AIBU to not let in laws use my villa for free in peak season?

[dilwithvil]

I have a villa in Europe by the beach that I own independently of my husband. It’s effectively a high-end Airbnb in a very popular area and is usually fully booked from mid May until late September. It’s one of my income streams (I’m a SAHM but I manage several investments/assets, and this is part of my income). My husband also earns a very good salary, for full context, but all of “my spending” (coffee with a friend, make up, clothes, dentist) is paid by me from this income. I earn more than my husband.

My in-laws would like to use the villa for a week in peak season for free. My view is that peak season is when the villa earns money. If I block out a week for them, I’m not just “sharing a holiday home”, I’m giving up a week’s rental income.

I’ve said they’re very welcome to use it either in low season, when bookings are much quieter, or at very short notice if a peak-season booking unexpectedly cancels (which almost never happens).

They’re unhappy with this because they want to be able to plan a holiday well in advance, and they don’t want to go in low season because the weather is less reliable. Even if they paid half the market rate this is more than they would usually pay for a holiday, so they don’t want to pay that either.

For context, my parents do occasionally use the villa in peak season. The villa ultimately came from my side of the family (family money/early inheritance), so I don’t really see that as the same thing. Without them, there wouldn’t be a villa in the first place.

Also, while I get on reasonably well with my in-laws, I wouldn’t choose to holiday with them for a week or two, so inviting them while we’re there isn’t really something I want to do either.

AIBU for saying that if they want to use it in peak season, they should either pay the market rate (or even half), or go in low season? Or should family simply be allowed to use it for free regardless of the income I’d be giving up?

I think it depends how much the loss of income would impact you. Would your mortgage struggle, would you struggle to buy groceries?

From what you’ve said, it sounds like both you and DH are pretty wealthy, so yes, I think you should let them have it in peak season, especially as you let your parents have it (and it sounds like your parents would be able to afford to pay!).

Yes, wow. It seems to be true that the more money you have the meaner you get.

You are right low season at a reduced rate is fine. As otherwise you are giving up income. And I would explain this to them, this my work and you can’t afford to earn any money.

it’s not a free holiday, it’s you paying for it. o don’t think characterising yourself as not working helps as they assume you don’t need the income. You do work it may not be regular job but I assume you are doing some work and you need the income. So no you can’t afford to pay for their holiday unless it’s down season

It's way more than a week's income because it's not going to earn £2k in a rainy week in February. So you have to spread that summer income across the whole year. I'm guessing it'll work out more like 2-3 weeks income.

I think offering them half price was reasonable, or first dibs just outside of peak season (at a lower price or free).

I guess it does also depend on how rich OP and her husband are vs. how rich the in-laws are. If OP is mega-rich and the in-laws very low income then it might be nice to let them go for free. But it would also depend if it was a one-off or if they were expecting to go every year.

There's a lot of things in this post that don't relate to the situation at all. OP isn't saying that the villa purchase means they get priority access to the grandkids. With this, not at all analogous analogy, it would have to be about who got priority access to curtains. Which I presume you don't think is actually going to happen.

Nobody here is being forced to do anything, so we don't have to worry about that. The ILs aren't being compelled to request several grand of free holiday.

And the issue of marital assets doesn't arise when people are still married. It sounds like OP is in the UK, so what that means is that one spouses property isn't the others during the marriage. You're talking about what happens on divorce, but this is not a divorcing couple.

I’d be suggesting ‘after school holidays’ post-peak season, i.e September after about the 10th. Often a better time anyway, fewer crowds, weather still good, sea nice and warm, if that is a factor.

I think the best way to sum it up is, I don’t feel like gifting them over a thousand pounds. They’ve never gifted me anything of similar value, except no one (aside from parents) has. I also don’t know anyone handing out their in laws that sum of money in cash. So why should I.

Agree with all if this. As soon as you give in on the peak season freebie they will start expecting it every year, lots of hints about what a lovely time they had and how much they would like to go again.

