AIBU to not let in laws use my villa for free in peak season?

[dilwithvil]

I have a villa in Europe by the beach that I own independently of my husband. It’s effectively a high-end Airbnb in a very popular area and is usually fully booked from mid May until late September. It’s one of my income streams (I’m a SAHM but I manage several investments/assets, and this is part of my income). My husband also earns a very good salary, for full context, but all of “my spending” (coffee with a friend, make up, clothes, dentist) is paid by me from this income. I earn more than my husband.

My in-laws would like to use the villa for a week in peak season for free. My view is that peak season is when the villa earns money. If I block out a week for them, I’m not just “sharing a holiday home”, I’m giving up a week’s rental income.

I’ve said they’re very welcome to use it either in low season, when bookings are much quieter, or at very short notice if a peak-season booking unexpectedly cancels (which almost never happens).

They’re unhappy with this because they want to be able to plan a holiday well in advance, and they don’t want to go in low season because the weather is less reliable. Even if they paid half the market rate this is more than they would usually pay for a holiday, so they don’t want to pay that either.

For context, my parents do occasionally use the villa in peak season. The villa ultimately came from my side of the family (family money/early inheritance), so I don’t really see that as the same thing. Without them, there wouldn’t be a villa in the first place.

Also, while I get on reasonably well with my in-laws, I wouldn’t choose to holiday with them for a week or two, so inviting them while we’re there isn’t really something I want to do either.

AIBU for saying that if they want to use it in peak season, they should either pay the market rate (or even half), or go in low season? Or should family simply be allowed to use it for free regardless of the income I’d be giving up?

They want to borrow it for week and for her to pay the fuel.

I agree. I also think it’s bizarre that all those berating the OP and saying how she has the money are conveniently not applying those rules to her husband, who doesn’t want to pay for them and appears to be equally well-off. Yes he is paying bills but not paying a mortgage cost therefore I would venture that he isn’t struggling financially.

If he doesn’t want to pay and doesn’t seem too irate about the situation, then why is OP getting the grief when they aren’t her parents?

I find it sad how many people are attacking OPs situation. It might not be how we would arrange finances, but everyone is different. If her and her husband are fine with the arrangement then why are people getting so stressed about it? There is giving an opinion and then there is the unpleasant name calling that is happening here.

Just re-read your posts and noticed a couple of things i missed originally...

Your PiL think the peak week rental cost is "ridiculous", and query why anyone would pay that for a holiday.
Clearly the charge is justified as it's usually booked out through high season.
And they want it free of charge!

It really doesn't sound like the most suitable location for them - it's in an expensive area with costly restaurants, and they can't hire a car to get to to the cheaper areas/restaurants.

A solution could be, if your DH is keen to treat his parents to a free holiday as you do your parents out of your income, he can pay the cost of their usual August break out of his income.
How could he possibly argue that that was unfair?

That is not quite the same thing though. We always paid when our student children and their OHs went on holiday. I have never paid for my ILs to go on holiday. If I had offered they would have thought I was bonkers and no way would they accept it.
OPs parents gave her the money for the property so she is correct in letting them stay there. I think most people who give their children money do so on the understanding that their children will be savvy with it and not give it away.

Oh, you’ve lost me now. I think they’re your family, and you are being tight-fisted and unpleasant.

Your parents use it for free because it's from their side of the family. Their side of the family, now you, has paid for and invested on the maintenance and upkeep and taxes of this property for years.

Your inlaws want to deprive you of thousands of ££££s so they can get a free vacation.

I see nothing wrong with saying no if they won't pay the half rate. If they can't pay that, they can't afford the vacation they want and that's their problem.

Ain't no such thing as a free ride, inlaws.

Completely different scenario. You are talking about students, still in education. They are your children, your dependents who you birthed and brought up. Even if they’re adults officially and at uni, you can’t compare that to an established couple in their sixties who are trying to wrangle a free holiday at someone else’s expense.

Would I pay for my university aged child and their partner to go on holiday? Absolutely, no problem.

Would I pay for my in-laws August holiday? (because they’ve turned their nose up at May) Not a fucking chance.

