AIBU to not let in laws use my villa for free in peak season?

[dilwithvil]

I have a villa in Europe by the beach that I own independently of my husband. It’s effectively a high-end Airbnb in a very popular area and is usually fully booked from mid May until late September. It’s one of my income streams (I’m a SAHM but I manage several investments/assets, and this is part of my income). My husband also earns a very good salary, for full context, but all of “my spending” (coffee with a friend, make up, clothes, dentist) is paid by me from this income. I earn more than my husband.

My in-laws would like to use the villa for a week in peak season for free. My view is that peak season is when the villa earns money. If I block out a week for them, I’m not just “sharing a holiday home”, I’m giving up a week’s rental income.

I’ve said they’re very welcome to use it either in low season, when bookings are much quieter, or at very short notice if a peak-season booking unexpectedly cancels (which almost never happens).

They’re unhappy with this because they want to be able to plan a holiday well in advance, and they don’t want to go in low season because the weather is less reliable. Even if they paid half the market rate this is more than they would usually pay for a holiday, so they don’t want to pay that either.

For context, my parents do occasionally use the villa in peak season. The villa ultimately came from my side of the family (family money/early inheritance), so I don’t really see that as the same thing. Without them, there wouldn’t be a villa in the first place.

Also, while I get on reasonably well with my in-laws, I wouldn’t choose to holiday with them for a week or two, so inviting them while we’re there isn’t really something I want to do either.

AIBU for saying that if they want to use it in peak season, they should either pay the market rate (or even half), or go in low season? Or should family simply be allowed to use it for free regardless of the income I’d be giving up?

Same. And speaking personally, I'm the type of person who is generous to a fault and would happily give up income in the scenario for family inc in laws. That generosity slams shut the second I smell entitlement though, which I suppose could be interpreted as meanness! I'll give you the shirt off my back but don't start expecting my shirt just because it's "kind".

Depends on how their finances are split through surely ? From what OP says it looks as though they are each responsible for their own income/spending. If that’s the case then they should at least be splitting the cost of in in laws holiday between them.

She clearly says she wouldn't want to spend a week on holiday with them so they're clearly not close. If they were really close and super helpful I expect she'd feel differently.

what's hypocritical?

What she does with her property and her own parents is nobody's business. She could gift a free week to a friend, or her children or whoever she wants. It could be a gift, reciprocating or thanking a friend, a million reasons and most importantly, it's for her to do what she wants with!

As long as the in-laws are welcome to spend a week or 2 during the year for free, that's more than generous.

Oh fgs let your dh's parents have a week in your villa for free.

yanbu but at the same time the reason people like trips peak time is that’s when it’s easier to get everyone together. If roles were reversed and dh had his family going and said ‘tell your family they can go not only off season because I want the money for it’ I’d be pissed off

I quote this post but there are other with the same reasoning here.
I have no idea what is OP arrangement with her parents, I see it as she said a inherited assets and she probably was the one offering to them because is with their help that she has the villa, that is gratitude shown by the OP. On the other side, I see the in laws are trying to take advantage of an asset and conditions that they haven't contributed at all, in fact they think they are entitled to it and are not willing to contribute financially with a lower rate.
Their excuse of they wanting time to plan the holiday aligns with any off peak season free holiday OP is willing to give them, they can plan the holiday now and go in October, plenty of time to plan. I think they want a freeby that is not for them to ask because gifts are given, not demanded.
I have voted YANBU.
There is also a risk here of them wanting more and other members of the extended family trying to have that peak holiday in OP villa. I would cut the issue now, before is too late and OP becomes the "bitch that doesn't want us going on holiday" because is not an empty house is her business.

she does...

but the CF are making unreasonable demands!

Given that it’s now obvious you could afford it then it would be a nice thing to do for them. They are family too after all and may one day be in a position reciprocate your kindness when you need it.

So OP should be funding holidays for both sets of parents out of her own independent income, while DH avoids a financial hit ?

Think it’s fairly clear that op doesn’t really need the money, no massive hardship to forego 1 outfit or a dinner out , it’s not the difference between feeding her children or not , I’m sure she’s aware of her in laws situation & whether or not they could afford a holiday otherwise .
anyway that’s my 2pennies worth and I’m sticking to it .

DH appears to already be paying for everything.

I often think in these situations, what would we think if the roles were reversed and the DH was allowing his family, and not yours.

Put it another way.

Any normal human being, when offered a FREE holiday for a week or 2 in a popular holiday destination, would be grateful and very happy for the opportunity! That would be your main holiday, or an extra during the year because it's FREE.

I don't know anyone who would complain about a FREE holiday, no string attached (the OP is not going at the same time....)

You have to be on another level of CF to complain about such a gift 😂😂

I was with you until you said you let your parents use it in peak time.

I'd bet a tenner if the boot was on the other foot and the ils had property, 'assets' etc the op would expect a freebie. It's what you do when you have a villa, you let your parents and your husband's parents stay for free.
Can't stand selectively tight people.

It's an income stream. And you feel you owe your parents to use the villa when they choose because without them you wouldn't have the property/income in the first place. You're not saying no to your in laws using the villa ... for free!! You're just saying no to peak season. Which is when you earn the most.

They're being unreasonable. Stick to your guns.

I think they are being slightly unreasonable to ask for peak season. I think it’s understood these sort of perks are for off-season.

However, I wouldn’t say no to my in laws and I certainly wouldn’t charge them. If your husband “earns a very good salary” and you out earn him from your investments, it sounds like you could afford to give them a week.

Exactly.

This!
Plus, does your DH have siblings/aunts/uncles/cousins? They'll be next in line with their begging bowls for their free weeks before you can say knife.

I think it all depends how wealthy you and dh are, and how wealthy they are. You sound wealthy and maybe PILs are not; in that case you should let them for free. They are your family after all. If they are also wealthy, then let them pay.

Yes. I also wonder about the finances of married couples like this. Completely seperate, I'm assuming. Therefore the villa completely belongs to her and the DH has no say.

If this is the case, YABU. You put a few lunches with friends and a new outfit as being more important to you than your in laws? That’s just nasty.

On balance YNBU as your financial independence and presumably also future (pensions etc) are important.
I think you’ve been reasonable in proposing half-price during peak season or a free week in the low season. That also sets a fair precedent for future asks of them and the wider family. If you choose to waive the charge or gift anyone a stay that’s still your perogative.

This clarifies the situation quite well, but doesn't cover you in glory. One outfit and some dinners. I would do it for my in-laws because they're family.