To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake

[Dinnertext]

I’m a long time lurker but have pulled on my big girl pants for my first ever post in AIBU!

We are hosting my friend and her husband on Saturday for dinner. We’ve hosted them before and they’ve always been good company and said they’d enjoyed the food.

We were texting earlier about something unrelated - she clearly had another conversation on the go as she sent a reply which was of no relevance to our conversation.

Her message said:
I can’t do Saturday I am afraid. At (my name)’s for dinner again. That reminds me to stock up on the Pepto for the next morning 😂

Would it be wrong of me to rescind the invite? We go to a lot of effort to host them and feel this is frankly insulting.

Accidentally responded a moment ago before I saw you’d updated.

Fuck that. Too polite to mention it to you to work out if it was food poisoning or just a stomach bug her and her fella had, but not too polite to not turn it into a running joke with her other mates so they could have a cackle about needing to stock up on medicine because your food has form for being just so bad.

I’d tell her not to bother coming personally.

Big fat no. DH can socialise with the husband another time.

What a bitch. Awww OP I'm sorry it's horrible when someone turns out so mean. She's come out of this very badly though while I'm sure you're a good host. If her and her husband both have such delicate stomachs that they can't manage pasta perhaps you should suggest they both have colonoscopies to check if there's something amiss. And they can stick their "crisps and olives" up there while they're at it x

She is not your friend and there is no way she’d be stepping back through my door for drinks…. She should be mortified….
The dig about where you shop for food just tops it all off neatly so you can tell her to stick her olives.
Great that your husband likes her husband, they can arrange a meet up between them and go to a pub.

Read the updates!

she doesn't sound like a friend. A friend would at least make up a lie about the pepto to spare your feelings.

I can't imagine any meet up with her this evening would go well, so I wouldn't bother.

what a shitty friend.

There's been an update. She's just a cow.

Wow, she really went for it.
She could have said anything to explain the text and use of the pepto.
Pp have made loads of suggestions on this thread far more polite and pacifying yet she went for broke instead.

Who does she think she is!

Absolutely no way would I host them now, she's not a friend if that's what she thinks and then to actually tell you, incredibly rude.

I think by still hosting them you're showing her you have no boundaries and she can treat you both with such disrespect.

I'm betting she read the text to her DH first as well so he's as bad as she is, how does your DH not see how rude this is?

I said to place the bottle there but to make sure that by the end of the evening it was clear this is a joke and to laugh about it.

Nobody is not knowing where they stand. There are just different ways of getting there. Yours is no better than mine. Mine is no better than yours.

In my opinion.

I couldn't have them around for drinks after that reply, what on earth could you talk about?!

That was so rude, I would be really hurt.
You are better off without 'friends' like that.

If you want to remain friends, then suggest a restaurant instead

If you’re not bother but your DH wants to remain friends with her DH, suggest the two of them go out alone

Have them over and when they leave, present her with a gift - bottle of Pepto wrapped and ribboned 😂

If it were me, I wouldn’t be interested in spending time with her again. She bitched about you and the nature of the msg suggests it isn’t the first time (receiver of the msg clearly knew what happened the last time)

I think it's more likely that she's trying to cover her embarrassment for being caught being nasty by trying to make the OP feel bad for making them ill.

Op, she's clearly been bitching about you behind your back. I couldn't face them again.
Tell dh he can meet hubby elsewhere but you are not hosting them again in future.

Sounds like she had to think about her excuse....

I would be out next time, leave DH to host alone if he's so keen.

The only reason I would be ordering a takeout for this particular friend is if I had the bottle to order the hottest dish on the menu with an extra helping of hidden chillies and then sprinkle laxatives on to garnish before serving it to the b**tch!

I wouldn't want her round for "drinks and crisps" or at all . How dare she insult and dictate to you.

I'd reply "actually something has come up and we can't host on saturday" and leave it there.
The blokes can go for a drink another time. Friend is no loss (unless she realises how rude she has been and properly apologises).

@Dinnertext

She sent a disgraceful reply, how will you even be able to welcome her back into your home, she's an absolute shrew.

Your husband really needs to have your back on this, definitely cancel and reconsider if you'd even want her in your life any longer.

How horrendous.

She offered to bring crisps because she probably think your crisps aren't from the 'right' brand too. She sounds like an awful snob.

Moaning behind your back is one thing, not bothering to apologise is quite another. She doesn't seem to value your friendship all that much. Heck, had I been caught out like that I would've been mortified and apologised silly amounts.

I wouldn't have the snobby cow back in my house.

Don't say anything as actions speak louder than words, when she comes for dinner , when offering drinks ask her "wine or Pepto" she either laugh or die of embarresment revenge is often served 🥶 cold.

Yes, your husband should understand. This was rude and I'm really sorry OP. Are you expected to host your husband's friend's wife, who clearly doesn't value your friendship, and be unconfirmed through the evening? Your husband can go to the pub if he wants to maintain that friendship. I would politely rescind the invitation and tell your husband to make his own social plans where you don't have to compromise your integrity. Good luck.

i don’t think she’s being a shop snob, she’s just trying to find a way to blame the ingredients rather than the cooking process so it doesn’t sound like she’s attacking the OP.

it’s awkward and unfortunate but i wouldn’t lose a friend over this.

The thread has moved on. She's replied. She's just a bit of a nasty cow.

I’m with @Wingwalk
Cancel.

DH can meet the husband for a drink. Easy for him to say to host when the other party has essentially insulted your cooking and hosting efforts. DH needs to back you up on this.