AIBU to not let in laws use my villa for free in peak season?

[dilwithvil]

I have a villa in Europe by the beach that I own independently of my husband. It’s effectively a high-end Airbnb in a very popular area and is usually fully booked from mid May until late September. It’s one of my income streams (I’m a SAHM but I manage several investments/assets, and this is part of my income). My husband also earns a very good salary, for full context, but all of “my spending” (coffee with a friend, make up, clothes, dentist) is paid by me from this income. I earn more than my husband.

My in-laws would like to use the villa for a week in peak season for free. My view is that peak season is when the villa earns money. If I block out a week for them, I’m not just “sharing a holiday home”, I’m giving up a week’s rental income.

I’ve said they’re very welcome to use it either in low season, when bookings are much quieter, or at very short notice if a peak-season booking unexpectedly cancels (which almost never happens).

They’re unhappy with this because they want to be able to plan a holiday well in advance, and they don’t want to go in low season because the weather is less reliable. Even if they paid half the market rate this is more than they would usually pay for a holiday, so they don’t want to pay that either.

For context, my parents do occasionally use the villa in peak season. The villa ultimately came from my side of the family (family money/early inheritance), so I don’t really see that as the same thing. Without them, there wouldn’t be a villa in the first place.

Also, while I get on reasonably well with my in-laws, I wouldn’t choose to holiday with them for a week or two, so inviting them while we’re there isn’t really something I want to do either.

AIBU for saying that if they want to use it in peak season, they should either pay the market rate (or even half), or go in low season? Or should family simply be allowed to use it for free regardless of the income I’d be giving up?

There are two sorts of people in the world.
Givers and takers.

OP would rather spend her income on clothes, coffee, make up, dinners, outfits than show some generosity towards the in laws who are too poor to pay for the villa.
And she is in a marriage where they both earn a lot.

In theory they shouldn't ask for it peak season BUT at the same I don't think £1K is worth the nasty taste it will leave and it's just mean behaviour.

Someone who knows the cost of everything but the value of nothing. You say you have various income streams, out earn your husband from passive income yet can’t be generous to his parents? Just because it’s a nice thing to do?

I own property independent of my husband. I pay the taxes associated with it, not him.
In a divorce, it will count as an asset.
If I die, I could chose to leave it to the local Cats Home.

Being married doesnt nean you cant have your own assets

Sorry I missed the bit where the op has provided the HOUSE THAT THEY LIVE IN? I thought it was just the holiday home.

Anywayyyy she allegedly earns more than her dh. They allegedly have a nanny so she isn't providing free child care. Why is the dh paying for everything while she spends her 'income stream' on clothes and lunches. It's just all so weird and quite hilarious tbh.

It is tight and and unpleasant to favour one set of parents over the others even if one set allegedly contributed to the holiday home.

Where did the no sticky mitts on the marital property part come from?

I love the way the in-laws in this thread are slowly morphing into a frail, sweet little old lady and gent dressed in rags and begging on a street corner.

Can't you just tell them it's fully booked for high season?

Honestly you either have the level of wealth you are trying to suggest and are just tight or you dont have as much as you are projecting as honestly I have far less than you seem to be trying to suggest and would never be ao tight with family. Hell I gave away more last month to help a couple people barely in my life. So you either dont have as much as you are suggesting, you are really tight or you really dislike these people.

I just cant see being this well off and being this stressy over a couple thousand pounds. Or maybe I just surround myself with more generous people but I couldnt think of a single person that would be this tight with family when they say they dont need the money and its just for nice things.

I assume that if they live in England or Wales the house and villa would be marital assets unless there has been specific provision otherwise. I have inherited something and whilst it has particular sentimental meaning to me I consider it as a joint asset.

Regardless I think the offer of May or out of season is absolutely fine - providing that they have the sort of jobs that automatically mean they cant take time off at those times.

I think it depends on the type of in laws you have tbh, would it become an expectation and a regular thing, or is it a one off treat? I would say yes to one and no to the other!

They aren't.

But if OP is in her 30s or 40s they will be 60s or older. And not well off.

She is, but doesn't like sharing her good fortune.

I don't know anyone in RL who would behave like this over £1K.

Karma - something will bite her on the bum at some point.

If my own kids were saying to me (my kids, not even my DIL or SIL):

Mum, pick a week between October and May so we can block it, and feel free to enjoy the holiday home

My reaction would NOT be to complain and make ridiculous demands, saying that a free holiday is not generous, but would be to say THANK YOU (and think I raise them well 😂)

The "takers" are not the ones you pretend they are here, but interesting to see how the mind of entitled CF work.

This thread is an eye-opener on how entitled people are.

This!

Since you have separate finances to your husband, I would ask him to transfer you half the cost of the villa so at least both of you are taking a financial hit when being generous to his family.

Jeez. I feel sorry for the poor guy. If the situation were reversed, I can’t believe a man wouldn’t show some generosity to his wife’s parents when he would have all the outfits and coffees he could possibly want. Especially if she funded everything else and his money is just for spends.

Wow. You sound bitter and jealous. And I’m going to report your nasty post.

No it's an eye opener to how selfish some people are.
It's one bloody week that means she will lose £1K which she doesn't actually 'need' as her spends are all on shallow stuff.

Yes, she is providing childcare that is free to the DH. OP either looks after the two preschoolers herself or the nanny she pays for does it. He pays nothing for the childcare of the 3 small children that allows him to work.

I too find one partner having more fun money than the other odd. Unless he has shitloads himself too I suppose in which case maybe neither of them care enough to bother with the faff of sorting it. But OP is covering what would usually be the two biggest expenses for a family with 3 kids including 2 preschool.

Who cares if she needs it? A thousand pounds is a thousand pounds.

I don't know anyone in RL who would behave like this over £1K.
you must be pretty wealthy if you look down at a £1k gift like that 😂😂

She doesn't like sharing her good fortune free holiday not good enough for you? You also expect a free house maybe? What about a monthly cash gift? A car and a live-in house help too? Would that be more acceptable for your high standards? 😂😂

It's not a 'holiday home' just used by OP and her family.
It's a business property, used to generate income - that's completely different.

OP pays for the nanny/housekeeper 2 days a week so she is providing full-time childcare ie her husband does no childcare himself and also doesn't pay for any.

People sure do love spending other people's money.

I agree with you OP. The level of entitlement from some posters on this thread is shocking!

OP are you protected in terms of a divorce?

On the subject of your PIL using your villa for free, I agree with you it’s downright cheeky for them to expect to use it for free.

Tell them they pay market rates or they can’t use it. If you say yes now they will just keep asking.