AIBU to think children do not need packed summer schedules?

[Didhereallyleavethecountryinabetterplace]

We have finished school where we are. We live in a warm place by the beach and swimming pools and so many things to do.
A family member has signed her children up to hundreds of activities and different camps. She doesn’t really work or at least not many hours and from home, they have plenty of money and a large home and garden.
I completely understand full time working parents having to rely on camps/clubs etc. But if you don’t/didn’t have to, is there anything wrong with just letting your kids relax and be at home with you and their friends a bit?
I love mine being off, do get overwhelmed sometimes yes, but generally love it and we can find lots to do and days that we don’t do much, they can relax-watch tv, play in the garden, do crafts, go for a bike ride, swim and so on.
Why do some have to be so over scheduled, especially when they have that normally with school then clubs and homework every night
As a child, I remember loving just lolling around, seeing friends and having some days not really doing much

I don’t understand it

I agree somewhat with the OP. I actually think it's good for children to use their imaginations, especially the younger ones, play with friends, find things to do. I think it's very important actually to be able to entertain yourself and be comfortable doing so. But it's different to say when I was a kid when I was left to my own devices, out for the day with the neighbourhood kids and our dog. Children today are used to being entertained a lot more, playstation, computers, phones and of course the humble TV. I think a lot of children aren't so used to sitting still. I think a lot of parents would struggle all summer holiday keeping that up!

But wheres the evidence the kids in the OP dont do this. I am willing to bet they arent at summer camps for the entire 8 weeks of school holidays.

Why would you say that? You know that whether the parents work or not, if the kids are going to clubs most days then the result for the kids is the same?

So while I am so grateful that you approve of my decision to send my child to a club because I'm working, I'm sure you'd also approve because my poor child is a "lonely only" and you'd probably feel worse about being left alone to their own devices for weeks on end because I've selfishly not "given" them a sibling to play/fight with.

So I should pay for someone to clean my home rather than pay for my children to do activities they enjoy?

Mmm, that is one of OPs sillier posts!

Lots of activities can be a way of not spending time with kids - I have seen that.

However my Dmum was around in school hoildays and I never felt she spent any time with us despite being in the same house and chores weren't bonding time IME.

I walked my DC to things talking to them- some of which especially younger ages I did with them - and then after there was activity to discuss - they often did thing together as well or with other kids- then we'd often spend time cooking or them reading or crafts and playing while I did chores . I felt that was a better way of doing things than what I had as a child and that we spent more time interacting than we did with our parents and having more fun together.

Other people did other things that suited them and their families or what circustances they found themseleves in.

I've no idea why the OP is so judgemental here. My kids are adults or near enough and seem to think they had happy childhoods. Most of stuff we did was free or cheap and thus needed booking early - and we couldn't do ah hoc things with other families because in most school hoildays there never seemed to be other kids out and about in areas we lived.

Honestly, get a grip! No one is sending their kids away!

Sending kids to a couple of camps, when most people agree that they do loads of the things you’re recommending AS WELL is totally normal and unremarkable. For example, if my child is in a camp from 9-3pm we will often have a lazy breakfast and mooch about the garden, then when they are back at 3pm bake a cake, go to the park, watch a film together or just laze about. My kids are rarely in bed before 9 in the summer holidays so there is loads of time either side of the camps to enjoy their company. And weekends. And 2 weeks in France and a long weekend camping in our case.

I honestly can’t see how you can equate a couple of weeks at dance/ swimming/ football camp for 6 hours a day to “sending your children away.”

Or pay for a cleaner so you can do activities the kids love…with them, all happy

I didn’t say just a couple of weeks, this is various camps and constant away from them being occupied and no chill time

And what if they don’t? You just keep ignoring the very obvious point here. Your kids might love spending time at home and might have lots of local friends and lots of fun outings and lots of family around so you get a break too. Most children don’t have all those things and many children are happiest when they’re busy. And plenty of parents need some breaks too which is totally fine.

I grew up in the states and the norm is for sleep away camps - sometimes for several weeks. I never went - my mum didn’t work and we had no money for such things - but loads of kids would disappear for the summer. I don’t think they were being neglected and I don’t think my son is either.

it is really odd to assume what works for your family is ‘right’ and other setups are wrong. There’s endless nuance in parenting.

Oddly, I’m not a qualified gymnastics instructor so that wouldn’t really work…

and my kids enjoy the social side of seeing their friends at camp during their 8 weeks off school. Some of those friends will have parents who work so can’t just arrange play dates.

they spend 6 hours a day at camp, not every day of the holidays.

It’s also not healthy for a family to spend every waking moment together. I’m a better parent to them when I’ve had time to do my own stuff and they go to camp. Then come home excited to tell me everything they’ve done.

can you honestly not understand that? Or does being deliberately obtuse come easier to you?

