Social conventions you thought everyone knew

[Asuperblyfeauturedroomandexcellentboiledpotatoes]

The thread started by the lady who's father recently died and people turned up to his funeral in joggers got me thinking.
What is something you thought was basic social etiquette, a rule that everyone lived by, that you were shocked/surprised to see someone not following?
Did it make you judge the person? Wonder if maybe you're just old fashioned? Or something else?

I'll start. At work the other day someone said they were leaving early because they had a hospital appointment. A younger colleague said "oh, what for?". It felt very awkward and the colleague said "oh.. you know, just women's stuff".
I always thought that you never ever ask people for details of medical appointments or why they were off or what OP they are having. It's very rude. Same as you don't ask people how much they earn or who they are going to vote for or questions about their sex life or something!
At first I judged but then remembered she was young and maybe noone had told her.

What's surprised you lately?

Yes! To all of these! These strike me as basic good manners and consideration for others around you, and I get particularly grumpy at people not letting people off the train/tube first before barging on.

If you're following British etiquette it would apply to rice and orzo too. If you don't you're eating it the foreign way 🤣

Yes, if I’ve been invited to someone’s house for dinner / drinks / a party / to stay, I wouldn’t dream of turning up empty handed.

Nope. Mum was super strict on this and we were very working class. Plus talking properly with without slang

Eating soup the spoon must go away from you as you scoop the soup up- one believe's this is done in polite society lol

Children should give up their seats for adults in public transport

Able bodied should give up their seats on public transport for disabled, pregnant, elderly people

Buggies should give way to wheelchair on public transport

Don't ask personal questions unless you are close to someone

Don’t impose your political views on. Religion on others

At a buffet don’t use the same utensils for meat and veg, don’t use your fingers, don’t double dip

Answer your door when the doorbell rings

Use headphones to listen to things in public

I think the reason I dislike peas so much even now is the whole being forced expected to squish them onto the back of a fork

Has I been permitted to shovel them up and swallow them whole without the taste escaping I would not be quite so averse!

I didn't really think that it would be too bad if you were careful, but i guess it is just extra handling.

I did watch a tv documentary where they put some kind of invisible ink on the raw chicken, then played it back so that the ink showed up and it was just EVERYWHERE: fridge door handle, taps so now I just plop it straight in the heat. But that has made me very aware of packaged raw meats at the supermarket so that I always pack them beside things I am going to cook in case it has got all over the outside of the packaging too. Though I think machines are much better at these processes.

I can still hear my mum correcting me - 'it's not 'I seen'/'I done'. Or 'take the other person out of the sentence, does it still make sense?' She was hardly posh though. I think it was just that grammar was drummed into children of her generation by teachers.

My friend always starts eating her food the moment she receives it, whether everyone has theirs or not.

One evening we were all served ours but waiting for hers to arrive. There were six of us. She, puzzled, asked why we were all sitting looking at her. I said "do you mind if we start?" She was blown away.

"Do you have to get my permission before you can eat... Why? No anyway I'm not giving you permission, ha!"

One of the issues with shovelling is you turn your fork upwards which changes the angle of your arm holding the fork so that the elbow automatically rise up and makes you inelegant. You can no longer keep your elbows in the correct position neatly by your side and you can elbow the person beside you.

Don’t wear pyjamas to the supermarket or on the school run either - unless you’ve pulled your jeans over the top.

I only found out that you don’t wear all black to a funeral unless you were a relative or extremely close- said it afterwards to my mum (who is social etiquette person 101) and she said oh god did you wear all black? It’s years since people have done that!

I was always thought you ring the doorbell then take a step off the first step so you’re not crowding the person, all the politicians that canvassed practically stepped into the house!!

The words excuse me and sorry seem to be totally gone from the public now, people who hit into each other just stare at each other in shock!!

I also can’t believe people don’t thank the driver of the car that stopped at the crossing, same when people let other people out!

Yes most other food, other than the obvious ones like pasta

Noticed a lot of people sneezing in public and not covering with hands or tissue, like at beach or n pavement as you walk past. Maybe its a thing now lol but gross

No I'm just a creepy stalker.

I'd think you were common if you waited for everyone to be served before starting to eat

I don’t think many people abide by this. It might have worked years ago when there were far fewer cars on the road.
I have told my children that when the herse takes me to my funeral I want the driver to go fast.

Fair enough avoiding elbowing people. That falls under Things That Affect or Impact Others

As for appearing inelegant, well that ship has sailed at so many different times in so many different directions, but doesn't impact others.

Arguably by scooping (whilst being careful not to elbow) I would be eating them in a more tidy manner and impacting others less with squishy inelegance!

Agreed. Absolutely minging

Knife in right hand, fork in left.

I've forever disappointed my grandparents by eating "the wrong way around".

I don’t get this. If you are telling your DH you’ve had an email from someone, what response to you expect from him? If he doesn’t at least say ‘oh, how are they?’, it would sound like he wasn’t interested in what you were saying.

Wtf no. You don’t feed other people’s pets without permission and I wouldn’t want someone giving cheese to my cat, don’t you know dairy is poisonous to them?

I will add my voice to those who do not want beds stripped, or anyone starting a load of laundry to be ‘helpful’, just leave it alone!

Eating in the car or in bed - thoughts?

Guilty as charged here :)

Death penalty for you 😅