Old lady keeps approaching my toddler, making me feel uncomfortable

[housinghun]

I have a 2 year old and and when we go out sometimes we will see an older lady (about 60s early 70s) and she will always approach my son.

It started off as "Can I say hello?".
I agreed.

Next time she attempted to remove his cap "to see his face".
This made me feel extremely uncomfortable, touching my son.

OH took our son out last week and he told me that an old lady had smiled through the window at them as they walked past.
She had come running out the house and shouted "hello" but by that time they were gone down the road.
It was her.
I had never really mentioned this to him and this was the first time he has seen her.

I know it's innocent but it makes me feel really uncomfortable now going past as I don't want a stranger touching my son.

I did tell her "please don't touch him" as I don't want him getting used to strangers touching him.

I am over protective of my son but just wanted others views.
AIBU to feel this way?

AIBU

I know. Old lady but only in her 60s lol

Aye, let's live in a world like that, eh? Blank lonely, old women who only want to say hello and have their day brightened by seeing a lovely, wee baby. The world's becoming a poorer place by the day...

Working on probabilities and percentages it is extremely unlikely. But even so, unless the "old lady" is single handedly going to knock the OP unconscious and snatch her child away, then how is she going to assault the toddler? Admittedly this could all be a cunning ruse and the old lady could be a decoy for a lurking vehicle (or something equally sinister) but really if we're going to think like that then we'd never go out at all.

I thought that this place was against the whole 'be kind' mandate!?

It's so patronising that everyone is presuming she's lonely.

You’ve got a cute baby who smilesand grins at people. Maybe he does a special smile and grin at this lady. If you’re getting this worked up about what’s happening now, you’re gonna find life hell when he’s running in parks and nurseries

Oh for God's sake, just use your words! If you don't want her touching your son, say so!

I get the not touching bit but otherwise this is a bit OTT.
I knew someone who didn't like strangers looking at her baby, she had anxiety that was through the roof but she did get help with that and calmed down quite a lot as a result.

Unlikely, yes, but at the end of the day it is the OP's child and if she feels uncomfortable, she should honour that. She doesn't owe some random old woman kindness.

Agreed. And so many people feeling 'uncomfortable' about very ordinary things.

I dare say things younger mums think are alright today, tomorrows mums will consider completely wrong or inappropriate.
The thread of tomorrow will be berating a mum of today who has done something completely innocent but viewed as bad.

Goodness the world has gone mad. An "old" lady being friendly, lets equate it to assault. What happened to, "it takes a village to raise a child". Also why the reference to her age Op?, implying some loss of faculties.

On a personal note 60 isn't "old", Opp I'm early 60's, I willing to bet good hard cash that I have a higher IQ than you AND that I can run a marathon faster than you.

Old lady 🤣 Women of this age are a huge portion of Mumsnet demographics 🤣🤣🤣

Gosh. That's sad.

I don't think you can really compare the 2 😮

And this why thousands live in lonely isolation. Why society is crumbling. Why people walk past a sick or injured person in the street.

I actually feel sorry for you if this is your view. You too are going to end up alone and lonely.

Oh no, an old(er) woman is trying to be nice to your toddler, how will you both cope? Smiling and waving through the window sounds especially traumatic.

I can see why the UK is becoming less friendly.... jesus.

Oh, stop it 🙄
She touched his hat, she didn’t “touch” him inappropriately.
Walk in the other direction if you can’t handle ordinary human interaction.

I think it’s fine to remind her “oh sorry as we’ve said before, he doesn’t like being touched, would you mind not doing that?”. But other than that YABU. A bit of social interaction is very good for children, much better than being on sodding you tube non stop, and she’s not doing any harm. It doesn’t sound as though your DS is upset by this, he will be out of the young and cute stage before you know it and it probably brightens up her day.

@Tourmalines and @youngwhippersnapper, I said jokingly
to my 30 year old niece, while comparing screenshots shots of our vitals from our bathroom scales, all better than hers by the way, “your old aunty” and she said “your not old” and meant it, so there is hope.

Exactly, let's not forget that most people in their 60s are working full time jobs still and are not in any way elderly.

Yes according to ops parameters I'm 'an old lady' too🙄 frequently entertain toddlers who are getting fractious in supermarket trollies in queues as despite being old i remember what it was like being a mum to little children and i love them, in fact one mum left hers with me whilst she ran off to get something she forgot so I must look trustworthy not 'lonely and with early dementia' and a risk to her child.

@TheChaffinch same thing happened to me with my first, 40+ years ago, an old gentleman (at least 80 not 60🤣) put two pound coins in my newborns hand in the pram. I had to ask someone what it was about (after wet wiping said baby's hand out of sight so as not to offend) it's supposed to bring them luck and riches throughout their life🥰

For the lady involved this may have cheered her whole month...these social connections matter so much when older people may have been bereaved, family travelled away etc...

Thanks for sharing

Me too, I'm 62 also and feel quite offended to be classed as an 'old lady'.