that everyone lived by, that you were shocked/surprised to see someone not following?
Did it make you judge the person? Wonder if maybe you're just old fashioned? Or something else?

I'll start. At work the other day someone said they were leaving early because they had a hospital appointment. A younger colleague said "oh, what for?". It felt very awkward and the colleague said "oh.. you know, just women's stuff".
I always thought that you never ever ask people for details of medical appointments or why they were off or what OP they are having. It's very rude. Same as you don't ask people how much they earn or who they are going to vote for or questions about their sex life or something!
At first I judged but then remembered she was young and maybe noone had told her.

What's surprised you lately?

You're making excuses for lazy slobs. I assume you're one of them.

I am such a lazy slob, I can not afford to go to a hotel.

Good lord yes! Like we already know and are not talking to not breathe more air in.

It's not the same. A driver is at risk of a dangerous driving penalty for crossing a red light. A driver can choose to stop at a crossing or carry on driving at a crossing even though they have an obligation to stop.

Thanking driver's at crossings is just basic good manners. What a sad world we will live in if these nice moments of etiquette are lost.

I let dc go down for breakfast in PJ’s. But DS is quite a messy eater. I don’t mean getting it all over the table and floor. But getting food down his clothes when he’s only put them on 10 minutes or so before is annoying.

The only place where I've seen this done was the Cambridge college where I worked for a while. It was of course overrun by all sorts of pointless manners and customs, so I thought it was just a college thing.

What about tilting your soup plate away from yourself while spooning out the last bit of soup? Is that also considered good manners somewhere beyond the college?

I am trying to visualise the whole tilting your soup plate away from you, and it huts my head as it makes no sense.
It also makes no sense as to how it affects other people at all.
Some etiquette shite is just plain weird.

I'm all for traditional manners if they make sense, and by adhering to them is pleasant for others but not wildly inconveniencing you.

Eating with my folk in my right hand does not negatively impact you, but forcing me to change hands would be a pain for me.

On the other hand, thanking a driver for letting you cross at a zebra with a little wave 👋 isn't inconveniencing you and will create good vibes all round.

It just has to make sense.

In Weatherspoons 😂😂😂

So as a non driver I often walk to the bus stop with a heavy bag for life of shopping in one hand and keeping hold of DD with the other hand. DD is an adult but severely disabled has epilepsy and has sudden drop seizures. She has 2 to 1 carers for respite. So I really don’t have a free hand to wave to someone to thank them for allowing us to cross a crossing. I would also look a right wally. I do always stop to be sure they are stopping because I know they don’t have to.

Don’t arrive early if you are going to someone’s house.

We were all brought up to wait in our family and my peers too and none of us are common!

The pulling out thing isn’t just etiquette, it’s the Highway Code!

@Motuihe If were meeting in a restaurant, you can arrive as early as you want because the staff can host you, but arriving early at my house will have me answering the door in my towel and half my makeup done, and it'll throw me off all night.

Yes. We were at my husband’s office Christmas night out one year and dinner was served along with bowls of various veg on the table. Someone picked up the bowl of roast potatoes, put two on their plate and passed it to the man next to them who proceeded to empty the bowl onto his plate leaving none for the rest of the table.
Still bitter about that 15 years later.

Well that's fair enough. In those kind of circumstances a nod to thank the driver whose stopped to let you cross works just as well.

I wonder if your husband worked with my mum? This happened at her work Christmas do, although I think it was more than 15 years ago. Apparently one man just emptied the bowl of potatoes that was meant to be for half the table. Luckily the kitchen sent some more out!

Oh my god I would hate that. Leave the bed as it is please.

I do both, my bed my car, anyone that doesn't like it doesn't need to be either of them

I enjoy the TikTok etiquette videos from the etiquette expert guy (William something) very entertaining but yes a lot of it is just outdated and pointless.

These are the ones that get me most!

Also, on busy pavements, your side is the same side as it would be if you were driving. You avoid head on collisions with people by sticking to your side, you don’t walk down the wrong side and expect everyone coming the other way to get out of the way for you. Men are terrible at this and very entitled about dominating the pavement and expecting everyone else to move for them.

I'm committing the cardinal MN sin of commenting without having RTFT (though I did see the posts from @XenoBitch and @GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing ) . So I apologise if this has already been posted:

"I eat my peas with honey.
I've done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny,
But it keeps them on the knife."

I thought everyone knew not to wear a really sexy, revealing dress to a wedding, and to stay away from wearing all-white, all-black, or all-fire-engine-red. But apparently I'm behind the times....

I am not with you on the the peas and it isn't made up. In some circles, the correct way is smsuch them onto the back of a fork and pop precariously onto the mouth. It's very outdated nowadays anyway. I was always a scooper of peas if I ate them. I am not from a rich family but was taught that we keep elbows off the table, we close our mouths when eating, and if cutlery are crossed we are done if they are not we are still eating.

Do you have a parent from a Nordic country? These are very Nordic traditions