AIBU to think children do not need packed summer schedules?

[Didhereallyleavethecountryinabetterplace]

We have finished school where we are. We live in a warm place by the beach and swimming pools and so many things to do.
A family member has signed her children up to hundreds of activities and different camps. She doesn’t really work or at least not many hours and from home, they have plenty of money and a large home and garden.
I completely understand full time working parents having to rely on camps/clubs etc. But if you don’t/didn’t have to, is there anything wrong with just letting your kids relax and be at home with you and their friends a bit?
I love mine being off, do get overwhelmed sometimes yes, but generally love it and we can find lots to do and days that we don’t do much, they can relax-watch tv, play in the garden, do crafts, go for a bike ride, swim and so on.
Why do some have to be so over scheduled, especially when they have that normally with school then clubs and homework every night
As a child, I remember loving just lolling around, seeing friends and having some days not really doing much

I don’t understand it

Exactly ❤️

Different things work for different people, it's really that simple. This shouldn't be news to you if you're an adult with a normal IQ.

Same with my kids, my oldest was always fine with unstructured days but my youngest wants to always be doing something (or then be on screens). This is the first summer with no childcare for him and I've already decided next year I'll sign him up for all the camps I can (day camps and camping camps - he's doing one this summer for a few days and if that goes well then I'll find a few for him next summer)

autistic household.

we liked a weekly visual timetable with some things scheduled in to look forward to (such as play date with Bob or swimming pool, cinema trip, baking cookies, granny visiting, making pizza) but also lots of unstructured times to play.

that way they knew this morning is at home, then after lunch we are going to see a friend etc.

never set in stone - adapted as things came up but have a loose structure whilst also slowing time to play and just be at home.

i don’t believe that an non stop calendar of clubs and activities would work for mine as they need quiet and down time away from too much stimulation . Also I believe that a little boredom is good for them. Time then to play, read, use imagination, do craft - to find things to do - having everything spoon fed to them in the form of endless structured activities wasn’t what mine needed.

It’s not for us. We’ve never done clubs or much structured weeks, I work freelance, suits me. Suits my kid, who likes the element of surprise! He plays locally some days with friends. Some days out, some at home.

My sister has a corporate job, as does her DH, their DS is signed up for the summer. Same at weekends, after school. Suits her as a family. They are highly clock-based people. We just aren’t. Neither is right nor wrong.

Depends on the child! For me as a child, I just wanted to chill out and relax in the holidays but my partner who was an extremely active boy, just wanted to be enrolled in as many football, tennis, athletics clubs and camps as physically possible, he said it drove his parents nuts trying to keep up with him. There’s no right or wrong

I work through the holidays apart from the one week we have away but I'm with you - mine have had those random days out with grandparents, aunts and cousins, me on the odd days I take off for a day at the beach or whatever.

They have done week-long Scout camps over the summer because they love it and it's really good value but I can't be signing them up for everything because it costs an absolute fortune.

They've done a week or so at school summer holiday clubs over the years as we live in an area where our primary and high do that because most families can't afford to do paid for courses and camps, and many children don't get to do a range of activities with parents who aren't in work because they don't take them anywhere.

It's a mix!

I grew up doing random day trips with my mum and siblings but also plenty of days of playing in the street, doing the gardening, baking, paddling pool with the neighbours etc. I had friends who did things like National Youth Orchestra or Choir or Theatre and those would all have been bang up my street and my siblings' streets BUT even though we weren't poor, there's no way on earth we could've afforded for all four of us to have those opportunities so none of us did. And guess what, we've still ended up in choirs as adults and one's a professional performance artist, we just did it another route. Shame though.

Oh and I also think it's important for children to be bored and have to find things to do, places to go, and friends to do things with. e.g. My 14 year old did a lot of sketching and comic strip designing in the Easter hols. When I was growing up this also led to us picking up a book (mum didn't mind if we were sunbathing or slobbing out on a sofa if we were reading), self-taught guitar playing, recording radio shows on cassettes to send to penfriends, setting up garage sales. etc.

Agree with this. If two people approach something differently, that doesn't automatically make one of them wrong.

and maybe the family member feels for your kids?

