AIBU to not let in laws use my villa for free in peak season?

[dilwithvil]

I have a villa in Europe by the beach that I own independently of my husband. It’s effectively a high-end Airbnb in a very popular area and is usually fully booked from mid May until late September. It’s one of my income streams (I’m a SAHM but I manage several investments/assets, and this is part of my income). My husband also earns a very good salary, for full context, but all of “my spending” (coffee with a friend, make up, clothes, dentist) is paid by me from this income. I earn more than my husband.

My in-laws would like to use the villa for a week in peak season for free. My view is that peak season is when the villa earns money. If I block out a week for them, I’m not just “sharing a holiday home”, I’m giving up a week’s rental income.

I’ve said they’re very welcome to use it either in low season, when bookings are much quieter, or at very short notice if a peak-season booking unexpectedly cancels (which almost never happens).

They’re unhappy with this because they want to be able to plan a holiday well in advance, and they don’t want to go in low season because the weather is less reliable. Even if they paid half the market rate this is more than they would usually pay for a holiday, so they don’t want to pay that either.

For context, my parents do occasionally use the villa in peak season. The villa ultimately came from my side of the family (family money/early inheritance), so I don’t really see that as the same thing. Without them, there wouldn’t be a villa in the first place.

Also, while I get on reasonably well with my in-laws, I wouldn’t choose to holiday with them for a week or two, so inviting them while we’re there isn’t really something I want to do either.

AIBU for saying that if they want to use it in peak season, they should either pay the market rate (or even half), or go in low season? Or should family simply be allowed to use it for free regardless of the income I’d be giving up?

The last line of this is genius in my opinion . It would get them off your back, not set up a precedent going forward, your husband would presumably feel he needed to make some contribution to it, and may well sit better with you. Ok, it might be a more generous gift than you would normally give, but I can definitely see 'value' in you doing it.

Tha back story is her parents funded part of it. His parents just want to use it. It's hardly fucking rocket science

If I had been gifted not only a holiday home but the family home, and the holiday home provides an income to me, not the person who gifted it. I had a partner who paid all the bills so all money I earned on a property that I didn’t have to pay for was mine for fun and personal spends (and no mortgage to pay for) I would feel a tight git to not treat my in-laws to a holiday in the same way I treat my parents (especially if the in-laws didn’t have similar disposable income).

I would feel very fortunate to be in that position due to someone else’s generosity that I would want to share some of that generosity even if it meant I would have to go without a new outfit

I don’t get all the “you’re so mean”
comments. She’s offered it to them for free just NOT when THEY want it.

its a business, OP’s parents contributed to this business and so therefore their one week is a very justified ROI.

Yes it's just so mean and nasty to offer people a weeks holiday for FREE.

I see it this way: OPs husband, who has a free house and does not have childcare costs, won’t contribute to his own parents holiday, how mean!

I think a lot of people who are saying op is BU make a few small tweaks to what has been said and it flips a lot.

My parents gifted me a holiday home for free but part of the gifting agreement was that they could use it for 2 weeks per year.

My in-laws have asked me to gift them 5% of my yearly income.

If you look at it like that then it is a very different story and that is effectively what has happened here.

Yes exactly he's not paying for childcare. OP covers all those costs. It would have to be funded some other way if she didn't. And as a point of fact, he doesn't pay for everything because OP is the one who contributes the marital home.

I think there's reason to question the unequal spends, but they quite clearly are both making financial contributions to the family and the OPs may well be significantly more in value. I presume nobody is going to pretend to think they might be living in some 60k ex crackhouse that rents at £500 a month? Housing is dear!

Also, when did the word 'gift' become a verb?

Part of me feels like you too, but n reality it won’t be a one off as the in-laws sound quite entitled, and the op will be back to square one in a year or twos time when they want to go again, or they want another family member to have a turn in peak season for whatever reason.

the op has offered half price peak and free off peak - it will likely cost her something to do this so she has offered a gift to her in-laws and they aren’t willing to compromise and graciously accept the gift on offer.

Slightly off topic but in the UK generally money goes down and not up. Parents should not expect their children or children’s spouses to subsidise them.

If they won’t/can’t afford half price, and you and DH have entirely separate finances, ask if he (and any siblings he has) wants to top it up so you don’t lose out entirely. Half price high season is more than fair of you!

As this is something your parents contributed to, it’s an entirely different set of circumstances , and no YANBU.

On the 1k point, maybe that was in reference to paying half? As there are other posts about it being multiple thousands and above a thousand. It's not very clear.

Imagine your in laws said "please give us £3k- we don't need it, we just want it". Would you feel bad about saying no?

If not, then don't feel bad about this.

my contribution to family is being a SAHM and the property we live in

Your house that you live in with your husband and children is owned by you too?

I think you are not being unreasonable. It was very telling that you said your husband didn’t want to fund their holiday. They are his parents, but everyone expects you to do it.

And of course your parents stay in it. That isn’t anything like the PILs situation.

And this sounds like an ongoing conversation, which is weird. Don't they like it when people say no?

Threads like this make me fear for the future and who my son might marry. My sister owns an Air b'B and she blocks it out for us whenever we want to use it. We have offered to pay via the site (she needs a certain number of bookings per year for business status) but she refuses and won't let us pay a penny. We of course pay for food/meals out etc. This is all peak holiday time as we have school aged children. They also let other family and friends use it foc. They are certainly NOT rich either and absolutely miss out on paid bookings by doing this. I think you should let them use it, and graciously.

Didn’t you know OP, being able to afford something means you’re morally obliged to suck up the loss? If you don’t, you’re tight and mean apparently. They are of course not cheeky fuckers by expecting you to forego income. /s

YANBU. You’ve been very fair in what you have offered.

@InterIgnis but she is only able to afford it due to someone else’s generosity. Sometimes it is nice to pay that generosity forward

It’s basically the same as handing over cash. Are you prepared to hand over a quarter of a months wages so your in laws can go on a weeks holiday? I suspect most wouldn’t.

Sounds like she has separate finances to husband so even if the argument is she’s handing cash to her parents, I doubt anyone would say she also has to do this for his parents.

I’d say no. If you do it once, they’ll want to use it every year.

Or your sister may be feeling similar to the OP and just hasn't got the guts to say it so takes the hit when everyone wants to use her air b&b free of charge when really they could do with the money, which is why they have an air b&b.
Generous people often get taken advantage of.
Interesting you think that buying your own food and meals out makes it ok 😂

I guess there are a couple of potential differences- you have offered to pay your sister full price, plus it is your sister giving you the gift - op lets her family stay there in peak time. The op has offered free off peak to her in-laws laws. You may also have helped out your sister in different ways over the years

I do wish OP had not said she was a SAHM.

Because there is all this outpouring of sympathy as she's 'saving him' childcare costs.

That's a bit weird because if they are pre-school they don't have any childcare costs , unless they go to nursery. And nursery is not compulsory.

She is a mum who works from home.
Big difference.

She runs the Airbnb and her 'investments'.

She works, But it's from home.

Yabu. If your parents stayed you would go without the new outfit and meals out with friends but not for your in-laws.

How often do your parents go there?
It was a gift with strings attached which says a lot about your attitude to family. It’s transactional.

If your sister relies on the Airbnb for her income then I think you're being outrageous in using it in peak season, whatever she says. You're basically taking her income. Would you help yourself to money from her purse if she told you she didn't mind?

If it's more of a hobby then perhaps it's more ok.