So these children are at camp 7 days a week, for the full summer holidays? Doubtful

is there anything wrong with just letting your kids relax and be at home with you and their friends a bit?

This is obviously not a genuine question. You clearly don’t think it’s “wrong” to relax and spend time with friends. You just want to have a dig at people who think cricket camp or whatever is more fun than baking, as for some reason you think it’s impossible to do both. Why do they need to miss out on other things to read? How many hours a day reading is needed for fun? I’m a big reader and was even more so as a kid and a normal holiday day I probably wouldn’t spend more than 2-3 hours reading bar the occasional all day sesh when I’d got something particularly gripping and had little else to do. Either you are not secure in your perfectly basic choices you want a pile on of people saying what a shit mum your mate is and how shit her kids must be if they can’t even be bothered to slob the afternoon away in an armchair with a mixing bowl and a Famous Five, and how great your parenting and consequently kids are with their unscheduled down time to relax in. I don’t believe for a second you “feel sorry” for these other kids or that they are behind in school as a direct consequence of the camp/baking ratio being off in the summer holidays.
I went to brownie and guide camps as a kid - absolutely loved them but also loved the hours and hours and hours outside of them to do nothing. It’s not one of the other. I was a sahm when my dc were small and they didn’t do a single camp in the holidays except dd1 who did her hobby for 4 days every holiday from about 8-11 years old. Awful of me to put her through it but it is now her career so she doesn’t berate me too much. Ds2 is “army barmy” and does 8/9 days at cadet camp but was 13 when that started. Is that ok? He can bake - he made cookies last night, and he also reads a fair bit. Maybe I’ll start a thread.

Obviously touched a nerve….

Why would you touch a nerve? My kids are much older and I was a sahm for much if their childhood. I also live in a nice place with outdoor space and friends. One dd did approx 12-16 days of daytime “camp” in her whole childhood and one ds does a few residential camps a year as a teen. I have 2 others who weren’t interested in anything like that. I’ve basically parented during the holidays exactly as you do but without the desperate need for external validation from strangers. I’m just not so much of an arsehole to think this is morally superior to people who like organised activities and claim faux, handwringing, sympathy for the poor dc who take part in them and ask ridiculously disingenuously “is it ok to read and bake and play with friends? I’m so worried even though I think kids who do anything else are behind in school because of it. Please validate me! PLEASE!”. I can think you are unpleasant, disingenuous, and judgemental without being upset on a personal level by your near identical summer holiday activities. Even if my kids were camped half to death and I’d organised fun activities completely malevolently it wouldn’t touch a nerve because I just don’t need external approval the way you seem to.

I used to carry on support work in the hoildays - 20 minutes maths - some reading and writing programs- less than an hour usually across three kids - little and often. It helped them catch up and stop struggling.

Some posters on here acted like it was 24/7 and ruining their childhoods - in reality was dispersed throughout day as part of daily routine some things like the maths they enjoyed and we did actvities, groups and home baking and crafts as well. Also got cristsim for taking them out to so many activities .

This reminds me of that - the well I'm not doing that so will make out it's extreme and deterimetal rather than another parent making decisons based on their children and their circustances.

.My DC are now adults or nearly adults can see they are happy social have hobbies are readers and have good exam results opening doors for them - they don't remember all the support work or even half the activitis we/they did.

It's weird part of parenthood everyone wants to tell you that you are doing it wrong and causing damange then you get to point everyone can see end product then it's nothing to do with you.

People parent differently to you - sometime it goes better than yours for those kids and sometimes it doesn't.

My god 😂

Yes you’re right. The little bits of activity maths work sound good too

We do a mixture. Having an only child otherwise means they get lonely without someone to play with and it still requires a lot of organisation to sort out play dates and who is available when - bearing in mind I don’t know any parents who aren’t working during the summer holidays so it’s finding availability when people are not at work or away on holiday themselves.

Some structure really helps so not scheduled activities all day everyday but two or three a week.

Like everyone says, it depends on the kids/family. I only have my son half the holidays, he's got a week abroad with me and a week abroad with his dad, so that gives us 2 weeks each of the holidays left. I'm self employed so my time with my son will be a mixture of chilling at home and the odd day out, my ex is employed so he does use holiday clubs. Personally I don't judge parents who do things differently to us.

Ours are generally ‘busy’ in the school holidays, but we’re quite an active family most of the time. So far ours have both had a holiday in Canada, dance camp, just a day time thing, they’re on holiday with their grandma. When they get back on Friday we have three weeks with so far zero plans, we will so something most days, most of it cheap or free.

what an original response 🙄
whole thread is just a huge #humblebrag. Not going the way OP wanted unfortunately 😅

Yes that’s exactly it 😂

Not sure why you're implying this poster is crazy when you started a whole thread on the topic!

And she seems to holiday parent the same way you do anyway

Not implying crazy at all, it was just the massive rant, just a bit intense and over the top x