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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be put off after he poured wine on the floor?

342 replies

Magnesiun · Today 14:04

2nd date, sat in restaurant and we each had a glass of wine. He commented that he wasn’t keen on the wine and said he’d get a soft drink next time. I finished my drink and he had half of his glass left so I said I was going to get another drink and did he want to get a soft drink now or was he going to finish his wine. He picked up the glass, tipped the wine onto the floor (!!!!!!) and said “finished” and laughed. Several people saw him do it. I was mortified and said “did you really just tip that onto the floor??” And he acted like he was a bit embarrassed but laughed and said he didn’t like it. Waitress came across, noticed the puddle on the floor and he laughed and said “sorry about that” whilst looking at me like he was expecting me to laugh.

after the date he messaged me saying he’d had a good time and asked if I had and I replied “I’m still processing the sight of someone purposely spilling half a glass of wine onto a restaurant floor….” And he replied “still on that? Seriously? 😂”

am I over reacting?? It’s really put me off

OP posts:
Yourcousinrachel · Today 17:50

Backedoffhackedoff · Today 14:21

This answer is almost as mental as the guy throwing his wine on the floor 🤣🤣🤣

Actually it definitely shows entitlement and that very well could be a narcissist or a sociopath. A sociopath breaks rules to get what they want. You can have a narcissistic sociopath. Anyway we cannot know. but certainly a huge red flag to avoid like the plague. No respect for property or the person having to clean up.

Dweetfidilove · Today 17:50

We have to normalise ending dates early. Honestly, I'd have blocked him before I got home. What more can you possibly have to say to him?

AnaisVB · Today 17:55

How could he possibly think that is ok? It’s rude and entitled , not in the least bit funny and just plain odd tbh. Has if ever left his house before?! Definitely massive turn off for me.

EmailsaysOOO · Today 17:58

He's a child..Find a grown adult

TheReflectiveQualityofGlass · Today 17:59

Is he 2? I’d understand a toddler throwing food or drink they don’t like on the floor but dear god, a grown man?!! So someone now has to clean that up? And that’s him still in the trying to impress stage. Wow.

Dumbledora8 · Today 17:59

He is a fucking weirdo

Baking07 · Today 18:01

I actually cannot fathom continuing an evening in the face of such behaviour.
Much less pondering seeing him again.

newberry · Today 18:05

Wtaf

No you are not being unreasonable

shhblackbag · Today 18:05

Dweetfidilove · Today 17:50

We have to normalise ending dates early. Honestly, I'd have blocked him before I got home. What more can you possibly have to say to him?

I so agree with this.

twohotwaterbottles · Today 18:07

How he treats people in a service industry (someone had to clean that up) tells you all you need to know about him. Dump. Tell him why. Move on.

TimeFlysWhenYoureHavingRum · Today 18:07

This sounds like some kind of "test" / mindgame. Run.

giddyaunt19 · Today 18:08

Dweetfidilove · Today 17:50

We have to normalise ending dates early. Honestly, I'd have blocked him before I got home. What more can you possibly have to say to him?

This

Mamabear8864 · Today 18:08

He’s a weirdo, imagine him with children, scary.

TheFormerMrsTruelove · Today 18:10

The contempt that he has shown for the member of staff who has had to clean that up, is not something I’d be able to get over. If this is what he’s like in public, when he’s going all out to impress you, I dread to think what he’s like in private when he’s comfortable with you.

I don’t really understand why you didn’t speak up at the time, tell him he was a fucking chimp, and ask the member of staff if she’d be able to bring him some cleaning materials so he could clean it up.

ReyRey12 · Today 18:20

Soubds like he thinks service industry workers don't deserve basic respect as humans. There would not be 3rd date.

Fatandknowit · Today 18:21

So sorry - hit YABU by mistake.

YAdeffodeffodeffoNBU!

BlueHydrangea7 · Today 18:23

You have to wonder who he has been around all his life to make him think this kind of behaviour is amusing. His friends and family must be arrogant, entitled dickheads.

He's a monumental embarrassment and then tries to gaslight you into thinking you're the weird one for going on about it. Please don't see him again.

winter8090 · Today 18:26

Definitely would put me off.
I’m trying to decide if i would try and see if it was a one off (through nervousness for example) or a pattern of behaviour.

Sassylovesbooks · Today 18:27

All he did was show himself up in front of you and other diners. So, he didn't like the wine, he didn't have to drink it. He could have easily left it. He chose to deliberately pour the wine on the floor instead. It was juvenile, and showed a complete lack of respect to the restaurant, you and other people in there enjoying a meal. I wonder if it was an attempt to 'show off' in front of you? If so, it backfired.

I wouldn't be keen on having another date. It depends if you like him? I may go for a fourth, to give him the benefit of the doubt... possibly!!

Plasticdreams · Today 18:32

Op has disappeared and only made one post. I'm not sure this is legit.

ConstantlyFuriosa · Today 18:36

Another thread to rile people up, I think.

ClairDeLaLune · Today 18:37

Darragon · Today 14:09

Write "you're dumped" on a whoopee cushion. It's probably about his intellectual level.

Haha! Do this OP!

Comeinsideforacupoftea · Today 18:38

Come on OP! This isn't just a quirk it's thoroughly unpleasant and weird behaviour. I don't think you need a mn thread to tell you you should be running a mile

Loveinbloom · Today 18:39

Glitterbiscuits · Today 14:14

You can tell a lot about a person’s character by how they treat people who can do nothing for them.

Or how they treat restaurant staff........

take10yearsofmylife · Today 18:44

YABU to even ask 😂

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