Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not let in laws use my villa for free in peak season?

1000 replies

dilwithvil · 10/07/2026 07:22

I have a villa in Europe by the beach that I own independently of my husband. It’s effectively a high-end Airbnb in a very popular area and is usually fully booked from mid May until late September. It’s one of my income streams (I’m a SAHM but I manage several investments/assets, and this is part of my income). My husband also earns a very good salary, for full context, but all of “my spending” (coffee with a friend, make up, clothes, dentist) is paid by me from this income. I earn more than my husband.

My in-laws would like to use the villa for a week in peak season for free. My view is that peak season is when the villa earns money. If I block out a week for them, I’m not just “sharing a holiday home”, I’m giving up a week’s rental income.

I’ve said they’re very welcome to use it either in low season, when bookings are much quieter, or at very short notice if a peak-season booking unexpectedly cancels (which almost never happens).

They’re unhappy with this because they want to be able to plan a holiday well in advance, and they don’t want to go in low season because the weather is less reliable. Even if they paid half the market rate this is more than they would usually pay for a holiday, so they don’t want to pay that either.

For context, my parents do occasionally use the villa in peak season. The villa ultimately came from my side of the family (family money/early inheritance), so I don’t really see that as the same thing. Without them, there wouldn’t be a villa in the first place.

Also, while I get on reasonably well with my in-laws, I wouldn’t choose to holiday with them for a week or two, so inviting them while we’re there isn’t really something I want to do either.

AIBU for saying that if they want to use it in peak season, they should either pay the market rate (or even half), or go in low season? Or should family simply be allowed to use it for free regardless of the income I’d be giving up?

OP posts:
SooPanda · 10/07/2026 12:56

Purplebunnie · 10/07/2026 12:54

The OP's parents gave the OP the villa, it's her inheritance given early. It has been mentioned many times on the thread. Of course her parents get if for free - they essentially bought it and as the OP has said, it will revert back to them should she die.

That’s not what I asked. I said do the in-laws know?

allthiscarryon · 10/07/2026 12:57

OP - you’re tight. Really tight. And that’s a really unpleasant trait in anyone.
One week, let them use it.

SooPanda · 10/07/2026 12:58

For what it’s worth I think the in laws are unreasonable not to accept half price or off peak. They’re making it impossible for Op to maintain a good relationship with them after this, you either say yes and they expect more freebies, or no and cause an argument / rift.

But if OP sees a future with her husband then these people are in her life forever.

IAmNotAPickyBit · 10/07/2026 12:59

susiedaisy1912 · 10/07/2026 12:50

She’s offered them a family rate of 50% off and they weren’t happy with it. They want it for nothing and during the school holidays of July and August.

Entitlement! Owners might mean well initially, but THIS is why people who own holiday lets start reducing the amount of time family can stay.

It is stressful enough to run one. Then family wants it during the most lucrative season, for free! Understandably, it's likely the only time they can visit... but thats them plus most of the parents out there.

We own a villa in Florida. It is so expensive to run, and because of cheeky family members, no one goes for free anymore!

Clearingaspace · 10/07/2026 12:59

Stompythedinosaur · 10/07/2026 12:34

It's hard to unpick though, isn't it?

So, op's parents gave her money towards the villa. But op benefits also from the numerous ways her dh's husband was supported by his dp to enable him to earn a wage that supports their family - whether that's hard cold cash or the upbringing and support they gave him, right?

So why are one set of dp worthy of treating and the other aren't?

The main costs for most young families are the mortgage and childcare - the op has covered both. I do think she should pay half of holidays but I guess technically she is, as they use the villa for some holidays too and she loses income those weeks.

ZanyPoet · 10/07/2026 13:00

rainingsnoring · 10/07/2026 12:39

I completely agree. It is indeed a shitty world when rich people who have been gifted assets behave so ungenerously to their immediate family.

by offering them a free holiday? On which planet is that "ungenerous"?😂

Tableforjoan · 10/07/2026 13:01

allthiscarryon · 10/07/2026 12:57

OP - you’re tight. Really tight. And that’s a really unpleasant trait in anyone.
One week, let them use it.

Goes both ways.

Her in-laws are tight very tight people expecting a free holiday. Pay their Dil.

