AIBU to not let in laws use my villa for free in peak season?

[dilwithvil]

I have a villa in Europe by the beach that I own independently of my husband. It’s effectively a high-end Airbnb in a very popular area and is usually fully booked from mid May until late September. It’s one of my income streams (I’m a SAHM but I manage several investments/assets, and this is part of my income). My husband also earns a very good salary, for full context, but all of “my spending” (coffee with a friend, make up, clothes, dentist) is paid by me from this income. I earn more than my husband.

My in-laws would like to use the villa for a week in peak season for free. My view is that peak season is when the villa earns money. If I block out a week for them, I’m not just “sharing a holiday home”, I’m giving up a week’s rental income.

I’ve said they’re very welcome to use it either in low season, when bookings are much quieter, or at very short notice if a peak-season booking unexpectedly cancels (which almost never happens).

They’re unhappy with this because they want to be able to plan a holiday well in advance, and they don’t want to go in low season because the weather is less reliable. Even if they paid half the market rate this is more than they would usually pay for a holiday, so they don’t want to pay that either.

For context, my parents do occasionally use the villa in peak season. The villa ultimately came from my side of the family (family money/early inheritance), so I don’t really see that as the same thing. Without them, there wouldn’t be a villa in the first place.

Also, while I get on reasonably well with my in-laws, I wouldn’t choose to holiday with them for a week or two, so inviting them while we’re there isn’t really something I want to do either.

AIBU for saying that if they want to use it in peak season, they should either pay the market rate (or even half), or go in low season? Or should family simply be allowed to use it for free regardless of the income I’d be giving up?

Yeah maybe, but I know I would treat both sides the same. But that's just me I guess.

Easy to say if it’s not you. My in laws are not particularly helpful or even that nice. It would stick in my craw if they massively benefitted essentially from my own parents generosity. Would they give if the boot was on the other foot?

If OP's PILs aren't well off, surely they would jump at the chance for a free holiday in OP's villa, even if it wasn't in high season? They are being very picky about when they want their free holiday.

If OP had simply refused to allow them to ever have a free or reduced price holiday in her villa, you would have a point. But she isn't doing that.

Yes I did. I still think OP is being petty and now I think she's a bit shallow. She said the villa income goes towards buying clothes or going out with her mates – so not needed for essential bills. She just doesn't like her in-laws enough to allow them to use it in peak times.

Have you suggested to your husband that he funds the loss of income or at least 50% of it?

Not sure I'd want to fall out with close family over this. Fair enough not letting anyone use it for free but they are your parents in law. I think I would just explain the deal and say unfortunately as you are reliant on the income and you'd be losing £X by letting them stay there, you can't do this every year but they can have X (slightly off peak) week on this occasion. I wouldn't really focus on the money because you can't really put a price on maintaining pleasant family relations and also it sounds like you aren't massively affected if you let them stay for free for a week. The alternative approach is you explain that you run it as a business so can't offer free stays apart from in low season, but then risk the fallout.

Maybe this is a big part of it for OP.
Nothing in her posts suggests they are particularly close.

I absolutely know my in-laws would and I’d love to do the same for mine.

Same position OP - inherited house from my mother’s side that we invested a significant sum in to turn into a business.

Peak season is for paid visitors, including friends on mates rates. June and September (and rest of the year) available for free to parents, PILs and siblings.

I don’t know about you but we have staff to pay as well as running costs.

Exactly!

They are being grabby and greedy. Willing to pay premium travel date prices but not a penny to op.

Don’t want any other dates op is willing for them.

Beggers don’t get to be choosy.

If they really just wanted a holiday they would accept ops May dates or a last minute cancelling offering for possible peak dates. But they are not they are just greedy entitled people.

'It gets booked up a year in advance. It's fully booked for peak season' on repeat.

This and to consider charging half market rent!
U are coming across as being mean and grabby and very embarrassing

Many people would. It's easy to see why so many on mn are NC with family when they just don't see how their petty behaviour comes across.

It doesn't matter if the ops family contributed toward the holiday let, the
fact is it is now owned by the op and she should treat both sets of parents equally regarding usage of it. Both get it free, or neither.

YANBU. It's your investment, your income. They can fuck right off. Nice in laws would have never even asked.

Right.

Ok. Question: would you hand your ILs £8,000?

if you keep that entitled attitude when your kids have partners and you end up wit a DIL or SIL, you can only blame yourself when they put firm boundaries and you don't hear from them much

Beggars can’t be choosers!

Seriously, who are these people who communicate unhappiness at only being offered a free holiday stay outside of peak season? Even if I was in that situation did feel like that, I would never communicate it. It gives us a vibe of gratitude and entitlement.

I would say to them that they can use it and offer them 10% off the usual weekly rate. Seriously, some people are so entitled!

100pc this.
I am sooooo glad that I don't have OP's mindset. And I am so grateful for the home I live in that is available for friends and family to come and stay.
Wouldn't cross my mind to ask for payment.

And what is the problem with that?

cheeky bastards. half rate is bloody kind of you.

they can be grateful to use it when it's not being rented out, that's all.

any expectations on their side need to be shoved up their bums

Couldn't agree move. The givers have no issue with letting the in laws use the villas and the takers are all - what a CF and they are entitled.

Guess i like the feeling of helping others when I have and seeing my family enjoy things I can give them. But I am a giver so it's natural to a lot of us to feel this way and not just jump to the CF and entitlement thinking.....

Because it’s C as F to basically ask your DIL to fund you a free holiday every year. If it costs her income, then it’s the same as if she was being asked to pay for them to book a holiday.

Wouldn’t that depend on your disposable income? If you had a million pounds disposable income a year then £8k wouldn’t touch the sides and if £8k made a real difference to them then why not. If your disposable income was £16k then maybe not.

Doesn’t sound as if OP has to scrimp and save. Has been gifted wealth generating assets and sounds like her in-laws are in a different wealth bracket. All bills paid for by DH so she can spend all the money she earns on luxuries, if a weeks holiday peak season make a big difference to in-laws and doesn’t really impact OP, why not. She lets her parents have a free week and, unless her parents have given OP all their assets, I assume they could pay for any holiday they wanted, so a free week makes very little difference to them

I think they should take no for an answer. They don't have a right to use the villa for free! Neither do your parents and no doubt you would refuse them too if it didn't work for you financially.
However, they are clearly upset by the fact that you give your parents something you won't give them, and perhaps there are other ways to assure them that they matter, without losing money that you want to keep.

Where did 1k come from? OP said a few thousand.

Where can you read a beachside villa in the med for 1k?

Or she might buy the lunches and outfits she wants anyway and any subsidy that the ILs are asking from takes from what her children and grandchildren are given in the long term.