Old lady keeps approaching my toddler, making me feel uncomfortable

[housinghun]

I have a 2 year old and and when we go out sometimes we will see an older lady (about 60s early 70s) and she will always approach my son.

It started off as "Can I say hello?".
I agreed.

Next time she attempted to remove his cap "to see his face".
This made me feel extremely uncomfortable, touching my son.

OH took our son out last week and he told me that an old lady had smiled through the window at them as they walked past.
She had come running out the house and shouted "hello" but by that time they were gone down the road.
It was her.
I had never really mentioned this to him and this was the first time he has seen her.

I know it's innocent but it makes me feel really uncomfortable now going past as I don't want a stranger touching my son.

I did tell her "please don't touch him" as I don't want him getting used to strangers touching him.

I am over protective of my son but just wanted others views.
AIBU to feel this way?

AIBU

Extremely

Get help for this anxiety, your poor child.

Your petty and mean spirited ! She is probably lonely, you could learn some kindness from her and in turn would help you son grow up into a kind human !

Just politely ask her not to try and remove his cap if she does it again. I bet she will listen. You do sound like the highlight of her day.. but yeah, can get annoying quick if can't walk past without her running out to stop you.

I've often sat near really cute toddlers on the bus and I have smiled, waved and said hello if they've been looking at me. I have never touched them because would be completely inappropriate. I wouldn't go running after them either.

Tell her to fuck off then.

This wouldn't bother me but I come from a touchy feely culture where touching a baby is friendly and not assault.🤨

@TheChaffinch "the lady up the road came over and put a coin in the babies hand."

That happened to me too! When my son was a baby in the late 70's the elderly lady next door put a coin in his hand. I think it was a ten pence piece. We'd just moved into our first home, a little one bed cottage. She was a lovely lady called Miss Winchester. I still think of her. I guess it must've been an old tradition.

I agree. She’s older, possibly lonely, wants to engage. Try and empathise with her.

FFS it was alarming and uncomfortable having old ladies and men approach the baby’s pram in Spring 2020 and having to remind them to stay back. Now it is awkward if you have to remind them multiple times not to touch but it’s also healthy for them, you, and your little one to practice appropriate social skills.

my 4yo has learned how to start a conversation from our walks and will happily approach neighbours and ask them their name and age 😂

My god, a whole lot of assumptions about the woman concerned.🙄
Similar age, I smile at babies and young kids if they look at me esp. on the bus, but I'm not lonely, happily married 24 + years and def no dementia😀
I love how the d word gets trotted out on here so much, or at least used to. If you are 50 plus and 'behave differently', MNers used to say could it be dementia? it's insulting but funny at the same time. No, we're just old gits who don't sweat trival rubbish like the young 'uns. Most of be like it one day yourselves, shaking your heads at the younger generations beh and smiling to yourselves.

Op think about how fast the last 5 years went by - only 6 x that is 30 years - add that to your age - people feel 25 inside when they are in their 80s - she misses her toddlers thats all

It's seemed @BettyJoanPerske needed it highlighted!

Next year: "I don't have a village".

God, I once happpily handed baby DS over to an older couple in a cafe for a cuddle. I even went to get myself a tea (albeit I could see them at all time). I think it's perfectly fine.

For the record, I discovered recently that the older lady who works in the dry cleaner on the corner, who always enjoyed a little wave and chat with DS when he was a toddler and we used to go past, still talks to him today and he's a strapping 14 year old!!! Apparently if he walks past with friends the always wave and say hello. She tells me he's very polite and pleasant. I'm not sure what shocked me more - that they still remember each other or that he is, apparently, quite chatty! :)

Absolutely! Or " I wish we were more like traditional cultures where mums are supported".

Neither would I. But I have plenty of other human contact in my life, including with small children. Perhaps the old lady in question doesn’t.

Who said anything about daycare🙄i was responding to your statement about how responses would be different if it was an elderly man approaching OP and her baby instead of an elderly woman!!

She’s just being friendly, perhaps she’s lonely. And 60’ish is not elderly🙄

As is usual on MN, why is her age relevant? Ageism showing again.

Your being completely unreasonable. She's not trying to lure him away. She's probably lonely and being friendly. If it doesn't work for you fine, but no need to imply it's an assault. That's bonkers.

You’ve diagnosed a complete stranger on the internet. Madness.

I agree with this. I fit the demographic of the old lady here but I am a natural introvert so 1) I wouldn't consider interrupting your kids day (and even if I was an extrovert, I think it's disrespectful) and 2) I wish my Mum had been like you. I hated physical interaction with adults when I was a kid. I was getting kissed and hugged by people (mostly family) and I used to panic when meeting people because I knew I had to accept being touched and kissed when the interaction was at an end.

I have also had cold sores all my life that I probably caught from this.

Yes I suppose I was assuming quite a lot but that's all one can do with the information at hand. It is possible that she's lonely, especially as she's waving from the window at a passing toddler, so not a completely "out there" theory. Perhaps I should've mentioned that I'm actually 70 and a widow myself. But babies and toddlers don't particularly float my boat. Dogs on the other hand I can't resist.

This is the most MN thread ever.
Next: how to disinfect your kids after strangers touch them by dowsing them in sheep dip or similar.