NeverKnowinglyUnderstated · 10/07/2026 13:01

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 10/07/2026 07:25

Letting your family but not your in-laws is shitty.

This with bells on!

Tableforjoan · 10/07/2026 13:02

NeverKnowinglyUnderstated · 10/07/2026 13:01

This with bells on!

Her family have paid though. The entire cost of buying the villa.

Clearingaspace · 10/07/2026 13:03

Urgh it’s so frustrating, the op has offered a free holiday but they don’t want to take it! Weather is never guaranteed, even in August.

Wowisthisit · 10/07/2026 13:04

The inlaws have been offered a free gift. They now want to negotiate the terms of the free gift so it is worth (possibly) double. The in laws are the only ungracious people here.

sittingonabeach · 10/07/2026 13:05

Tableforjoan · 10/07/2026 13:01

Goes both ways.

Her in-laws are tight very tight people expecting a free holiday. Pay their Dil.

I think the difference is OP has surplus income, she has said in other posts her in-laws couldn't afford the holiday in peak season, so assume there is a big disparity in wealth

Tableforjoan · 10/07/2026 13:06

am I being unreasonable?

My parents purchased a villa that they have put in my name. They stay in it sometimes for free because well let’s face it they paid for it. My in-laws now want a free week but ONLY peak time, they don’t want to pay a single penny not even towards the electric or cleaner, they also don’t want any other dates as the weather might not be good enough for them.

Am I unreasonable for thinking that they are being hugely cheeky and say no to them?

IonianNerveGrip · 10/07/2026 13:06

MiaKulper · 10/07/2026 12:43

'Dear Mumsnet,
My DH has inherited a holiday home which gives him an income of over £50k a year. His parents gave him the villa as an early inheritance.
My DPs have asked him if they could have it for a fortnight in peak season free of charge - he already lets his parents have a week free of charge - but he's told my DPs that they have to pay half the full rate.
I think he's being unfair as we're all family. AIBU?'

YABU. He'll lose 2 week's peak season rental. His DP are having a week free because they gave him the villa.

Indeed, and on that subject, since we've had some many reverses in this thread I'm surprised we've not had one from hypothetical MIL yet.

DILs family gave her a villa. Her parents stay there occasionally, I don't know about the financial arrangements but my guess is she doesn't charge them since they paid for it and she wouldn't have it otherwise so that would be a bit of a piss take.

We asked for a free holiday there. She offered it outside peak season gratis but that doesn't suit us, we want August rather than early May or early October. We can't afford even a discounted August rate, but she has lots more money than us so we would like a full free week in August

It would be a classic MIL thread for the ages!

sittingonabeach · 10/07/2026 13:06

@Wowisthisit the OP appears to have had quite a few gifts too

blizymitzy · 10/07/2026 13:07

I completely agree with you op and on a selfish note I’d love a link to your villa if you can possibly dm me?

Tableforjoan · 10/07/2026 13:07

sittingonabeach · 10/07/2026 13:05

I think the difference is OP has surplus income, she has said in other posts her in-laws couldn't afford the holiday in peak season, so assume there is a big disparity in wealth

She’s offered other dates. If you cannot afford prime time holidays you don’t go on them.

Thats facts for everyone.

This is ops personal income from a gift from her parents.

Clearingaspace · 10/07/2026 13:11

The other reason them not going off peak falls down is the in-laws could likely save on the cost of flights or trains depending where the villa is. If they are willing to pay more for transport and likely other bits and bobs by choosing August, why are they not also prepared to pay a bit towards accommodation?

Eightfor15 · 10/07/2026 13:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SwankyPants · 10/07/2026 13:13

Dutch1e · 10/07/2026 12:15

Except "both sides" didn't give OP the villa.

I couldn't be the sort of person that keeps tally of who gave what and therefore should be treated more favourably.
🤷‍♀️

Purplebunnie · 10/07/2026 13:13

SooPanda · 10/07/2026 12:56

That’s not what I asked. I said do the in-laws know?

Actually I don't think that has been mentioned. But surely the PIL know that the villa is DIL's inheritance and would not expect to get the same terms as the people who gave it to her. I wouldn't

IonianNerveGrip · 10/07/2026 13:15

OP did address that- says she's not sure they know she doesn't charge her parents, but doesn't think ILs would expect her parents pay in those circumstances.

