AIBU to not let in laws use my villa for free in peak season?

[dilwithvil]

I have a villa in Europe by the beach that I own independently of my husband. It’s effectively a high-end Airbnb in a very popular area and is usually fully booked from mid May until late September. It’s one of my income streams (I’m a SAHM but I manage several investments/assets, and this is part of my income). My husband also earns a very good salary, for full context, but all of “my spending” (coffee with a friend, make up, clothes, dentist) is paid by me from this income. I earn more than my husband.

My in-laws would like to use the villa for a week in peak season for free. My view is that peak season is when the villa earns money. If I block out a week for them, I’m not just “sharing a holiday home”, I’m giving up a week’s rental income.

I’ve said they’re very welcome to use it either in low season, when bookings are much quieter, or at very short notice if a peak-season booking unexpectedly cancels (which almost never happens).

They’re unhappy with this because they want to be able to plan a holiday well in advance, and they don’t want to go in low season because the weather is less reliable. Even if they paid half the market rate this is more than they would usually pay for a holiday, so they don’t want to pay that either.

For context, my parents do occasionally use the villa in peak season. The villa ultimately came from my side of the family (family money/early inheritance), so I don’t really see that as the same thing. Without them, there wouldn’t be a villa in the first place.

Also, while I get on reasonably well with my in-laws, I wouldn’t choose to holiday with them for a week or two, so inviting them while we’re there isn’t really something I want to do either.

AIBU for saying that if they want to use it in peak season, they should either pay the market rate (or even half), or go in low season? Or should family simply be allowed to use it for free regardless of the income I’d be giving up?

She also provided the house they live in, so DH isn't paying any mortgage or rent costs - that's a huge financial contribution by OP.

We have more disposable income than my MIL. We have taken her on holiday and paid for her (she will pay for a dinner out as a thank you).

If we were as wealthy as OP sounds (SAHM with nanny and housekeeper) and in-laws were not in anyway the same league as wealthy then yes I would treat them to a week’s holiday in same way as I would treat my parents (who in OP’s case I assume are in the same wealth bracket as able to gift her the villa in the first place). Even if in-laws could afford it I would offer a reduced rate.

There would be a limit of weeks and which relatives were offered reduced rate. But if you offer one set of parents the villa it does feel mean not to offer the other set of parents the same (unless they treat you badly)

The OP has her lifestyle courtesy both of her family, gifting property and her DH paying all the bills. And having a nanny etc makes her life as a SAHM easier than the average SAHM

She's looking after her own children (when the nanny/housekeeper isn't doing it), so what?

She also has an income larger than her DH, yet she is not financially contributing to the household. She's hoarding her own assets and larger income to herself, and expecting her DH with a smaller income and assets to pay all her living expenses.

Typical case of 'whar's yours is ours, but what's mine is mine'.

She's financially abusive.

OP has said the villa will revert to her own family upon her death.

So her and family have made legal arrangements that you are not privy to.

You have a high end second home by the beach( that you acquired from other people not your hard work) but you are too mean to share a small portion of your good fortune with your in-laws. You must be a very mean person or hate your in-laws or maybe both.

If your husband wants his parents to use 'your' villa, he can pay for them to use it.

But at the same time they need to offer to pay.

I feel slightly uncomfortable about how you as a married couple regard your joint assets as if you were single people.

But OP's parents contributed to the cost of the villa so it makes sense that OP would let them stay without payment. There has been no such contribution from her ILs and no suggestion from them of them making any sort of payment to spend a week at the villa during high season. They've said that they can't afford to pay half the actual cost of staying in the villa but haven't suggested a lower payment. They just expect to stay for free during high season. They sound pushy and entitled.

Which OP funds, so either way it's her covering those costs. I agree though, nothing to suggest they're not both fine with it.

This is what I came to say. Off peak is fine or can you offer them first week of peak eg first week in May

That she was given for free and is only needed to fund luxuries, OP has stated all bills are paid for by her husband.

Share the wealth and all that jazz.

Do you see all SAHMs contribution as 'so what'? Or is the idea of a SAHM with her own healthy income anathema to you?

Yes. I know she funds it.

Why can’t your husband pay for them?
You forego income for your parents why can’t he forego income for his?

'Her' family?

So her Will says that her husband won't inherit the villa.

I wonder why?

Because her family effectively paid for the villa!

Can't you see the diffence?

If they hadn't she probably wouldn't let them use it at peak season.

Yes, not even her children. There's a lot more to this than meets the eye.

Because the villa has come from OP's family.

Her husband would still have the joint assets upon OP's death. He won't be booted out of their home.

These things are never a one off. If they are the type of people who don't want to acknowledge the obvious impact this has on OP, you can be absolutely certain they are not self aware enough to accept this as just a once off goodwill gesture.

They will expect it every summer from here on out. And probably greater favours on top of that - discounts for their friends, etc.

I wouldn't actually be surprised if they'd already told their friends they're off to their Sons villa (yes, son, not DIL) for summer.

My pal had a Portuguese villa and he simply said he and his family couldn't afford to holiday there in peak season.

And OP pays for the nanny/housekeeper too.

They're unhappy that you've offered them free use of your villa either in low season or at short notice if a peak-season booking cancels? CFs! Stand firm OP - this is your income, why should you hand over a chunk of it to your CF ILs?

It might be that, or it could be a particular form of ownership. It's abroad and we don't know the country or rules, so hard to speculate.

Which is another reason why all the legal bullshitting is so daft, of course.

I think you sound mean.

You are very well off by all accounts- not working but managing investments and a holiday home which your parents gave you.

Are you really so stuck for cash that you need the £1K you'd lose if your in laws stayed there?

It's just plain nasty.

Personally I would look at the bookings and offer a free week that isn’t peak time, give them a choice of a few dates, if they moan about the weather just say that the Villa is booked out all other dates. They don’t need to know when it’s free, you manage the bookings after all. I would probably do that annually, when they ask for peaks dates trot out “ it’s already booked up”. Don’t say sorry

I can't believe they've even asked!
It would never occur to me to ask for such an expensive gift, even from my own family