AIBU to feel uneasy about my husband's comment during an argument?

[Plumtotss]

I had quite an intense discussion with my husband - he’s on a spouse visa and we’ve been married for many years now - not gonna go into the ins and outs of everything but he said something that didn’t sit right with me - as our discussion got more heated (he was saying some irritating things about my family, particularly my mum who has always supported him as a son but also throughout his visa journey) and I told him to be more grateful - not in a condescending way but because he was truly being offensive and totally ignorant h
of how kind my family have been even though he’s mistreated them at times. Also, his family were no where to be seen when he needed them most. Then when he said soemthing that was really annoying I said to him that my family has always supported him and they didn’t have to - then he said even if they hadn’t he would have “found another woman” - don’t wanna overthink but is he implying that that's the basis for his stay? Like, he would have just found another woman and started a relationship for the purposes of staying in the UK? Or is is he possibly suggesting his main route would have been marriage as opposed to other visa routes? As mentioned, only he knows what he truly meant by that statement but yeah, doesn’t sit right with me.

I think we can all see where this is going.

Usually, posters are jumping on by now and advising divorce. Usually, I do not approve of divorce because I think marriages are worth fighting for.

However, i do think that OP needs to talk to someone, either a marriage guidance counsellor or a counsellor, possibly her mum - who won't be surprised, or a close friend. Definitely she should be consulting a solicitor.

I think once he has a full visa he will dump OP and find someone else. If he can milk OP family and grab some inheritance first, so much the better.

Forewarned is Forearmed. Find out exactly what the legal situation is. I believe that it is illegal to marry just for a visa. He has used OP. I wouldn't even put it past him to be playing the field whilst he is still married.

Personally, I would be divorcing him, getting that visa cancelled and throwing him out of the country. Noone messes with me. Noone insults and takes advantage of my family.

I’d be asking for a full explanation and an apology from him .
Assuming it was all heat of the moment in the argument.

Honestly having seen and heard of foreign nationals (mainly those from the West Indies - as I'm ethnically West Indian) marrying specifically to get a visa, It would not surprise me if that's what he did. Only you know him (we don't) but he is rude to your family members who have helped him in the past, that would be a deal breaker for me regardless of what he meant by his comment.

I think he has shown his real feelings, you are a means to and end and I don't think its happily ever after waking hand in hand into the sunset.
If he now thinks you have the upper hand and it annoyes him it will only fester and get worse in his head and his comment will fester till you believe he is having an affair I would suggest he leaves your home and you have a break from each other to see how you feel

You seem to be holding the fact that you’ve helped him get to stay here over him by asking him to be grateful ( I don’t even jnderothe need to say this). He has then expressed that he wishes he found someone who would not hold this over him.
i don’t know why he’s the only one in the wrong here. He’s unlikely to have said what he said, if you hadn’t said what you said.
Plenty of people meet and get permanent residence because their spouses, because they love each other.
You sound like you have some insecurities there around whether he actually cares for you. You need to explore those.

Sori to say this but you've been used. Many a time I saw this in Turkey. Women been used. I wouldn't be supportive of him that's for Sure.. He's be out on his ear..

I really couldn’t forget that either.