To call off girl’s holiday on the day?

[whereismyhisband]

I’m due to go on a girl’s holiday for a week with a friend, an all inclusive to Cape Verde.

This friend had warned me that she’s somewhat of an anxious traveller, but that it would be fine.

Our flight is at 4:45pm. Our airline has said be there a maximum of three hours early.

The airport is half an hour from my house and my job is 15 minutes in the other direction from my job.

I am working until 12, so that I only needed to take a half day of leave.

She has been texting me since 6am asking if I’m sure I want to work today, and asking if we should leave for the airport at 10! I can’t deal with this today, I have a lot to do before I finish at work and don’t see the need for it. I’ve never traveled with her before and to be honest if I’d known she was like this I’d not have booked it. AIBU to just not go?

You obviously have no experience of anxiety. Telling someone who is anxious not to be anxious is counterproductive. Have a little empathy. I it goes a long way.

YABU to be thinking about leaving your friend in the lurch because she's anxious about travelling - it sounds like you don't actually like her or want to go away with her, so I don't really understand why you booked a trip with her in the first place.

Whatever the plans were for getting to the airport, just confirm to her that you'll stick to them and then say you've got to get on with your morning's work now. Then send her a message when you're leaving work so she knows you haven't been held up. You sound like a really bad friend to be honest - her anxiety isn't yours to manage and the messages are annoying, but a good friend would at least have some empathy and try to help her through it. Your reaction is to immediately get cross and jump to "I don't want to go anymore" - which is why I'm assuming you don't actually like this friend very much anyway.

Go on the holiday, you might well have a great time once the airport formalities are out of the way, and if you don't want to travel with her again just don't book any more holidays with her. And maybe step back from the friendship so she can spend time with people who actually like her.

I’m horrible because I’m fed up after 100 messages? About the most basic thing of going to the airport?!

I'm going to go against the grain here and say I think you should do your 'friend' a massive favour and yes, do over react, even though, apparently you're an adult, and cancel on her at the last minute.

Whilst she sounds extremely nervous and is winding herself up into a panic, you sound like an extremely unpleasant person.

I can't imagine what possessed her to want to book a holiday with someone who clearly has absolutely no empathy for anyone who is struggling and obviously doesn't actually like her very much.

Can't you just meet at the airport at the times that work for the both of you. I definitley think going out is more stressful than coming home, so I don't think you have anything to worry about. People are different. Try not to be annoyed because someone reacts differently to you.

£800 for all inclusive to Cape Verdi in July - can you tell me which company this was with, sounds like the bargain of the year.

Your suggestion of cancelling the holiday is also a massive overreaction!!

Message her that you will see her at the check in desk at x time, then mute and archive her on WhatsApp. Put your phone on silent. Then follow your own plans.

P.s. I’ve heard terrible things about norovirus from people coming back from CV. I’d make sure you drink bottled water and brush your teeth in bottled water. Don’t have ice in your drinks or eat salad (likely washed in tap water).

Again with the lack of empathy.

You're really not coming across well here

While I empathise, I hate flying. And I'm a nightmare leading up to the flight. She's prewarned you she's an anxious traveller so cut her some slack.

Explain your point and tell her you'll meet her there. And then don't read her messages.

But give over with the attitude. Think yourself lucky you don't have her fear.

That's nuts. I'd message her "STFU or you're going alone" 😁

With a 4:45 longish haul I'd be at the airport at 2pm at the earliest too. I'd say the less time in the airport with her the better. I'd also be telling her that go ahead and get to the airport 6 hours in advance if it makes her less anxious, so that she can deal with the stress of queues etc. She does not need you there for that surely. I'd also tell her as she's going 6 hours in advance you'll meet her at the gate.

Yeah this sounds like you’re the issue here. There was no hysteria, I asked questions that you didn’t give info about in your post. I then tried to give your friends viewpoint.

good fucking luck to your friend. She’s going to need it travelling with you if this is the mood you’re in. You’re going to Cape Verde this afternoon (allegedly) - cheer the fuck up.

It appears to me that you are already sabotaging your own holiday. If you don’t calm down and accept that she has anxieties, that you can ignore, then you and she will be falling out before you get to the airport. And if you are so busy at work why are you on MN?

Arrangements such as when to get to airport presumably were discussed and locked in before today?

Why did friend book a holiday if she has this issue? OP did you know in advance or has this come as a shock?

I think friend is being really unfair to OP.
OP hasn’t done anything wrong and is only considering taking steps to avoid a very uncomfortable challenging situation.

im surprised that so many think this is for OP to put up with and manage.

I was thinking the same!

Every time I get on a plane, I think I'm going to die. Genuinely. I do it, because I know my feeling is illogical. But I still feel that I'm facing death.

Stop judging. She is not you. Just don't read the messages.

I feel sorry for your friend. She’s got anxiety, it’s not fun.
your going to turn up in a stinking mood.

Nah, being fed up doesn’t make you horrible. It’d annoy me too. Cancelling the holiday would make you horrible though. Massive over reaction on your part.

I agree. You sound like you really dislike her. I think just call it a day.

You will literally be stood in the check in area waiting for bag drop to open, friend can do that on her own. She should probably have booked airport assistance to be able to cope to be honest.

Did you not know her before you planned the women's holiday together?

Sorry OP but I think that’s a really unkind attitude. She has already said she is a nervous traveller There is no harm in saying that you absolutely cannot leave work before 12 as previously arranged, and suggesting that she makes her own way to the airport earlier if she wishes and you will meet her there, but please don’t dismiss her concerns and/or anxiety as hysterical panic.

She said she was an anxious travel. She did not say it was this level of anxiety.

You're the one being ridiculous. Talk about over reacting.

Loads of people want to get there early, check in asap and relax in the airport rather than rush around, potentially getting stuck in traffic and having to panic and rush.

Just tell her you’ll meet her there. I can’t believe you’re actually suggesting you cancel, lose £800 and dump your friend so easily. You’re suggesting to just not turn up so she has to holiday alone, just because she wants to be there early? Not a nice friend in my eyes.