AIBU to not let in laws use my villa for free in peak season?

[dilwithvil]

I have a villa in Europe by the beach that I own independently of my husband. It’s effectively a high-end Airbnb in a very popular area and is usually fully booked from mid May until late September. It’s one of my income streams (I’m a SAHM but I manage several investments/assets, and this is part of my income). My husband also earns a very good salary, for full context, but all of “my spending” (coffee with a friend, make up, clothes, dentist) is paid by me from this income. I earn more than my husband.

My in-laws would like to use the villa for a week in peak season for free. My view is that peak season is when the villa earns money. If I block out a week for them, I’m not just “sharing a holiday home”, I’m giving up a week’s rental income.

I’ve said they’re very welcome to use it either in low season, when bookings are much quieter, or at very short notice if a peak-season booking unexpectedly cancels (which almost never happens).

They’re unhappy with this because they want to be able to plan a holiday well in advance, and they don’t want to go in low season because the weather is less reliable. Even if they paid half the market rate this is more than they would usually pay for a holiday, so they don’t want to pay that either.

For context, my parents do occasionally use the villa in peak season. The villa ultimately came from my side of the family (family money/early inheritance), so I don’t really see that as the same thing. Without them, there wouldn’t be a villa in the first place.

Also, while I get on reasonably well with my in-laws, I wouldn’t choose to holiday with them for a week or two, so inviting them while we’re there isn’t really something I want to do either.

AIBU for saying that if they want to use it in peak season, they should either pay the market rate (or even half), or go in low season? Or should family simply be allowed to use it for free regardless of the income I’d be giving up?

My first reaction to @dilwithvil is "how mean". If you are wealthy, which OP is, and your inlaws are on a limited budget, then it's a pleasure to offer them a week in the holiday home surely. But that's my take and I am generous because it gives me joy (even though I'm not as wealthy as OP). So you do come across as very stingy and selfish OP. But so many wealthy people are sadly.

But.. if the inlaws know that this is OPs property and not their son's I think they are cheeky to ask. Personally I would never ask but hope for an offer. And when OP said no they insisted which is quite rude.

So I wouldn't want to know any of you irl- one hand selfish and stingy- other hand CF. Let's just say you deserve each other.

I have a holiday cottage. The rule is .... no family freebies during peak season.

It’s tricky, but I get what you’re saying, that income is your salary. It’s like me saying to my in-laws, here is my £2300 salary for the month of July - take it and go to Majorca for a week. No one would do that.

Going forward I would just have a blanket rule for friends and family wanting your villa ‘High season it’s not available, low season 50 percent off’. Take it or fuck off and pay for your own holiday.

It sounds like you’ve got a few quid and the in-laws just feel entitled.

It's quite sickening how this is all about money, when it's not actually needed in the sense that many families need it- it's her own personal spending on non-essentials.

If I had £50K pa and more for myself, I'd feel a great deal of pleasure in giving away a week for free to my in laws who couldn't afford it.

If I had to 'justify' it in £s I'd say it was 2 birthday and 2 Christmas gifts and something I could very easily afford to do.

It's £2000 per high season week.

OP offered it to PiL for half price, or free in low season.

So? I’m not sure how she came to own the villa is relevant.

Sometimes it’s nice, sure, and she has offered to let them use it for free, or at a reduced rate during peak season. Those options don’t suit them though.

Could you indicate how the fact that OP is providing childcare which means DH doesnt have to pay towards it could be referenced, without it being an outpouring of sympathy? I'm keen to help you tackle this concern whilst ensuring the neutral information about childcare costs remains clear.

The problem that I see with all this is that this will not be a one off. There will be an expectation that they can do this every year. And regardless of whether the OP can afford to lose her income for this week (and pay all the gas/electricity/water as well as tax) just once would be perhaps okay. BUT the expectation that once allowed then it's fine every year is I suspect what would happen.

Don’t do it. They’ll be expecting it every year. Give an inch, take a mile.

I think you are greedy. (Unless you are a troll...)
Your income should also contribute towards the family expenses. What exempts you from paying your share of household bills? And if you treated my parents like you treat your in laws, I'd definitely re consider the relationship. They are family even if you don't see it like that.

I'd happily allocate a week a year peak season for my in-laws, provided we not ally had a good relationship and I could afford it, which it sounds like you do on both counts.

Of course it is up to you, but if I liked and cared about the people in question or my partner did, I would absolutely want to think of them having this enjoyment.

If it meant bread and water for the month for you then of course that is different, but a couple of extra meals out or whatever as you put it? Totally fine by me.

How would you feel if your husband owned a villa and let his parents stay for free, but not yours? It sounds like you're rich enough that you could let them have this and just don't want, rather than it actually impacting you significantly financially

We have more disposable income than DS’s GF’s family. DS and GF are students/minimum wage. We have paid towards holidays, treats, activities etc for both of them not just DS. And we would be happy to pay for something just for the GF.

All the money OP earns is disposable income for her, not even the family. Not saying she has to give it all away but maybe treat in-laws similar way to her parents for a week (and at least she doesn’t have to actually go on holiday either them!)

Not wanted to spend it and not having it are different things.

OP literally said (twice) that she'd consider letting them stay for half the market rate but they don't want to do that 🙄

Or can't afford that, which is different

exactly this.
I don't get the people saying it's not fair to let her parents use it.

OP has explained that it's a family inheritance. Similar to if her parents bought her a car and asked if they could borrow it when theirs is in the garage - makes sense you'd be happy to do that even if it was a little bit inconvenient as without them you wouldn't have a car at all. Whereas if your in laws wanted to use your car for a week for free it's understandable you'd say 'No sorry I need it.'

The fact that they won't even consider paying half pushes them into CF territory IMO.

You don't like them it's obvious.

So you would think the same if they asked her (rather than her husband) for cash to pay for a holiday?

This is about them being rich?

I find it fascinating how proximity to greater wealth (at any scale) engenders grabbiness and a false sense of entitlement in some people. The attitude of ‘they have more than me, so they can afford to pay for me, so they should’. Why?

People with this attitude are like leeches. They want to be subsidised, have no shame and they won’t let go. Tread very carefully.

Choosing to offer gifts to people you like and trust, who respect you and won’t take advantage, is a different situation entirely.

If I can't afford a holiday I .... don't go on it.
Like the vast majority of the population.
Not whine and sulk and guilt trip someone else to pay for it for me.

Good for you but completely irrelevant to OP.

The fact the income goes on non-essentials is irrelevant, unless you think it's ok for one's in-laws to say "I see you spend a proportion of your income on non-essentials. You should instead pay that money to us so we can spend it on non-essentials".

Honestly, the number of people on this thread who think they are entitled to other people's money is mind-boggling.

The thing is, if you did it once they would expect it again. And it doesn’t matter how much money you have, or whether or not you could afford to lose the holiday’s income, it’s down to the fact that they are wanting something for nothing. I think it’s really rude of them to expect it. CFs.

Are you unreasonable for not just giving your in-laws £3 thousand pounds every year? (guessed amount) Hell no!

Do other posters give away a week's wages to in-laws and also pay someone to clean their house? Bet they bloody don't.

Agreed.