AIBU to not let in laws use my villa for free in peak season?

[dilwithvil]

I have a villa in Europe by the beach that I own independently of my husband. It’s effectively a high-end Airbnb in a very popular area and is usually fully booked from mid May until late September. It’s one of my income streams (I’m a SAHM but I manage several investments/assets, and this is part of my income). My husband also earns a very good salary, for full context, but all of “my spending” (coffee with a friend, make up, clothes, dentist) is paid by me from this income. I earn more than my husband.

My in-laws would like to use the villa for a week in peak season for free. My view is that peak season is when the villa earns money. If I block out a week for them, I’m not just “sharing a holiday home”, I’m giving up a week’s rental income.

I’ve said they’re very welcome to use it either in low season, when bookings are much quieter, or at very short notice if a peak-season booking unexpectedly cancels (which almost never happens).

They’re unhappy with this because they want to be able to plan a holiday well in advance, and they don’t want to go in low season because the weather is less reliable. Even if they paid half the market rate this is more than they would usually pay for a holiday, so they don’t want to pay that either.

For context, my parents do occasionally use the villa in peak season. The villa ultimately came from my side of the family (family money/early inheritance), so I don’t really see that as the same thing. Without them, there wouldn’t be a villa in the first place.

Also, while I get on reasonably well with my in-laws, I wouldn’t choose to holiday with them for a week or two, so inviting them while we’re there isn’t really something I want to do either.

AIBU for saying that if they want to use it in peak season, they should either pay the market rate (or even half), or go in low season? Or should family simply be allowed to use it for free regardless of the income I’d be giving up?

they're "loaded" and yet the husband still needs to work and the OP needs her income to pay for essentials. Interesting view

So in short, they seem to be earning more than YOU. Is that what making you so angry?

she just doesn’t want to let them go when they want.
because what THEY WANT is not the definition of a CF making ridiculous demands instead of being grateful for a gift? 😂😂

It would depend on what the relationship with them is like. Are they generous to you?

Not an MIL. Just a decent person who would treat my husband's parents with the same respect as my own – and do in fact.

No point spewing out convoluted analogies about designer presents – irrelevant.

She’d be sharing her parents’ money with his parents. Why would you think that was expected?

If you gave your DC something to make their life easier, wouldn’t you be irritated to see it being used by their in-laws?

Interesting that you see a business decision as ‘mean girl’ vibes. What about DH’s refusal to cover half the costs, given that they’re his parents ? It isn’t a family home abroad standing empty. It’s a business.

ThreadGuardDog · Today 09:49
She freely admits the money isn't going to be saved for her future, it's going to be spent on luxury experiences and goods.
She also says:
Where does the extra money go, if I don’t spend it on bills?
my savings, more investments. Ultimately my children’s inheritance
So many posters picking and choosing OP’s words to suit their narrative.

You: No. We are following the OPs own narrative.
We have no other information to go on.
We are following what we see as her decision making process and her financial priorities.

Making shit up is what's going on here.

YANBU OP. The via is your income - it doesn’t matter whether you spend that income on handbags or the weekly food shop. It is your income and no one can tell you or how to spend it or expect you to give it up to give someone a free holiday. Not only would you be losing a week of earnings but also still doing the work as the bills for the villa, utilities, cleaning etc would still be the same for them as a paying guest. Offering them a week in low season for free is more than generous - you don’t even have to do that if you don’t want to.

@dilwithvil is the villa even free the week they want to go? So PIL aren't going to contribute anything? Water/electricity/gas they use. That's bordering on CF territory for me.

@RedToothBrush she can't charge her parents, they gave her the villa for goodness sake.

And should they divorce will the villa still be HERS? Nope, divide the assets when married. Never understood people when married (which children as the OP is a SAHM) who think in terms of mine and yours. IT's ours when married - legally and otherwise.

OP you are being unreasonable. You make more money than your husband who pays all the bills for coffees and treats, let you parents use the villa for free, are married and don't want to do something nice.

I’m not even slightly angry and you know nothing about my finances. She’s asked for opinions and I’m observing that she’s being tight.

Everyone's incomes, no matter how large or small, pays for the essentials.

Plenty of people also work to afford all the trimmings, despite having a partner who could technically cover all the outgoings.

All of that is irrelevant to affordability.

Perhaps you need to look at this issue with a counsellor.

😂😂😂

This is why I love this forum.
When you think CF have reach their peak level of entitlement, there's more.
It's not often posts make me genuinely laugh but this is beautiful 😂😂

How well off are the IL's?

I suspect there might be a bit of resentment there.

What do you think divorce has to do with anything? They aren't divorced.

I'm staggered at the poll result.
The OP is not just well off she's wealthy.
She would barely miss the money it's the principle she objects to.
The meaness is shocking and sad to view life from such a mercenary angle.

I still fail to see how giving a free holiday to people, no string attached, can be ever considered "tight" but I am not surrounded by CF like the in-laws so I am not used to that entitled attitude 😂

🤣🤣🤣

Why is he paying everything when you say 'I earn more than my husband' is he a doormat or something?

She’s a SAHP for two kids who’d otherwise likely be in nursery and that’s equivalent to thousands a month, before you add holiday childcare and breakfast/ASC for the one in school. So she’s saving the family that amount of outgoings - I think that’s likely to work out at a pretty large financial contribution!

Agreed! It is astounding the number of people who are telling her to lose £1k for her in-laws. It sounds like her in-laws don’t want to pay anything and are being demanding, rather than they are financially on their knees and have politely asked and are happy to fit in with what is least inconvenient for OP.

Hands up who would give their in-laws £1k from their income (or I guess a proportionate amount based on your earnings) because their in-laws demanded it and didn’t want to use their money?

Regarding OP’s parents using it, I could be wrong but I get the impression that instead of putting money aside for OP in their wills, they have essentially given it now for her to enjoy early and to help her out with income while a SAHP. In there circumstances I would understand that OP wants to share it with them also as it is their investment almost (not sure how to describe!) I don’t believe it is as straightforward as playing favourites with parents.

OP has provided THE HOUSE THEY LIVE IN, so they have no monthly mortgage or rent to pay, plus free childcare, as well as paying all her own personal costs.

That's a pretty hefty financial contribution.

Although to be fair, for 2 days there's a nanny/housekeeper.
Anyway, that's all their choice as a couple, so they are obviously both happy with the situation.

I agree with you, OP. This is essentially your family property, so it's perfectly reasonable for your parents to stay there. Your in-laws are bring extraordinarily cheeky and entitled - you've offered them a free stay in off season, or half the market rate in peak season and they don't wish to accept either. They just want you to gift them several thousand pounds. If you'd come on here and asked, 'My in-laws are demanding I give them a £3000 cash present for Christmas. AIBU to say no?" you would have had unanimous support.

It could be because OPs contribution of a home he doesn't have to pay for plus zero childcare costs to him for his 3 children amounts to the same or more than the bills DH covers. That is at the very least a realistic possibility. If it's more, would that make OP a doormat?

Personally we'd still one pot it and have equal spends, so her having more fun money than him is weird to me. Not the way we would ever want to do it. But then neither DH nor I had any assets when we met and aren't likely to inherit much, so I appreciate that leaves me open to comments about how half of fuck all is fuck all.

I think it's reasonable to see this as your job. If you were a plumber or a carpenter it wouldn't be reasonable to demand mates rates; very much a bonus if offered, but ultimately it's about opportunity cost. We had relatives with second homes and we did occasionally use them, but I can't imagine my parents demanding and then having a strop when peak season wasn't offered for free. Stuff like this is a bonus. If I were them I'd view your May offer as worth a shot.