AIBU to not let in laws use my villa for free in peak season?

[dilwithvil]

I have a villa in Europe by the beach that I own independently of my husband. It’s effectively a high-end Airbnb in a very popular area and is usually fully booked from mid May until late September. It’s one of my income streams (I’m a SAHM but I manage several investments/assets, and this is part of my income). My husband also earns a very good salary, for full context, but all of “my spending” (coffee with a friend, make up, clothes, dentist) is paid by me from this income. I earn more than my husband.

My in-laws would like to use the villa for a week in peak season for free. My view is that peak season is when the villa earns money. If I block out a week for them, I’m not just “sharing a holiday home”, I’m giving up a week’s rental income.

I’ve said they’re very welcome to use it either in low season, when bookings are much quieter, or at very short notice if a peak-season booking unexpectedly cancels (which almost never happens).

They’re unhappy with this because they want to be able to plan a holiday well in advance, and they don’t want to go in low season because the weather is less reliable. Even if they paid half the market rate this is more than they would usually pay for a holiday, so they don’t want to pay that either.

For context, my parents do occasionally use the villa in peak season. The villa ultimately came from my side of the family (family money/early inheritance), so I don’t really see that as the same thing. Without them, there wouldn’t be a villa in the first place.

Also, while I get on reasonably well with my in-laws, I wouldn’t choose to holiday with them for a week or two, so inviting them while we’re there isn’t really something I want to do either.

AIBU for saying that if they want to use it in peak season, they should either pay the market rate (or even half), or go in low season? Or should family simply be allowed to use it for free regardless of the income I’d be giving up?

My dc have been brought up well and would treat both sets of parents equally. They arent selfish and certainly would not prioritise outfits and socialising which the op has said she does.

But hey, at least PILs wouldn't have to suffer the indignity of a free villa holiday in May, and their son wouldn't have to put his hand in his pocket either. So it's swings and roundabouts really.

Selfish?! Saying OP is “selfish” keeping the villa and its income to herself suggests that these things are shared or communal property!

I think this misconception - which, incidentally, you only find in the people who benefit, never people who pay the price - is at the heart of the issue. So many “family” people are all about the communal, ‘share and share alike’ aspect when it comes to the upsides. But when it comes to the downsides, they’re nowhere to be seen.

This request from the in-laws is no different to them asking OP to give her a week’s income post-tax and bills, bang in the run up to max spending Christmas time. Literally no different. Would YOU hand over a quarter of your monthly pay packet to your in laws, just because, when you’d offered them a £500 gift for nothing in May and they’d said no, it has to be £1000 the week before Christmas or nothing?? And then deal with people telling you how selfish you are?!

Or the ILs could just pay for their own holiday.

I think they are incredibly cheeky and can't believe posters on here think otherwise. Why should you give up some of your income so they don't have to pay for their own holiday? The fact that your own parents stay is irrelevant if they have contributed to the property in the first place. They should ask your husband if he wouldn't mind paying for them to go on holiday somewhere rather than expecting their dil to effectively pay for it.

NOT FREE!!! Why do people keep saying this?!

The OP said,
so we’ve had a conversation about maybe a week in May for them, at half the market price for that time of year.

Depends on perception
Not everyone priotises £££££££££££

Perhaps the ILs will state in their will specifically any inheritance goes to their SON, not in any way shape or form to be shared with DIL 😂

This is your income as your husband wouldn't agree to you not working outside the home, this is key.

He gets all the comforts and accommodations of a SAHM, without the income sacrifice.

I think you are very generous.
You are not close to his family.

His parents are cheeky in my view and I wouldn't be entertaining this.

I would spell it out that this income means I stay at home with my children as your son wouldn't agree to it otherwise.

You will be setting a precedence that you do not care for.

Glad to read that the property will revert to your family should anything happen to you.

Just before Covid my sister inherited a gorgeous property on the beach from her godmother.
It's absolutely gorgeous, old fashioned, but in a fabulous setting.

Her two painful SIL's assumed they could have a family holiday in it and spoke to her husband, as they assumed it was now his.

The property is hers alone and he put them very straight on that point.
They then contacted her but she shut it down very quickly.
She wouldn't want them in her space.

I think given everything you have explained, particularly finances, it would be a no from me.

I have lovely holiday home and my closest friend has a key, I gift it to her for a couple of weeks at a time when we will not use it.

It completely depends on the relationship IMO.

You really think your DC would pay for their in laws holidays rather than socialise or buy themselves clothes.😂

Guess some people just like their in-laws and are a bit more generous?

I’d much rather see my in-laws happy than buy a new outfit but we’re all different I suppose.

Because she's also said they should either pay half or go in low season. The 'or' indicates that its's one or the other. If it were a half price low season week being offered, it would be 'and'.

It's not the clearest wording though, I agree. Same with the cost comments.

The rental income is her personal income.

Is OP’s DH on a million pa? OP just says DH’s salary is “very good”. Which on MN could mean anything from 60k onwards.

where has it been said the in-laws are poor? All op has said is that they don’t WANT to pay that much for her villa! They feel entitled to her villa for free. What would happen next after that is they would offer op’s villa for free to other family members and their friends and would make it very difficult for op!

The inheritance will be just his though.

If you don't call "selfish" your sense of entitlement to get everything for free from your DIL, you might need to rethink your attitude!

So you pay for your in laws to go on holiday every year do you?

If my dc let us stay in their holiday let free then yes they'd let their il's stay without charging too, regardless of if we'd contributed to the purchase of the let in the first place.
As I said well brought up, well mannered and not selfish and pretentious.

what about in-laws not being so entitled and show a bit of gratitude for being offered a FREE holiday, instead of demanding a time that is just not available?

Who's selfish here?

No, but I haven’t been given a free villa?

Don’t remember every year being mentioned in any of the posts either.

Why should they? 🤷‍♀️

I'm so virtuous I'd give the in-laws the villa because I was brought up nicely and I love my in-laws. I wouldn't even mind if they gave it to MIL's stepdaughter because she is family after all.

You’ve said a free holiday in about 3/4 of your posts.

I suggest you go back and read what OP wrote.

The OP said,
so we’ve had a conversation about maybe a week in May for them, at half the market price for that time of year.

That’s not FREE

It’s not ‘my family can your family can’t’… the OP’s parents gave the property to her as part of their inheritance planning. It has nothing to do with her in laws and tbh I think they are lucky she gives them any options on using the property. I come from the family with money and my in laws all have CF tendencies (which making a demand like this causing her to lose income and guilt her into have something for nothing is..) and they get bog all from me, and never will

Not a sense of entitlement hun, it's just treating people equally. It's a good thing and something that we should all strive for. Try it!