AIBU to refuse my daughter a debit card for school trips?

[Pinkflamingo98]

Daughter has 3 school trips next week, she apparently got told that the places she will be going are card only and has asked if she can take one of our debit cards. Both me and her dad are very reluctant to do so, we have said we will give her a decent packed lunch with some goodies and a few “nice drinks” but she is dead set on wanting our card. Are we being unreasonable for sticking to saying no and not sending her with any money?
we can’t get her a card as it is far too late for us to be able to set her up one

I'm surprised that schools will accommodate 30/60 ish kids queuing for ice creams. My youngest is in her mid twenties now, and I don't recall sending her o school trips with anything other than a substantial packed lunch and plenty of water. It really never occurred to parents to send them with money, cash or card. I really don't get it.

This.
You haven't said what age she is but presuming she is not five years old. Mine all have Revolut cards since they were nine years old. We are slowly evolving as a cashless society, surely you realise that. Mine would have a "nice packed lunch and drinks" too but they'd have their cards, like all the others. How do you allocate pocket money? Is it cash?

This. So she feels left out? So what, it builds resilience for the real world and seriously, what does a kid need to buy on these trips?

Making sure a child is set up to be independent isn’t pandering!

I think it's become the norm for children to have cards for when they start secondary, as this is when they are likely to be going to places on their own. My son hasn't yet used his, but I expect he will end up buying sweets or drinks on his way to or from from school once he goes on his own.

I link it to cash being less accepted in many places. Even to use the public toilets in town you have to pay by card.

I mean, they don't need to buy anything but it would be nice if she had the means to get an ice-cream or something from a shop if she gets peckish or too hot.

It's not about "pandering".

As an adult though you can be prepared to overcome those issues. As a child it is harder.
I know if someone is organising a meal and I can't afford it for example I might be able to say I will join you for a drink after.
A child might not have that ability. All friends go off to queue, do they want to tag along knowing they have no money to buy something or do they end up sitting alone eating their lunch, missing out on the chat that goes on while the friends are in line.

If she has a mobile phone just set her up on Monzo or another online bank so she can tap her phone.

It takes minutes to do, there is time.

@Ghht How is it 'pandering' to set up a child for the world by giving them a means to pay for things and have a bit of independence?

Building 'resilience for the real world' involves giving them a bit of independence and trust.

Loads do. Most of my DC’s friends have had them since primary school when they started going on trips requiring spending money.
Lots started with go Henry or similar but we have cards for a joint account DH and I use when we have a night out. It has no overdraft and we can move money or freeze the card if necessary via the banking app so it was pretty risk free for the kids to use. They’re teens now so all have their own bank accounts and cards.

I absolutely would not give her one of your debit cards. My DH had a fradulent payment of almost £3000 taken out of his account. Part of the investigation was him having to confirm he had not let anyone have access to / use of his card and PIN number.

No to your card. That's a stupid idea but why doesn't she have her own card? If she's old enough to go on a school trip and be paying for her own stuff she is old enough to have a pre- loaded card. There are loads out there and most banks do kids accounts with cards. It teaches them about money ( and you can send them to the shops to pick up bread etc 😆). Mine had their own from 11.

And stop any overdraft facility you may have.? Sounds ridiculous.

Have ppl on MN no common sense, transfer the balance out of it and leave £20/30 available.
The paranoid and stupidity here is shocking.

I’d say build resilience when it’s you dealing with your child.
We often run all day trips where we will stop at Starbucks for a drink.
We say in info what plan is and child needs card in their own name.
A sad child sitting watching their friends all have a drink becomes the leaders problem. It’s really tricky as you don’t know if the mum will appreciate you offering to buy one (and give you money after) eg mum has forgotten or if mum is deliberately not wanting them to have a drink - sugar/boycotts Starbucks etc. Supervising large groups of children isn’t easy. Having to check Jane is ok with no drink when she’s sitting there teary is an extra hassle.
There’s no need to give your cards, lots of options for children to have their own.

Prepaid debit card with £10 on it?

so much needs to be paid by card these days so I struggle to see how a 16 year old can manage without one. Would think it really prevents them from being independent, do they not even have one on their phone?
25 years ago I had one from starting high school and since then more and more things have become electronic payments (debit card or online)

We have a post office pre payment card for abroad that we top up and I’m sure when we got it fhe post office gave it to us immediately then you download and app and register the card?

No I wasn’t as they were 16 at the time and it was their money on my card. The account was created specifically for travel and has no overdraft facilities. They have their own ones for this type of account as old enough.

It’s generally easier to open an account as a child than as an adult as banks will usually accept a birth certificate and letter from school as proof of address. The ID requirements as an adult are much stricter. So even if people don’t think they need one just yet, it’s still a good idea to open one - even if it’s used only for saving.

Even Primary school children enjoy buying small gifts/ice cream at the gift shop on a school trip. I stopped taking school trips long before 'card only' was common but would definitely provide a secondary school.pupil with a useable/virtual card.

I would get a post office pre paid card for her.

You don’t mention your child’s age?

Personally for me once they reach secondary school they should have a bank account with a card. Mine has since 11 and they have their cards in their phone wallet.

Depending on where they are going other kids may buy ice cream or small souvenirs etc and daughter may feel left out if everyone else has one and she can’t. Again depending on age most kids just want to fit in and be like their friends and a ‘nice drink’ (what ever that it’s) just won’t cut it.

If the children are below 10 then I wouldn’t expect them to have bank cards on them.

This is the annoying thing about many places like theme parks being cashless. When school trips go there if they are younger children they are not able to buy things such as ice cream etc.
I remember not too long ago my child going to the zoo they were 7 and could take no more then £10 in an envelope given to the teacher who then distributed them out when leaving to go to the gift shop. Would have thought these places notice a difference now school trips don’t spend as much as they use to by going cashless.

Wise and revolut give a virtual card as well that can go on phone wallet instantly.

Lloyd's offer kids debit cards from age 11. I always had access to spot check their on-line accounts and they were fine with only having £50-ish in there at a time. It has only ever been sainsburys / mcdonalds / primark etc on the statements. Nothing dodgy.

Their savings were (and still are) kept in a non-debit card account.