Contrarily as PPs have suggested, people dont appreciate or value free things. There will be the risk of them being careless with the property as they will see it as a 'family asset' rather than a business asset.

It would never just be this year. It will be next year and the year after etc. It will be them telling Bob and Sheila what a great deal they got and they have told them you'll do the same for them etc. And then finding out that they have taken mates with them and charged them for it etc.

It is losing a chunk of the money to pay for ongoing maintenance qnd management, so that has to come out of another week's income. They wouldn't be leaving it ready for the next guests, so it is more than one week's revenue that is lost.

So many people here are willing to be generous with someone else's income.

I can't believe they are negotiating with you about what would essentially be a gift from you!

They are stating their conditions as to payment and time of year about a gift!

Unbelievable!

This says everything to me about your relationship with your in-laws. You can (easily) afford to do this, you just don't WANT to. Own it. And then don't be surprised when they reciprocate in kind.

This does not spell good long-term in-law relations.

“Sorry, it’s the high season weeks that keep the place afloat. Obviously there are running costs, and the peak season averages out across the year to make it worth doing.”

Effectively they’re expecting your parents to subsidise their holiday, given that it’s your parents who bought the place.

As it's your business and sounds like you and DH's finances are kept separate to some extent, ie everything doesn't go into one pot and you have roughly the same for spending, then a 50% discount sounds reasonable. Only other circumstance, I might let them have it for free is if they live in a different part of the country and have expensive train journey/accommodation if they see you, or they help out with any DC or jobs around the house.

Her parents gave her money to buy it in the first place. She is repaying their generosity.

Sounds the OP and her DH has some kind of separate finances now, but only the OP would get a hit on her income.

If DH is willing to pay for a half of their stay, there is no issue, the OP is willing to suck the other half. Strangely, he isn't offering.

We need to understand that paying half and not getting a half paid are the same ( very similar) money.

If the villa usually rents out at say £3,000 per week in August, then they’re essentially asking you to gift them £3k. Have they asked for a similar gift from any of their other DC? If not, why not?

I think you're getting an unreasonable hard time here.

If the question was "the in laws want a week's worth of my salary" then I don't think you would get one person thinking you're unreasonable to say no.

You have offered them half price outside of peak, that wasn't good enough.

They are being massively entitled.

Don't listen to people here who are clearly jealous of your situation. Also wtf at the idea that your partners parents should be considered the same as your own parents, who contributed and are...your actual parents.

Because it would be nice and you can afford it. But obviously you have no obligation.

As I said in my PP, one of the nicest things about being financially secure is being able to share that with loved ones imo.

This is no less true of DH. If you take the view that the ILs should have a free peak holiday, there's no reason OP has to be the one fully funding it. After all, he doesn't sound like he's going short either.

I think this is the problem, they maybe don't see it as costing you anything to let them have a free week, but if you're seeing the villa as your income then it's costing you a lot.

They are cheeky not just for asking but for then rejecting what offers you have been kind enough to give as not good enough.

Dh has a family member who has a holiday villa they don’t rent it out so it does sit empty and we still wouldn’t ask to use it.

A holiday villa is something someone offers you or you ask to use as a full paying customer and they give you a discount if they want to.

Asking to use someone’s holiday home in July August for free is so so brazen. I don’t know anyone who would do that ffs.

You are totally NBU - they are chancers - I can't believe they are so cheeky as to insist on a peak season trip

I mean it was obvious from your OP that you can afford to lose a weeks income on the property. I don't think YANBU as such, it's yours and you can do what you like but it sounds as though you have been very fortunate in life in order to have the assets that provide your income as a SAHM, passing that on to someone else who evidently can't afford the same, would be a nice thing to do.

You seem very clear about what you value most. In this case it sounds like the money would be for luxuries (dress & dinner) rather than necessities, and that ranks higher than your husbands parents.
You haven’t mentioned what your in-laws financial situation is. Would they easily be able to pay full whack?