AIBU to not let in laws use my villa for free in peak season?

[dilwithvil]

I have a villa in Europe by the beach that I own independently of my husband. It’s effectively a high-end Airbnb in a very popular area and is usually fully booked from mid May until late September. It’s one of my income streams (I’m a SAHM but I manage several investments/assets, and this is part of my income). My husband also earns a very good salary, for full context, but all of “my spending” (coffee with a friend, make up, clothes, dentist) is paid by me from this income. I earn more than my husband.

My in-laws would like to use the villa for a week in peak season for free. My view is that peak season is when the villa earns money. If I block out a week for them, I’m not just “sharing a holiday home”, I’m giving up a week’s rental income.

I’ve said they’re very welcome to use it either in low season, when bookings are much quieter, or at very short notice if a peak-season booking unexpectedly cancels (which almost never happens).

They’re unhappy with this because they want to be able to plan a holiday well in advance, and they don’t want to go in low season because the weather is less reliable. Even if they paid half the market rate this is more than they would usually pay for a holiday, so they don’t want to pay that either.

For context, my parents do occasionally use the villa in peak season. The villa ultimately came from my side of the family (family money/early inheritance), so I don’t really see that as the same thing. Without them, there wouldn’t be a villa in the first place.

Also, while I get on reasonably well with my in-laws, I wouldn’t choose to holiday with them for a week or two, so inviting them while we’re there isn’t really something I want to do either.

AIBU for saying that if they want to use it in peak season, they should either pay the market rate (or even half), or go in low season? Or should family simply be allowed to use it for free regardless of the income I’d be giving up?

Ouch. Save me from a DIL with this attitude. You know the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

Blimey. Are all your relationships this transactional?

Letting your family not them even with the caveats is not good. I would define peak season as school holidays but let them use it in May, early June (not half term) or September saying that repeat customers book it in school holidays

The in laws are already turning their nose up at compromise and feeling entitled to guaranteed weather in a pricey place without putting their hand in their pocket and costing the OP a substantial chunk of it income that isn't consistent all year round.

There is no way this stops at a one off gift "because it's a nice thing to do". Some gifts and favours are accepted with grace and gratitude. Others are met with an expectation that this is the first of many. This is clearly the latter and I think the OP knows it, which is the real reason for her reluctance.

Not really an assumption given OP updates.

Agree ^

They are basically asking you to give you £N where N is the amount you'd get for renting the villa to someone else after tax.

They are CFs.

i agree with this

It sounds like you have enough money to live a very comfortable life, while your in laws don’t. Appreciate it’s loss of a weeks income to you so would be an issue for many, but if you have the cash free to spend on make up clothes and coffee, surely you could stretch the 3 weeks on your ‘hard earned’ income over 4 weeks for one month of the year?

unless there’s a backstory as to why you hate your in laws you’re coming across as money obsessed and greedy

I can see both sides if this . I think I'd ask myself will I struggle financially without the income for a week ,if not and it's not stopping you paying bills or having food in the table id probably say yes that's not a problem but it can't be a every year arrangement as it is how I earn my money on a yearly basis .

But why should she? DH should put his hand in his pocket - it’s his parents.

We own a property DIL lets out and manages. They pay normal rental on it. Make a lot of money in the high season. But it all averages out over the year when in low season the rates are much lower. We wouldn't think of using it ourselves. It's her income, which she spends on her children and home.

so we’ve had a conversation about maybe a week in May for them, at half the market price for that time of year. They said that, given the weather isn’t 100% guaranteed that time of year, like it would be in July or August, they don’t feel that kind of price is justified (half price in May is approx what they’d pay for their holiday normally in peak August, maybe tiny bit more than they’d usually spend, but the weather in August is of course more certain).
so it’s almost like giving them a May week would cause disappointment AND a loss of income. Worst of both worlds

They’re bloody cheeky.

Imagine someone offering you a holiday with 50% off, meaning they’re losing money, but you turn your nose up at that because you won’t be guaranteed sunshine every day 😆

To be fair, neither of us know whether that’s why the OP is reluctant. It could be, or she might just be mean.

I do agree the ILs sound entitled though. It’s nice to be generous but no one in my family would expect it in the way these people seem to.

I'd be more gracious and let them go. Its only one week out of around sixteen.

They are married. It's her husband's property and income too. Whether the OP likes it or not.

To allow her parents but not her in-laws isn't ok for this reason. I don't think you can reasonably make the distinction on the grounds that it is a loss of income. It's effectively a loss of income to her husband when her parents stay.

You don't get to separate finances when you are married. You need to make a joint decision on this and that puts your husband in a very difficult position, one that's grossly unfair.

I was with you until you said you let your parents stay for free during peak season.

Either it’s a business that you can’t afford to lose a week’s peak income from - so your parents pay - or it isn’t, and both your parents and your in-laws have an occasional free week.

It’s a really shitty thing to do - you are basically saying “inlaws, I do not consider you as part of my family”. Plenty of threads on here where the OP says MIL doesn’t treat her like family, and there is outrage at the MIL’s behaviour. But this apparently is OK

And as for the “it’s mine, not my husband’s” - again, if it was the other way around then all the replies would be “LTB! Is he always this financially abusive?!!”

So yeah, do what you like, it’s yours, you’ve made that very clear, but don’t be surprised when they decide you’re not family to them either and behave accordingly.

DH could buy his own holiday let 😁

I'm on the fence @dilwithvil.

We have a home on the coast in SW France. We use it for all of August. It's solidly booked throughout May to September. My parents and IL's were offered April/October - weather very mild then. In peak season it's £6kpw.

TBF when we first bought it MIL had to be carefully managed because she thought free/cheap hols for DH's side would be the norm and we got lots of requests. I know I was unpopular when I said it was a business and family rates were only available.out of season.

Your mistake is treating both sides differently OTH my side aren't cheeky, entitled fuckers, so you may have a point.

Could you offer to them as a one off , on the very clear understanding that this wouldn’t be an every year occurrence ?
I would do it if I could afford to lose the money for the sake of family harmony

CF’s win again. Pays to be a shameless freeloader, doesn’t it?

As you and your husband have separate finances, the principle of ‘treating everyone equally’ would surely be: you give up a week of income for your parents to have a free holiday, he gives up a week (or equivalent) of his income for his parents to have a free holiday. Not that you give up 2 weeks of your income for both sets of parents to have a free holiday.

The villa isn’t a holiday home sitting empty, it’s part of your income. If I were your in-laws, it wouldn’t occur to me to even ask. If I was offered the opportunity to use it, I would be very grateful to stay in low season. I would feel embarrassed to stay for free in high season without paying.

Wow. So you dont need the money? I think youre very wrong and mean.

Except that the OP has said the income would be the equivalent of a (no doubt very expensive) new outfit and a few meals out with friends, rather than paying the mortgage, food bills and keeping the wolf from the door. This is important context - and unfortunately does result in her looking mean. On the back of the first post I thought yanbu but reading on and seeing the extent of her privileged position, with the villa bought for her by her parents (I believe), not so much.