When I see the word 'overscheduled' I replace it in my head with 'jealous' because thats how it comes across. Its a boring trope.

You have no idea what’s going on in the household for example the mother could struggle with mental health issues and need breaks, or the children might have SEN so she needs respite. Some kids also need structure to thrive or they don’t cope well with nothing to do. It’s not really any of your business and I don’t care provided they’re paying for the clubs rather than the state.

This. If you don’t have a more chilled child, it can be fairly relentless.

Id be curious the age of the kids in question, maybe the kids dont have friends around they can easily play with as their friends go away for summer or dont live near.
I also find people with young kids often harp on about 'overscheduling' older kids, when older kids often thrive with more activities and socialising, but the judgy person isnt at that stage yet to know, but somehow thinks they are the superior parent

Yes, I agree. Why are some people so judgemental over other’s parenting, it does sound like envy.

There are all sorts of kids clubs too, some are very activity focussed (like specific sports clubs), but the majority of the ones where I live have climbing frames, multi use games areas, craft tables, mid kitchens, etc., so the children can be as active or as inactive as they want.

You sound a bit judgey. And you “feel for the kids”. They’re not being sent up a chimney you know.

Chilling at home sounds great but if mine had whole days on end at home they would either be watching far too much you tube or arguing with each other.

We take them away for 2 weeks over the summer where we go somewhere remote and just chill but other than that they do quite a few clubs that they enjoy. Even then though they are most often back by 3pm which, in the summer, leaves plenty of time for chilling out. And weekends.

For example, if I have my 7 yr old at home with me all day, he literally follows me around asking me to play football/ tennis/ cricket with him. I am crap at all of these and our garden isn’t great for it either. Much better for him to go to a sports club with others who can play with him and actually enjoy it!

I loved being home with mine and enjoying that long stretch of unstructured time. They usually found a project of some sort to get their teeth into and I think there’s huge value in under-scheduling. But I always find myself going slowly but inexorably insane over the course of the summer so I never judge what other dps do to survive.

Also, what ages are the kids? This makes a massive difference.

Days at home are fine if you have a large house and garden. I have neither. So I pack picnics and we plan playdates, days up in London, other outings, walks, visiting family etc. We’re lucky we can afford to do this, but there’s so much in all locations that’s free. I agree children need rest, but if mine are at home too long they climb the walls and watch too much TV. I’d far rather be out with them at a museum, blackberrying or picknicking at the beach.

My DS is in loads of sports clubs over the summer and I’m a teacher! He loves doing some different sports that he doesn’t get to do the rest of the year and he’s with friends. We will have family days out and chill time at home but he enjoys it. My DD is too old for clubs now but didn’t do quite as many- maybe the odd drama week. I don’t know why you would ‘feel for the kids’…

I don't know how old you are-if you have young kids you could be anywhere between twenties and fifties, at least.
But let's guess at you being an elder Millennial. Your parents would have probably just let you out without knowing where you were (with no mobile!) and expected someone else's mum would have known you were with Jason, Jessica and Rebecca and would be back for tea.
More recently, parents just aren't allowed to do this, though I agree that for most kids, being out was liberating, helped us grow up and was positive. And I'm sorry my kids will never have that freedom of no one knowing exactly where they are. But the world has changed. Or at least, our perception has.

Everyone is different, even the children. One of mine would happily spend days on end at home with her dolls and a sports camp would be her worst nightmare, the other is very outdoorsy and sociable and likes lots of structured activities and company. You mention that the person you are talking about works though but short hours, it sounds like you do not see this person's job as 'proper work' and therefore think they should sack it off for the summer? No way could I work with both my DC in the house under my care.

Older kids are also awake for a lot longer and their camps often shorter - if they take 3 hours out of the day for a club of some sort, they're still awake for 12 more hours to laze about!

We both work so when dc were primary aged they had to be in holiday clubs. Now they won't do anything they want to be at home but the days are LONG so I do keep suggesting various options aimed at teenagers. Even if they just did one long day it would break the week up a bit.

Jealous? Why? I could do the same, but actually enjoy spending time with my kids and it won’t last forever

Young

Yes we do those too, i’m talking about constant, scheduled activities & clubs away from you