To call off girl’s holiday on the day?

[whereismyhisband]

I’m due to go on a girl’s holiday for a week with a friend, an all inclusive to Cape Verde.

This friend had warned me that she’s somewhat of an anxious traveller, but that it would be fine.

Our flight is at 4:45pm. Our airline has said be there a maximum of three hours early.

The airport is half an hour from my house and my job is 15 minutes in the other direction from my job.

I am working until 12, so that I only needed to take a half day of leave.

She has been texting me since 6am asking if I’m sure I want to work today, and asking if we should leave for the airport at 10! I can’t deal with this today, I have a lot to do before I finish at work and don’t see the need for it. I’ve never traveled with her before and to be honest if I’d known she was like this I’d not have booked it. AIBU to just not go?

THIS!!

With friends like you, she doesn't need any enemies!

a bit anxious

You call 100 texts, days before going, being "a bit anxious"???

What on earth would your bar be for being actually anxious?!

The friend's behaviour sounds utterly ridiculous

I just don’t think things like this need to be coddled.

it’s not a normal or healthy reaction to being nervous about something. I shouldn’t have to hold her hand through it, she should be able to cope n

over reaction to not go on a holiday as someone has text you - its not a normal reaction

It’s not just one or two. It’s over 100.

I had similar with a friend from another city going to the theatre with me. It turned out it was more fear of the unknown. Once I told her how the ticket checks worked (quick scan at the door rather than the long queues she’d been expecting), that the seats were easy to find (tiny theatre) and that DH would drop us off so we wouldn’t need to find a parking space, she calmed down, I knocked an hour of her arrival time and the evening turned out really nice.

I feel bad for the friend too….OP is not a great friend to this lady, I am thankful I don’t have friends like OP. It’s okay to be annoyed a little, but to cancel on the day…wow

I would silence the chat (like I do with my husband when he starts to barrage message me) and crack on with what i´m doing. No drama. Do the same.

She obviously does need that support even if you don't think she does.

If you're her friend offer reassurance and support. Tell her that 3 hours early will be absolutely fine

It really looks like you don't like her or care for her at all

Anxiety is awful, it can affect everything. The least you can do is offer support to your friend.

and your idea of dealing with it, is to cancel your holiday.

Seems you're both dramatic

You're being a dick. I am sure there are things that you find hard that others don't.

Just tell her you'll meet her there if she wants to go ahead, or travel with you when you go. Then don't engage as you are working.

It doesn't take much to make a journey run askew however, as I'm sure a seasoned traveller such as yourself will know.

Acknowledge her anxiety, give her some reassurance and facts, go on the holiday.

e.g. "I know you're panicking about the timings but don't worry, we'll be fine. I'll leave work bang on 12, be home at 12:15, I'll have a wee and grab my bag (which I've already packed!) then hop in the car. It's only half an hour to the airport so I'll be there by 1pm at the very latest. We've been told to arrive 3 hours before the flight at the very most, so they don't even want us to turn up until 1:45pm at the earliest. I can't leave at 10am as I've not booked it in with work but even if I leave at 12 we've got more than enough time. Like I say, I've already got all my bags packed, we could arrive at 2:30pm and still have more than enough time. I know you're worried but honestly, trust me, we will be totally fine and we'll arrive too early if anything. Really looking forward to this trip! Woop woop!"

You’re not a nice person OP, maybe you should cancel. It will devastate your friend now, but it will help her later to avoid friends like you. It will give her the chance to make quality friends of value.

This would drive me mad.
Tell her you will meet her at the airport and turn your phone off.

She has no right to spoil your holiday by flapping about the return trip. She chose to come. She knew that would involve two plane trips.

You might have a shock when you reach peri-menopause and anxiety sets in, OP.

This is not looking promising for the rest of the trip. I'm afraid I wouldn't have patience for this hysteria either.

Stop saying she's an adult!! We get it! You are so much more seasoned traveller than she is. 🙄

OMG 8 hours 😂😂😂

I'd be stern with her.

"Look X, you have sent me over 100 messages this morning. That's just ridiculous and it's getting the holiday off to a bad start. Please stop. We are not going to miss the flight and check in doesn't even open until 1:45. I'll see you at (time and place) as planned. I'm working until 12 so can't reply to any more messages now."

You sounds like a horrible person and a terrible friend.
So just because someone isn’t the same as you and gets anxious about things you think she should crack on because she’s an adult and you can do it so she should be able to?

Anxiety and mental health issues are real and debilitating. Think yourself lucky you don’t have them. Try and find some empathy for other people who aren’t the same as you.

Having anxiety is no excuse for sending someone over 100 text messages. That's harassment.

OP - you come across as being very hard and cold. Lighten up.

I don’t think having such a huge reaction to someone stressing over a flight should be coddled either.
Yes it’s annoying, yes it would annoy me too. But I’d have just dropped her a text saying ‘at work now, you head to the airport whenever you’re comfortable and I will meet you there” or whatever. No need to actually cancel the whole holiday which, in my opinion, is far more dramatic than stressing over a flight.

Over 100 messages sounds like she’s mentally unwell. Has she got travel insurance with all her health issues declared? I’d be concerned she’s going to have some anxiety related breakdown on holiday and you’ll need to deal with it.

YABU. Not many people would work a half day when they are off on holiday.

You have chosen to and now your friend is worried. You are cutting it fine even if you are packed already. You have absolutely no empathy for her issues, which she can't help, she doesn't choose to be like that.

You seem to have no understanding that we are all different as people and that people react to things in different ways. You sound very impatient and not a good friend to her.

You can send her a text saying that you are at work now and that your phone is going off. You shouldn't be checking it while working, she should understand that.

I always like to get places early after always being late as a child when it was out of my control.

I know somebody who can't "waste time" getting somewhere early and is always late to every event that she attends.