AIBU to think children do not need packed summer schedules?

[Didhereallyleavethecountryinabetterplace]

We have finished school where we are. We live in a warm place by the beach and swimming pools and so many things to do.
A family member has signed her children up to hundreds of activities and different camps. She doesn’t really work or at least not many hours and from home, they have plenty of money and a large home and garden.
I completely understand full time working parents having to rely on camps/clubs etc. But if you don’t/didn’t have to, is there anything wrong with just letting your kids relax and be at home with you and their friends a bit?
I love mine being off, do get overwhelmed sometimes yes, but generally love it and we can find lots to do and days that we don’t do much, they can relax-watch tv, play in the garden, do crafts, go for a bike ride, swim and so on.
Why do some have to be so over scheduled, especially when they have that normally with school then clubs and homework every night
As a child, I remember loving just lolling around, seeing friends and having some days not really doing much

I don’t understand it

The thing with saying they should be seeing friends is that you don't actually know whether their friends are going to be around and available or not. If a parent knows the DC are likely to benefit from social access to kids outside the home, actually the most reliable way to get that may very well be paid activities. You'd need implausibly detailed knowledge of their friend's mates holiday and parents annual leave plans to have any real idea how much friend time is realistic.

Oh I loved summer clubs so much as a child! I would have been mid primary in age and there was a full time nanny at home (so no necessity for me to go) but I adored the week of short tennis, the week of making plaster of Paris masks etc etc. I used to bug my parents endlessly to be allowed to go. I loved seeing my friend to but clubs were such a joy!

My child is naturally very athletic and high energy so would be bored with chilled out days every day. We've booked a mix of tennis, maths and multisports clubs to break it up a bit, she's excited to go so.. why not.

So do you think a lack of money is driving the OP's judgement?

It sounds as if your kids have the same sort of summer holidays l had,and loved. There might be one organised thing in the holiday-the cinema or going to a museum or something,but no more than that.

As a kid I asked to sign up to every club, camp and activity going in the holidays! My parents would happily have let me stay home with my siblings if I'd wanted to.

But kids need to learn to entertain themselves, independence and resilience to support their advancement into adulthood when not everything goes your way. If there is SEN or a diagnosed need to provide perpetual structured attention, that's fair enough. But for a child who just has a different temperament, you're not teaching them anything by pandering to them.

Hmm, but as an adult you have the autonomy to go out and do things, so it's very different. A person who enjoys structure and feeling busy can fill their life as an adult with work, volunteering, gym, hobbies, or anything else that's accessible to them and takes their fancy. Some people always do better with a routine. Some people like jobs that are constantly full on and then several gym classes afterwards. It is actually quite possible to build a life that doesn't involve having to tolerate hours of bored frustration in the house if that's not your thing.

I do get a sense of a lot of pressure families feel to ‘do’ something with their children. And that they are failing somehow if they don’t . I agree, some take it too far .
And if you do entertain them all the time they learn to expect others to attend to their entertainment. Always.
Thinking or doing things for themselves takes less priority.

They miss out developing an imagination, or just doing whatever it is they fancy doing.

I think it depends on audits and their kids.

My ds was an extremely quiet child who could entertain himself for hours. He did t need nor want constant attention and loved quiet days at home building with Lego for hours.

Therefore I could have lazy days where I could read/ litter doing housework, watch TV etc.

My friend with a DD the same loved doing housework far more than me and her younger DD was not able to self entertain, constantly talked and made demands etc.
this then wound up the eldest who wanted a look in on mums time.

we both work education and our summers looked very different.

we’d meet up 2/3 times during the week for just an hour or so at the park, swimming or whole days out.

either side of that she used clubs for both or 1 at a time as that worked for her and her kids.

I didn’t as ds wasn’t as sociable and chatty and o could crack on if he was home.

We were both right because we both did what worked for us and our children.

Packed schedules are not for me. But everyone is different.

Some children do, others don't. Some parents do need their kids to be busy, other don't. Some families do need this, other don't.

Since we're not all robots, we have different needs. Why do you care so much about what your relative is doing during their summer holiday?

I’ve probably not learned as much as I ought to have done in my years, but one thing I have learned is that there isn’t only one ‘correct’ or best way to raise children.

My brother and his lovely wife took a different approach in some matters to us, but thank God, all of our children are functional decent loving adults.

Best not to judge.

I used to try and pack in a lot of different things for DD, some clubs, but lots of going out to museums/libraries activities, special events. She would rather have stayed at home a lot of the time. Same now!

I can remember being unbelievably bored in the summer as a kid, my good friends were all shipped off to grandparents. I never even heard of a holiday club but I would have loved it.

I did camps and holiday clubs all through the summer as a child, and I loved them. The more the better in my opinion.

Also kids being at home, especially late primary school, isnt the same as when I was a child - we were all allowed out in bikes and exploring etc. this seems discouraged in cities now. I sent my 8yo to the local shop once, and a well meaning woman was extremely concerned and walked back with them to check if I knew they were roaming alone

I agree. I spent entire summers doing nothing. My daughter plays a sport and does that a bit over the summer but nothing else. When she was small and I had to use camps I felt so guilty for the reasons you state. I felt she deserved to lay around after the school year was over, but sometimes we just couldn’t manage it.

Children need to have time where they have to make their own entertainment, so to speak.

Exactly this. Being expected to spend lengthy periods in the home, often with no other child there, is actually a pretty new state of affairs. Until very recently children would've had more immediate access to the peer group and more freedom to roam to find it.

When I was a kid I hated being summer activities all summer long but I'm a homebody and prefer to read/play video games/just hang out outside. However my DD can't sit still so I had to keep her busy during the summer. So I think it depends on personality, at least that's how I would determine activity level for my kids.

It really does depend I work all week mostly from home so really lucky. When DD was younger I would take mon-wed off and we would fill our days and then she went to her dads Wednesday evening to Friday and he would do the same. Now she’s almost 13 she prefers going out with her friends. We finished end of June and she’s been out almost everyday with her friends kicking about or swimming as it’s free or shopping with them. We done a day out together and she’s going out with my parents on Sunday but she isn’t a huge fan of going out day trips now and then is fine for her. I let her lead the way with it all. I’m working all throughout summer as I’m being made redundant next month so can’t take holidays. We have booked a weekend away for September to make up for it. Come end of September she will be hibernating for 6/7 months lol! And she is one of those kids who sleeps until 11/12 😂 I went into office yesterday half day came in the door at half 12 and she was running around doing dishes and getting ready as I told her she better be up ready dishes done and put away and washing machine on….. she had just woken at 12 😂

I think like everything there is a middle ground. It is good for children to sometimes be bored but I'm not sure that spending 6 weeks at home without other children to mix with is particularly healthy. Going to a club where you learn a new skill and to socialise with other children that you do not usually mix with can be really beneficial for children's confidence and social skills.

Why is scheduling activities for a child who likes scheduled activity pandering, but allowing a child who just wants to be at home all the time or only likes low-key things to do so not pandering?

Realistically, the most successful and fulfilled adults aren't the ones who spend all their leisure time staying home and watching Netflix.

It's up to her. You don't need to understand it. Each to their own.

Where does it say not mixing with other children?

Don’t you and your kids have friends to meet up with

You can't actually presume the other kids in any given social circle are going to be available much/at all over summer, because of holidays and working parents needing childcare. I expect it's unusual for there not to be any scope to meet up at all. But it's also entirely conceivable that the overlapping free days are few and far between, and not enough to stop a child who wants company from being lonely outside of formal activities.