AIBU to not lend a dress to a family member?

[DeathByZaraTrousers]

First world problems, I know.

My daughter had her year 11 prom last year. We bought her a lovely dress for it, not from a prom dress shop but a dress that she could wear again to weddings and parties. She has already worn it to another event. It cost about £500.

Another young person in the family is now asking to borrow it for an event. My daughter doesn’t want to lend it to her as she doesn’t want to risk it being ruined. We are now both getting texts from other family members to say my daughter should lend the dress to the other girl, she’s family, she won’t ruin it, she can’t afford her own etc.

I’ve told my daughter to ignore them, but would other people really lend out their clothes. My daughter would be gutted if it was ruined and I’m sure they wouldn’t pay for it, as they wouldn’t have the money.

Are we being unreasonable to not lend the dress?

@overflowingbin I’m with you. How have we all become so selfish? Come on ladies. Depressing. Truly amazed by these responses.

The only thing worse than cheeky fuckers are the halo polishing virtue signallers who always want to defend the cheeky fuckers.

Possibly yes, I think it's time to consider that you're being a tad odd. But if you have a lot of nice things, an army of rodents and birds you can outsource domestic drudgery to, and a prince charming waiting in the wings then it doesn't matter if Tracy returns one of your ball gowns or not. The squirrels can nibble you a new one from the pelts of baby mice and oak leaves.

I’m sure the feeling is mutual. By all means send OP your details and she can put you in touch with her relatives. You can lend her a dress, hell why not buy her a dress!

I wouldn’t lend it.

Is it a niece wanting to borrow it?

You mean why dont we bow down to the demands of CFers
No

Again, put the glass down and walk away…..you are talking nonsense!

😂😂😂

I have So many stories like this over the years I’ve lost so many things to careless borrowers, not just clothes and shoes. Now I don’t lend unless it’s something I can live without, it took me a long time to learn !

It is not selfish to want to keep and look after a beautiful dress that you will wear again.
It is selfish to ask to lend it, get others involved, knowing full well if it gets ruined you can’t afford to replace it.
I had a beautiful silk dress, very precious to me, returned and the dress was full of cigarette burns. The wearer told me to cut the skirt off and wear it as top.

Very PA to accuse people of drinking if you dont get your own way

Do they know it cost £500 😱?

I can answer all of those questions having never met the OP’s daughter.

1.Yes, OP said she will wear it again
2 No it won’t be framed. She’s an 18 year old school girl. If she were Lady Di, Florence Nightingale or Marilyn Monroe then yes it would be framed.
3 Unlikely to be an heirloom. It’s a £500 prom dress not a Ming vase.

So now we’ve established that, how does that change things? The crux of it is she has a lovely new dress and she doesn’t want to lend it to the poor relation to A. Take the credit B. Potentially ruin it.

Tell the family members who are texting you and your daughter to club together and buy the relative a dress between them. Why do they think you and your daughter have to provide for her!

No, the previous poster was suggesting lend the item but if it got ruined and not replaced, the lender (OPs dd) should end the relationship with the family member.

Personally I wouldn't risk that. I would just not lend the dress in the first place.

Hmmm Ive heard many a story like this, its deliberate and spiteful ,borne of jealousy

Hold on a minute, did you forget that it's nice to be nice?

I haven't got a glass of wine. Will you buy me one please? I don't want to put you out, just send a bevvy of bluetits over with it. They'll know the way. I fancy a zinfandel. Cheers muchly

The nerve of repeatedly asking is crazy. Other flying monkeys! You just know they’ve been slagging you and your dd off behind your backs. Horrible people.

I have never “bowed down” to anyone, in my life. Ever.
I cannot see how you think telling a relative I or one of my DDs will lend her a dress on the condition that it comes back as we lent it, or, if not, it is replaced is “bowing down”. It is not. If they wouldn’t agree to return it in its original condition or replace it if not, it wouldn’t be loaned.

What's depressing is the entitlement. Why do people feel entitled to other peoples things?

It isn't selfish to not want to risk an expensive dress getting ruined when it is known they can't afford to replace it.

I would lend it but insist on £500 cash deposit which they would get back once dress returned undamaged.

I can’t imagine ever asking someone a favour like this. Talk about taking the piss.

Asking to borrow a young girls brand new five hundred quid dress, absolute fucking cheek.

I probably would. Sorry🤷‍♀️.

Zinfandel? I’m sure you do 🤣🤣🤣 but I think you’ve had a tad too much.
OP asked if she was being UR. This is an open forum, I think she is.

Just say NO. End of conversation. No reasons need to be given. If you say it will be ruined, the comeback will be 'no it wont'.