AIBU to not let in laws use my villa for free in peak season?

[dilwithvil]

I have a villa in Europe by the beach that I own independently of my husband. It’s effectively a high-end Airbnb in a very popular area and is usually fully booked from mid May until late September. It’s one of my income streams (I’m a SAHM but I manage several investments/assets, and this is part of my income). My husband also earns a very good salary, for full context, but all of “my spending” (coffee with a friend, make up, clothes, dentist) is paid by me from this income. I earn more than my husband.

My in-laws would like to use the villa for a week in peak season for free. My view is that peak season is when the villa earns money. If I block out a week for them, I’m not just “sharing a holiday home”, I’m giving up a week’s rental income.

I’ve said they’re very welcome to use it either in low season, when bookings are much quieter, or at very short notice if a peak-season booking unexpectedly cancels (which almost never happens).

They’re unhappy with this because they want to be able to plan a holiday well in advance, and they don’t want to go in low season because the weather is less reliable. Even if they paid half the market rate this is more than they would usually pay for a holiday, so they don’t want to pay that either.

For context, my parents do occasionally use the villa in peak season. The villa ultimately came from my side of the family (family money/early inheritance), so I don’t really see that as the same thing. Without them, there wouldn’t be a villa in the first place.

Also, while I get on reasonably well with my in-laws, I wouldn’t choose to holiday with them for a week or two, so inviting them while we’re there isn’t really something I want to do either.

AIBU for saying that if they want to use it in peak season, they should either pay the market rate (or even half), or go in low season? Or should family simply be allowed to use it for free regardless of the income I’d be giving up?

Everyone’s saying it’s shitty of OP but I think it’s really cheeky of the in-laws!

If my husband had a holiday home handed down from family that he makes money from, I wouldn’t expect my parents to be able to stay there for free in peak season.

Unless the in-laws help out massively in other ways, they’re just being really entitled and it’s beyond cheeky to ask. The compromise you’ve suggested is more than enough. It’s a slippery slope too they’ll expect it every year.

Do you really think OP's in laws treat OP like their own child?

And remember OP's DH has himself said he doesn't want to subsidise his parents stay.

Yet it's OP expected to forego her income, not DH, who is in laws actual child.

And yet they're not saying that. A reverse of the sexes would need to include the same facts, so the DHs parents would've had to pay for the villa initially. Otherwise it's not a reverse.

It's either being deliberately disingenuous or not having read the OPs posts properly.

If my husband had a holiday home handed down from family that he makes money from, I wouldn’t expect my parents to be able to stay there for free in peak season.

And MNers wouldn't expect it either if it was a male landlord. But when it's the daughter in law, she is expected to forget all business sense.

Agree !

It doesn’t matter if she’s rich.

If I had a caravan in Prestatyn (the most I’d be able to afford ☹️ ) I’d think it very cheeky of the in-laws to ask for a free week in peak season if I usually rented it out.

They should gladly accept a low season or cancellation spot.

I remember a regular poster from a few years ago saying she had told no one that they owned a villa abroad and just made out that they rented a place every time. Very wise!!

"My husband also earns a very good salary, for full context, but all of “my spending” (coffee with a friend, make up, clothes, dentist) is paid by me from this income. I earn more than my husband."
Maybe you could skip a week of jolly expensive treats to treat your in-laws. Remember, you and yours will inherit from them one day.

Even if it was their villa before they gave it to her?

Yes

Seems to be a case of " whats yours is mine and whats mines my own"
I cant think of a better way to say you hate your in laws. I wonder how it would pan out if it was DHs villa and he told your parents they couldn't use it for free 😅

People do realise that the OP doesnt just get the 2k? Buisnesses cosy money to run... taxes, utilities, various fees, upkeep etc. Holiday homes make their money only part of year, to cover the whole year.

Shes offered a family discount, free at a less popular time etc. Sjes nit being completely heartless.

But, jts very easy to spend someone elses money...

or both

Since you have separate finances to your DH and you have allowed your parents to stay for free, the fair way to go about this is that your DH pays you the full market rate for his parents to stay there.

You loose x amount when your parents use it.
He looses x amount when his parents use it.

That way you're both individually gifting the same value to each of your respective parents.

this is so weird. Why on Earth would they choose to go peak season? If it’s somewhere on the Med, then early October is generally a great time to go….cool enough to go exploring, warm sea for swimming. Even Northern Europe can still be pleasant enough in late September beginning October. The bonus of not having school age children is holidaying out of season when there are far fewer crowds.

You are right to let your parents use it - it’s a family property. You however Do NOT and should not let your in-laws use it for free - this is your income!

Agree @Lexibletheflexible. The villa is (to my mind) an asset of the marriage. Letting one side of the family use it but not the other feels mean-spirited at best. I can imagine the in-laws feeling hurt.
It's disingenuous of OP to say that the villa came from family money so her own family should benefit. Unless of course she shares the rental income too.
And would it really be a big hit for you, OP, to let them use it? What luxury would you forgo? If this is just one of several assets that you manage, I suspect you earn eye watering amounts of money. Whereas this is a big deal to your in laws. If half of market rate is more than they'd usually pay, that tells me a lot about your relative incomes.
If the boot was in the other foot I imagine a lot of Mumsnetters would start shrieking LTB.

Agreed if DH wanted to treat his parents that would be his choice but he has said he doesn't want to.

And yet all the criticism is reserved for OP on this thread, none for him.

why being so unpleasant?

The OP EARNS money, the same as everyone, why do you think she should give it away? Is anyone earning less than you entitled to freebies from you too? Or are you just resentful of people earning more?

OP already offered the villa to her in-laws during the low season. Beggars can't be choosers.

Firstly my in-laws would never put me in this situation, they would be so grateful for a free week accommodation and would see that a financial loss for me is a financial loss for their grandchildren!

Secondly, I am in awe of your financial savviness! And annoyed for you that you are in this situation!

Wow, you just don't like them OP, and it does come across as mean as some have said.

Imagine if this was the other way round and your parents were treated that way by your husband.

Also, what are you teaching your kids, sounds like a very devided household which never ends well.

You seem to think money is the measure of relationships, which again isn't how you treat family.

I think it’s actually not a single week’s income though - the point is that it makes say 3x in peak season and 0-2x in low season, with 0 being a reasonable possibility! OP therefore needs to earn the max in peak season to offset the lower/zero earnings in other weeks, so it feels to me like it’s not just ‘a week of your office job income’ equivalent but actually significantly more - perhaps more like a month’s worth, when spread across the year.

OP, can you work out what percentage of the average annual income a peak week is worth, and explain it that way?

That's a fair point. I wonder why he doesn't pay his wife for his parents to stay at the villa?.

Do you generally think women 'shriek'?

Weird that you're fine with the DH saying he doesn't want to subsidise his parents' stay but you think OP should suck it up.

This!