AIBU to not let in laws use my villa for free in peak season?

[dilwithvil]

I have a villa in Europe by the beach that I own independently of my husband. It’s effectively a high-end Airbnb in a very popular area and is usually fully booked from mid May until late September. It’s one of my income streams (I’m a SAHM but I manage several investments/assets, and this is part of my income). My husband also earns a very good salary, for full context, but all of “my spending” (coffee with a friend, make up, clothes, dentist) is paid by me from this income. I earn more than my husband.

My in-laws would like to use the villa for a week in peak season for free. My view is that peak season is when the villa earns money. If I block out a week for them, I’m not just “sharing a holiday home”, I’m giving up a week’s rental income.

I’ve said they’re very welcome to use it either in low season, when bookings are much quieter, or at very short notice if a peak-season booking unexpectedly cancels (which almost never happens).

They’re unhappy with this because they want to be able to plan a holiday well in advance, and they don’t want to go in low season because the weather is less reliable. Even if they paid half the market rate this is more than they would usually pay for a holiday, so they don’t want to pay that either.

For context, my parents do occasionally use the villa in peak season. The villa ultimately came from my side of the family (family money/early inheritance), so I don’t really see that as the same thing. Without them, there wouldn’t be a villa in the first place.

Also, while I get on reasonably well with my in-laws, I wouldn’t choose to holiday with them for a week or two, so inviting them while we’re there isn’t really something I want to do either.

AIBU for saying that if they want to use it in peak season, they should either pay the market rate (or even half), or go in low season? Or should family simply be allowed to use it for free regardless of the income I’d be giving up?

ah! that must be me thinking that May would be low season but appreciate that's not necessarily the case, dependent on where the villa is situated

It sounds like the in laws are not that helpful or good grandparents.

I'm wondering why, a week before 'peak season', why the 'villa' isn't fully booked already.
I bet it's a shitty chalet next to the runway in Magaluf.

I woud stick to my guns and say low season only, that's still very generous imo. I'm guessing peak would be May to September? Europe in early October or late April is still lovely, but then I'm not a sun worshipper. If I was your mil I would be thrilled, but I wouldn't have asked for a freebie in the first place, it's different if it's just your hoiday home and not let, but it's your business. I think them knowing your parents stay there for free peak season has blurred the boundaries.

I was wondering if there is more to this.

A lot of posts are from people imposing their own version of marriage here.

It doesn't actually inherently mean sharing all income and assets if you don't want it to, not in the UK. Certainly DH and I are a one pot household, but then we met young with fuck all and neither have family money either, so it's easy. But the fact is, some people do it differently. It's evident that OP and DH have quite separate finances. The fact that he doesn't want to pay half his parents holiday even though OP would offer a 50% discount herself is evidence of that.

People seem to be mixing up the fact that on divorce, everything is part of the same pot- in E and W at least, I know Scotland has a different system. But that only applies if you're actually getting divorced. This couple don't appear to be.

can you clarify WHY It's disingenuous of OP to say that the villa came from family money so her own family should benefit.

Parents help pay at least part of something, so it's disingenuous to thank them by inviting them over for a week, when there would be nothing without their gift in the first place?

What does it have to do with the in-laws?

If the in-laws were giving free childcare all year round, and the OP was thanking them by giving them a free week holiday (expensive for her!), and not her own parents, would that be disingenuous too?

Maybe OP is doing her in laws a favour then and they should be grateful.

Moreover it would be unfair to the OPs parents if she gave £2k of value to her inlaws, in the absence of her DH giving an equal gift from his income to the OPs parents.

If the couple had joint finances, this whole situation would be different. But they don't.

The easiest way to see what is fair is to forget about the specifics here and think about the week in the villa only as its monetary value

I had a holiday let in Cornwall for a while. After being shafted on one occasion my rule was mates rates could only be done outside of school summer holidays.

are you ok?

Not everywhere is already booked for 2027, even the most popular places have availability for September THIS YEAR or even July-August next year...

You seem strangely angry 😂

Exactly this. Put another way, posters are supporting OP essentially stumping up the funds to pay for her in laws’ holiday out of her own money, while her DH is refusing to contribute. Add into that, the posters who are insisting that the villa isn’t OP’s, but shared marital property - if that’s the case then why isn’t he paying his fair share for his parents ? Moreover, why isn’t he contributing to the business costs of running and maintaining the property ?

I have flip flopped on this. From a business perspective and because your parents have contributed to it, YANBU. But for the sake of family - who at the end of the day are kind of the whole point of life - I would suck it up. It's one week. You clearly earn enough that this isn't covering core costs.

We were lucky enough to have friends share their holiday home with us, until they sold it. Meant a lot and we will always be grateful.

My in laws are my family too. I couldn’t imagine allowing my parents to use it at peak season but not my in laws. How mean.

tbh sounds like there’s way to much discussion over it already. They asked if they could stay in the villa - yes of course you are welcome i would happily accept 50% of the cost for months xyz or £x for these weeks as you’re in laws. I’m afraid I do have to charge as I’m sure you understand it is our income as well as us having to pay out for cleaners/gardeners/pool upkeep etc. I understand if that is out of your budget and if that is the case I’ve heard there are some nice less expensive places to use on Airbnb etc. around x location. it’s actually none of their business what arrangements you have with others. Just stick to that on repeat. Oh well it’s too expensive, westher won’t be guaranteed then- repeat above.

I agree with you too. If they’re cheeky enough to expect an expensive week away for free I’d not expect them to treat my property with respect either so you might be even further in the hole.

Bypassing the ugliness of your money grabbing inheritance focused point... Her DH will inherit from his parents. The couple chooses to keep their finances separate. She will not gain from their will. (Barring divorce, or her DHs death after a putative inheritance has been paid)

I think offering half price was VERY fair.

Otherwise I agree with offering out of peak.

And say if you ended up with a last minute cancellation or a week you couldn’t fill then you can offer for the cost of the cleaners etc. however that’s on them to sort the transport etc.

Would they have a way of being able to verify (prove you wrong) if you said the villa is now fully booked for the period they want it?

If they can't check the availability online, I'd be tempted to go along with saying it's too late and booked up. I normally prefer to just be honest, as it sounds you have attempted to be, but sometimes it's easier to just shut it down another way.

I think offering it for half price is fair. If they don't see it that way, that's really their problem.

I agree with you OP, this is your only income as a SAHM and whilst you may not “need” the £X000 that you would be losing on them staying there, it’s like they are asking you to give them your own money so they can have a free holiday. Would they do the same for you?

After reading your updates I can see your point.

They don't help you when you need it, and you are using the place as an income stream to be able to stay at home

No one would say to a paid worker ho give their monthly salary so that the in-laws could have a holiday. Ultimately this your paid employment.

To be accurate, it’s ONE of her income streams.

The point remains, would they give up a month or weeks salary to the OP for no reason?

Since you earn more than your DH, do you pay your fair share (i.e. more than half) of family expenses like mortgage, home maintenance, bills, nursery, groceries etc?

If you do, then I guess a "mine is mine, yours is yours" approach is OK. But if you don't, then really it's morally "family money", and your DH should be able to treat his parents to a free week there if he wishes.

It’s a week by the sounds of it you can afford it and your PIL aren’t well off. Out of kindness to them and to DH I wouldn’t refuse.