PrettyPickle · 10/07/2026 13:16

@dilwithvil There are two competing principles, both valid:

  1. The villa is a business asset, not a spare bedroom.
Peak season = income. Blocking out a week = a real financial loss, not an abstract one. It’s not “sharing a holiday home”; it’s giving away revenue. If you earned that money through your own investments, management, and risk, then the idea that you should simply forfeit income because someone is “family” doesn’t automatically hold water.
  1. Family often expects “family rates” or “family access”.
Some families operate on the principle that shared assets = shared benefits. Others operate on the principle that personal assets = personal boundaries. Neither is wrong. But mismatched expectations cause friction.

The complication here is your parents vs. his parents - this is where the emotional politics kick in. Your parents gave you the early inheritance that made the villa possible, are part of the reason the villa exists and so you feel gratitude and reciprocity.

Whereas his parents contributed nothing financially, want peak-season access without paying, don’t want low season and don’t want to pay even half the market rate and they want to plan well in advance. From their perspective, they see “You let your parents go for free in peak season, but not us.”

From your perspective “My parents helped create the asset. You’re asking me to give up income for no reason other than entitlement.” Both perspectives make emotional sense. But only one aligns with financial reality.

Let’s say peak-season weeks bring in £2,000–£4,000 (depending on the area). Giving that up is not “a favour”; it’s a gift. If your in-laws wouldn’t normally spend that amount on a holiday, then what they’re actually asking is “Please subsidise our holiday using your business income.” That’s not a small ask. And actually its worse than that as they don't want to contribute anything so not only would you not get the income but presumably you would still need to cover your costs, such as insurance, cleaning turnaround, laundry etc. And the fact they want peak season planned in advance for free and won’t consider low season or even pay half …makes it clear they’re not asking for kindness; they’re asking for priority access to your income stream.

So lets look at the fairness question, what are the key distinctions between parents? Your parents’ free week = repayment of a debt of gratitude as they helped create the asset. Whereas your in-laws’ free week = a financial favour.
They contributed nothing. Those are not equivalent situations. If the villa came from your husband’s side, you can bet they’d feel differently.

I think your stance in offering low season, or last-minute cancellations …is already generous. You’re not saying “never”. You’re saying “not at a cost to me”.
That’s a perfectly fair boundary. But where your husband comes in is the real sticking point here. If he doesn’t want to challenge his parents, wants you to absorb the financial loss, wants you to treat his parents like yours, but doesn’t acknowledge the origin of the asset then the issue isn’t the villa. It’s the emotional labour and financial sacrifice he expects you to make to keep the peace. You’ve already said in other contexts that you often end up subsidising his family. This fits the same pattern.

Your position is financially rational, emotionally consistent, and fair. If anything, the in-laws are being unreasonable by wanting peak season, wanting it free, wanting it guaranteed, and refusing any compromise. Family doesn’t get to demand access to your income stream.

The real question for you is do you want to hold the boundary firmly and accept their annoyance, or compromise financially to keep the peace?

There’s no wrong answer. Just consequences.
Tableforjoan · 10/07/2026 13:16

SwankyPants · 10/07/2026 13:13

I couldn't be the sort of person that keeps tally of who gave what and therefore should be treated more favourably.
🤷‍♀️

It’s not like it’s a bag of sweets it’s a whole ass property 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤣.

easy to be easy and free with a hypothetical villa though I guess.

Growlybear83 · 10/07/2026 13:16

ZanyPoet · 10/07/2026 08:42

why? It's random people that you are only forced to mix with because you marry their child. And that you will never see again if you ever divorce or lose your partner. You stay polite, make efforts because of your partner and you facilitate a relationship for your children if they are not toxic.

How can you compare that with parents who have raised you from birth, who will always be your parents?

On no planet are in-laws family. The ones you get on with, they do respect boundaries and let the relationship grow organically. The CF who make demands and think they have rights you stay away from.

What a depressing outlook on life. Of course in laws become your family when you choose to marry someone and you do your best to get along with them and include them in your life. It’s so sad that anyone would only see in laws as being temporary - surely when you marry someone you intend it to be for life, and dont go into marriage thinking that divorce or losing a partner is likely? Of course terrible things happen and people’s partners do die, but it’s very rare, and for most people, they are highly likely to outlive their in laws and will be part of an extended family until they die.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.