AIBU to feel hurt my husband holidayed without me and baby?

[Pepetheparrot]

To think its a bit off that my husband is going on holiday today without me and his 4 month old son? I have no family nearby and we stay rurally (which was his choice) - its a 20 minute drive to city.

No, not normal.
Why have you moved so far out?
Go back to work as soon as you can.
He's an arsehole and you have made a huge mistake marrying him and having a baby.
Have you family to go to?

An I missing something here…surely you’re part of his family and would be going.

Why weren’t you invited? You haven’t really given us the full picture here.

You are being unreasonable to think it is 'a bit off'.
On the face of it, without any context or background, it is very off.
So, what are you going to do about it?

The way you have drip fed very limited information makes me lean to you are being unreasonable somehow. However on the face of it being abandoned with a 4 month old whilst DH swans off to enjoy himself seems shit.

But I am another one that thinks living rurally but with a city you can reach in 20 mins sounds like an excellent best of both worlds.

We need more info

Were you not invited?

What type of holiday is it?

How long is it?

I think it’s fine to go on holiday without your partner (I wouldn’t want to take a 4 month old anyway) and I’m not sure what the relevance of the city being 20mins away, I assume you drive and that there is a closer shop.

I would ordinarily say it’s fine but obviously you’re not happy and so I am conflicted.

What are your concerns exactly?

Why so little information, OP? Context is all.

I was sympathetic on first reading, but on reflection, if you are as unforthcoming in your communication with him as you have been here, then maybe he has his reasons.

Does nobody like you? What's the context? Big family event?

I'm just going to assume that there's something you're not telling us which means that actually he's not being unreasonable at all.

Maybe you're not going as he tried to talk to you about you going and you gave very little information on how you felt etc. This post is hard work.

Were you invited?

Same - unless OP doesn't drive or something, that sounds like an excellent location. I live in a large town, and it still takes me 20 minutes to walk to my nearest supermarket, and 30 minutes to walk into town.

Well, that does indeed sound very hurtful. 4 months old is not too young to come on holiday. Why didn't they invite you and the baby? Do you normally get on with them?

Ask him if DH, you & the baby will be having a holiday together this year

Or if
you & the baby can go on holiday this year

I live rurally but can get into Oxford in 20 minutes. It’s not London, Manchester or Birmingham but it’s a city.

It's strange his family think it is OK for him to go away without you when you have such a young baby. Is it a real holiday, ie a week or more, or a couple of nights somewhere for a special event or function?

I'm surprised he didn't run it by you and that you were not included. Did you not tell him how you felt about it when it was first mentioned?

This is difficult to understand but I cannot help wondering if the two of you are unhappy in your marriage. I do hope that is not the case.

There are swathes of isolated rural areas on ‘the tops’ (in the middle of a moor) in W Yorks that would only be a 20 min drive to a small city.

You need to give more information about the circumstances eg:
Were you not invited?
Or were you invited but chose not to go?

I'd be hurt, although that isn't necessarily reasonable. The thing is though, if you literally can't go wherever he's gone, because of the baby, then yes I'd be a bit hurt. It's his baby too. However, if you said you didn't want to go, or if it's a stag do or special occasion, you're unreasonable to be angry with him, but not unreasonable to be sad he went without you.

It's 2 sentences ...

Surely there’s shops between you and Oxford though?

Rurally means no shops nearby.

I don’t know any cities that aren’t surrounded by areas of small towns or supermarkets.

I’m wondering if OP is not English and meant to say town, so her closest shop is 20mins away.
If the city is only 20mins away then there are bound to be shops in between.

Need lots more context op to answer your question.

Also, 20 mins drive to somewhere is nothing. Do you drive?

I was loosely invited but I opted not to go as his 95 year old mother said it was hurtful I wanted to stay in an AC hotel due to the heat near London