Is it too late for a third baby?

[Yolo12345]

I’m fit and healthy and have two children - 9 and 7…but I really feel I would like one more child. The thing is I’m 47…. I still have periods…and have lots of energy…, so AIBU?

Awkward age gap, too late, your children don't need a baby or toddler taking up all your attention while they navigate puberty.

Can you ensure that you won't be a burden on your young adult child?
It's not a great age gap for your kids either. The third could end up feeling left out if the older 2 are close.
I think you're being rather selfish.

My great grandma had her last at 47, but I wouldn't do it.

Yes, too late. I can't fathom wanting to be navigating my child's A-Levels in my late 60s.

I had triplet friends at school whose parents were 60 and 46 when she gave birth. They were both dead before my friends turned 20.

I don't understand why people start these threads. There's one every couple of weeks! Of course 47 is too late to start trying for a baby. Far too late.

@Yolo12345 Don't do it. You will be nearly 50 when its born!!! You will get all these 'my great auntie Maud, and my great gran had a baby at 48. 50, 52' type posts, but pay no attention to them. Most of them very likely took on a young female family member's baby and raised it as their own.

Also women who actually DID have babies at roughly that age - naturally (which would have been very few) did so because there was no contraception. No way would any level headed woman be having a baby by choice at nearly 50! (Well, very VERY few!) You just have this craving because you're about to hit menopause and it's the 'last chance saloon.'

Many women get this. I did. And I did try for a baby at 42 - though, not 47. I already had 2 who were in their early teens... I didn't fall pregnant and I'm soooooo glad I didn't. If I had fallen pregnant with a 3rd one (and I'd had the baby at 43-44) I'd have a school age teenager at 60! 😱

I had a third with a 4 year age gap between the last 2. I was almost 10 years younger than you when I had third and it is way harder than I remember, particularly the toddler years. Primary aged kids need so much parenting still, and that is hard throwing another into the mix

Our age gap was bigger than we wanted for a number of reasons, but it eas definitely long enough to forget how hard toddlers are. I dont regret DC3 for one minute, but it's harder than I thought it would be.

This is just hormones talking OP, it’s insane.

I’m 55 no way I could I cope with a 6-7 year old on top of 2 older kids. My youngest has just finished school.

And if the baby has some kind of special needs or disability it unbalance the dynamic of your existing family.

You have no concept of what menopause will do to you.

47 is just silly. Come on! Why do it to yourself and your existing children? You had your time. It’s up. Embrace and accept the next chapter.

It's difficult to accept the end of your fertility, and the end of having children. Many women struggle with this. Have you started perimenopause yet? Because let me tell you, that is a ROUGH stage of life, and to do that with a newborn or toddler would be so much harder. You just won't have the patience you need to get through those years with a baby. And being almost 70 when your child would be 20 is not fair on them, as another poster said.

Women had no choice then.

One of my grandmothers had her last child (of 14!) at 44.

Two aunts had ‘oops…thought it was the menopause!’ babies at 46 and 47 respectively (one of whom was born with complex disabilities).

This was Catholic Ireland when contraception wasn’t available and abortion was illegal, though. Not a choice.

This.

More than one poster has said they did it at 45 even though if they made a thread about it on MN everyone would be telling them it’s too late.

You can but try. Prenatal testing for genetic issues has come along way and can test for the most common age related problems.

This definitely falls into the even if you could it doesn’t mean you should category.
in response to your edited comments about prenatal screening
That just means you’re going to put yourself your body and your family through an abortion. None of these things are easy processes. Particularly after 14 weeks, they’re pretty bloody horrific.
That could wipe out an entire year of effective parenting for your existing children
Never mind a year of damaging your career while you try to juggle that as well which by the time your children are age 9, you should be

God no. Even without any genetic issues I wouldn't be relishing the prospect of parenting a teenager in my 60s.

I mean try and see? What’s the point in asking here

Do what is best for your existing kids and the potential new baby, you mean.

It’s never too late if you physically can. I have two aunts who had children later in life. One had her first and only child at 45. Her daughter is now 30, has two children of her own and my Aunt is a happy grandmother. She loved having her daughter and I think it meant the world to her. The other Aunt had her third baby at 47. Her other children were teenagers. It was a lot different and a lot harder. She struggled with doing it effectively with a different generation of parents with different ideas, a lot of her friends were enjoying freedom and space and she was still doing kid stuff. Weekends spent at football matches and football training.
Just think very carefully about what you want to be doing in your 50s and 60s is the only advice I would offer.

Didn't Cherie Blair have her fourth one at about your age? I mean they'd have had loads of money and nannies but still, I don't think she or the baby came to any harm.

What does your DP think?

Maybe she wants to put a little bit more thought into creating a new human than "let's see what happens"?

Was going to say this. I’d get your hormones checked as I suspect you may be in first stages of peri and could start a form of HRT now - and even if you aren’t the quality of your eggs mean that getting pregnant and remaining pregnant at this stage is less likely - so you’d just be setting yourself up for heartache.

Been there (though much younger) and you don’t want to be grappling with that with young children who need you, especially with transition to secondary school coming up soon. Take a deep breath… adopt a spaniel!

It's far too late.The risks will be really high. Its not a question of sod other people at all. Its risks to OP's health and health of a future baby. And the risk of miscarriage is extremely high.

Children's futures don't look so bright now, so I personally wouldn't think it's a great time to have a baby, especially since you are middle aged and already have two. (IMO not fair on the baby, not fair on your other two)

I would think you incredibly selfish if you did. But I guess...... go for it?

Children's futures don't look so bright now, so I personally wouldn't think it's a great time to have a baby, especially since you are middle aged and already have two. (IMO not fair on the baby, not fair on your other two)

I would think you incredibly selfish if you did. But I guess...... go for it?

More likely one of her daughters had a baby out of wedlock when grandma was 47 and they handed the baby to her to raise to avoid the shame.

Yes

There are women with excellent health and fertility who can conceive naturally at your age. I’d say go for it, but the gap between potential baby and older two is probably too much. Do you even have your baby things still?