They are her in laws, her husbands parents! Not some CF friends or cousins twice removed. I don't think it's to do with wealth, I don't even think that his parents think about the money in the same way as OP does. They would like a nice holiday with guaranteed weather. I'd let them stay as a one off- and make it very clear that this is what it is for the reasons of loss of income. I'm sure they will understand that, especially if they have a lot less money than OP.

Her husband would not be happy for her to SAHM and would want her working with 3 x kids if she didnt as he wants her paying her way.

It also gives her financial security which we 3 children she should want.

The in laws can afford it but dont want to pay and only want to be "a family" when it suits them.
2 preschoolers is hard work without 1 in school.

My aunt has several holiday homes which I have been to on occasion. i wouldn't dream of asking to stay unless I was invited. Its plain rude.

So if your in-laws want to stay they're depriving you of "play money" and "your children's inheritance" but if your dp want to stay they aren't?

Presumably your dp's income is family money that you share. It seems fair that your income is likewise shared really.

It's pretty normal for most of us to get on better with our own dp than our in-laws, but I imagine your dh also cares about his parents and wants to be kind to them.

Its pretty obvious from the posts that OP is absolutely loaded, and wouldn't be taking any sort of financial hit here.

So really, regardless of the way Dh's parents have gone about it, valuing an outfit and a couple of dinners over her relationship with her in-laws is pretty mean and tight-fisted.

Ultimately its OP'S choice, but it's not a choice I would make.

So if your in-laws just demanded you hand over a couple of week’s wages you would do so because married? Because the relationship with your in laws is more important than your wages? And if you offered them your income from a lower week and they refused it and continued to demand your peak earnings you would still hand it over?

Where do you draw the line? A week’s income, a month’s income? Six months just because “family”?

Her parents invested and partly financed the business which in this scenario generates her income. If the in laws had financed the business they would have the same claim. The in laws have been offered part of the OP’s income off peak but that isn’t good enough for them.

You are right - its not just about money, its also about people being grabby. This isn’t a family member struggling and in need of financial help, its people wanting a freebie at maximum cost to the person being expected to provide it.

They are DH’s family too - why doesn’t he cover the cost, or half the cost from his own income?

He doesn't want to be kind enough to his parents to pay half the costs of the free holiday though, sadly. OP has offered to cover 50% herself, so the problem would be solved if he put his hand in his pocket. Which considering she can't exactly charge her parents when they funded it in the first place, means she's being much more generous to PILs than their own son is.

That they’re her husband’s parents does not preclude them from also being cheeky fuckers. They do not gain entitlement to OP’s assets by virtue of closer proximity.

They’ve been offered a choice between a free or heavily discounted holiday. Instead of graciously accepting this, they’re pushing for more.

I had that with my ski apartment. SIL wants February (half-term). Two years in a row they asked for a free week in peak season. Two years in a row I’ve said no - you can come in March or January My niece is not in school yet.

I still don't know why she's done an AIBU, when she is firmly convinced she's most definitely not BU!

If you say yes they’ll be asking you to stay for free every year

Not everyone. Dh has some wealthy relatives who have a holiday house in Spain. Every time we see them, they tell us we can use it for holidays, they’ll arrange a driver etc etc. we murmur nice noises then never take them
up on the offer. Why? Because we just aren’t in a position to return the favour and I just don’t want to feel obligated in any way-and I would by having a free holiday. That’s different though-if it were DH’s parents, I’d accept as it’s a lot closer than distant family iyswim.

And they wonder why their ‘rich’ relatives aren’t falling over themselves to be generous to them. As if there isn’t a huge difference between being generous to
someone who doesn’t expect it from you, and being generous to someone who thinks you’re a resource.

“They’re mean and tight fisted”, aka “they don’t share my opinions regarding my entitlement to their money”.

Presumably you'd be happy to have a week off unpaid every year to facilitate your in laws. As that is what you are telling the op to do

it's easy to be generous with other people's money or hypothetical money you don't even have 😂

and you keep forgetting that they ARE getting a week for free! Which they shouldn't even get, it's a business, but they are just CF who feel entitled to other people's properties.

Your in-laws want you to buy them a holiday.

Erm, that would be a flat no.

You are running this as a business - and there's no room for being soft in business.

So true!

I don't know, you only have the villa because it was made possible by someone else. It comes across as very mean. A new outfit and a few dinners is all it means. How greedy this sounds.